Cate Perfect Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 A very small part, which I explained to the producer. I went into specifics about why I left, she asked if Karl and I had slept together (no, but we were still a little confused) and she asked if that contributed to why we left. I said it was mostly the other reason I'd told her about. Link to post Share on other sites
Neurovore Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 You mean the "political problems" on AVEN? Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 That's a nice way of putting it. Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Neurovore Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Unfortunately, a large part of being a moderator or an administrator involves politics. I am a moderator on the NationStates forum. I know how petty some of our members can get. Link to post Share on other sites
Cate Perfect Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 *nodnod* *grunt* *shrug* Sorry, but that's the only response I have, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Neurovore Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Any response is better than nothing on a forum. Especially AVEN. Link to post Share on other sites
Orpheus Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 See, the politics is why I am not a mod here, I'm the true American Bad Boy, I have to oppose you guys, nothing persona, but somone has to play teh Devli's Advocate, a lot of the tiems I dont agreee with what I've said myself but feel that somone should bring it up. Link to post Share on other sites
tulle Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Urghhhh, I spent months waiting to see it and I was on vacation in Greece when it went on. I really wish I could have seen it, although it doesn't sound like it was that great. Link to post Share on other sites
Illina -z Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 http://download.yousendit.com/7D26E3246B2C897F Link to post Share on other sites
meep Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 :( unfortunately any link I can find to a download for it is expired. Does anyone have a fresh link that'll work? I'd really like the chance to see this Link to post Share on other sites
Illina -z Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 http://download.yousendit.com/0B8BB60D6AAC8109 Link to post Share on other sites
maco Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Look at it this way though. Say a person is heterosexual. He or she is curious about having a sexual experience with someone of the same sex. Do you think this makes the person bisexual, and not hetero afterall? It is possible that person will never want to repeat the experience again, or never be interested in it again once that little bit of curiosity has been explored. Does being asexual completely rule out any sort of curiosity about the human body and its functions? I wouldn't say so. And I mean, that person might have a sexual experience with their own sex and actually find, "wait, I am homosexual". This does not prove that heterosexuality is not a ligitimate orientation. I mean, what are you afraid of the audience of the interview finding out? That human sexuality is not black and white? Do we have to bend rules and portray it that way so that we can gain popularity? edit: That was kind of in responce to this: However, just as a note, Karl and Victoria don't fit any reasonable definition of asexuality. It's one thing to argue over whether or not attraction without drive or drive without attraction constitute asexuality; it's another to say that people who've fooled around in spite of themselves are asexual. I have not been able to post commentary or reply in a while. I am reading some of this well after it has been posted. This reply from I believe, "Cait" has me confused. I read some of "Cait's" various replies on this topic. In many of them, he seems to believe that asexulaity is positive and genuine and that people who think otherwise are backward and closed minded, yet this one comment seems to say that the things that a lot of people say about asexuality (that it cannot be normal and that asexuals only have not found the right person) are essentially true . Unless I am misunderstanding someting. No, Cait is saying what a lot of us say. Some people have fluid sexualities and start one way and over a number of years begin to lean another way. Other people need that bit of reassurance "well, maybe I should check, JUST to be sure I'm right about this" so they go outside their usual orientation for testing purposes. With asexuals, I've seen others, and I've thought it too, wonder "other people really seem to like this. What am I missing? If I try it, will I find out?" I've never tried it, and I don't really want to, but I've thought it. WHY do sexuals like it so much? If I had sex, would I "get it"? Would it "click"? Some asexuals will try it in hopes of that happening. Others will try it to be sure they don't want to repeat the experience and are asexual. I don't think I'll be trying it. I've wondered what "high" feels like and why people bother with smoking pot, but that doesn't mean I'll be trying that any time soon either. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlieee Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I love the cake model :lol: Let's say that there's someone who has never had cake before. She's heard all of her friends talking about the kinds of cake they love, and how chocolate cake is totally better than pound cake (because it IS), and how they would eat cake all the time if they could. Our main character, though, is not impressed, and has no desire to eat cake, for whatever reasons she has. But, one day she gets curious. She's never had cake, so she really can't say whether she would like it or not. Sure, she'd be putting herself at risk, because eating too much cake makes you fat, but she decides to take the risk and see for herself whether she truly doesn't like cake, or whether it's something you need to eat to decide if you like it. So, she goes over to a friend's house, who pulls out a beautiful seven-layer cake, with creamy cake and gooey chocolate fillings with those yummy chocolate crunchy things. He cuts a small slice and gives it to her, who cuts a piece off the end and takes a bite. She takes another bite, sampling the fillings, maybe comments on the way the textures smooth together the flavour. She finishes the slice, but isn't satisfied. Thanking her friend, she goes back home, happy that she's now tried cake and successfully decided that she didn't like it. But, wait! There's a problem! She actually has gooey digested bits of cake inside of her! Oh no! And, well, ignoring what would happen later on in the bathroom, what does it matter if she has cake inside of her? Lots of people who have eaten cake have cake inside of them, and some of them might love cake, and some of them might not like cake. Walking down the street, you wouldn't be able to tell who's eaten cake and who hasn't (although some claim to be able to tell), and even if you knew, how would that differ from someone who has chicken, or broccoli, or bread inside of them? While people might joke about it, the contents of one's stomach really aren't all that important when you think about it. And, well, you might be thinking, "well, she has to like cake! Why would she eat it if she didn't like it?" Well, doing something doesn't mean you like it. I go to chemistry class, and I don't like it :lol: So, basically, virginity means nothing. It's a good idea to try stuff out to make sure you do or don't like it, but it's unimportant. You could go around and base your preferences on other people's comments, but you're not your friends, and you have different tastes. I hated cauliflower until I actually tried it and discovered that I really liked it. It's your own choice, whether to try the stuff you're unsure about or not. But trying it gives a more accurate result, I guess. (my gosh that was long) Link to post Share on other sites
ChildOfTheLight Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 ^ | | | That for post of the week. Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 "The question is, what is wrong with virginity?" NOTHING!!! Okay? :D Link to post Share on other sites
thylacine Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 "I am sort of glad that they included that type of person for the sex therapist. That kind of mentality is rather fun to mock. I just wish that it wasn't so common in the world." Isn't it time someone told her that 10,000 people can't be wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Hallucigenia Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 y, is it possible to make your point without calling a rather large proportion of our members hypocrites? I agree that a person shouldn't have to try sex to know that they're asexual. I'd encourage people not to have sex if they already know they don't want it. But some people aren't as clear on that fact - maybe it's harder for these people than some others to picture themselves in strange situations. That doesn't make them hypocrites. They just had a bit of a longer and bumpier road to figuring themselves out. Not to mention the forces of peer pressure, ignorance of asexuality's existence, and doing things to please a partner... We're not preaching that sex is bad out here. We're just spreading the word that it's okay not to be interested. Virgins and non-virgins have equal claim to that title, far as I can see. Link to post Share on other sites
starrysky Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 It does not make people who have never tried sex less credible, it is a matter of different people arriving at the same place through different routes to use that metaphor. The difference between asexuals who have tried sex and those who have not, is that the word "hypocrate" applies to one of them. It is terrible that sex is seen as such a rite-of-passage and a "test." This contradicts that asexuality is a legitimate state of psychological and biological and personal being with a set of aspects all it s own. If someone told you that taking all kinds of drugs and drinking alcohol all at once is wonderful , and you know that to try it would make you sick, and eventually addicted and you don t like the idea of being a person who experiements with drugs, you don t try it to see if you might change your mind. Why change your mind about such a thing? If, as you say, we have arrived at the same place through different routes, then why does it matter how we arrived as long as we are at the same place? If you take an airplane to London and I take a cruise ship, am I somehow LESS in London than you because I didn't take an airplane? Either way we'll still be in the same London, and Big Ben won't look any different to me just because I was on a cruise ship. I very rarily sign into this web site anymore, thanks for reminding me why. If asexuals want to be called names and insulted, we can find that in the sexual world, we don't need it from each other too. Asexuals can't discuss their lives with sexuals since some of them will tell us there's no such thing as asexuality, and half the time other asexuals want to make more rules saying 'you can't be an asexual unless you are like me.' I feel like as much of a freak now as I did before I discovered there were other people who weren't interested in sex! Link to post Share on other sites
ghosts Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I'm a hypocrite now, for having tried sex even though I'm asexual? Asexual is not about having or not having sex. I don't regret it- plus I did it because I wanted to, because I was curious, not because it's some sort of rite of passage. And in fact, I like it, even without sexual attraction, and would do it again. :P Link to post Share on other sites
KAGU143 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 The difference between asexuals who have tried sex and those who have not, is that the word "hypocrate" [sic] applies to one of them. IF I could agree with any part of this AT ALL, then I would have to say that the word "hypocrite" could most surely apply to those who have NOT tried sex. After all, Sexual Aversion Disorder is a very real thing. All the denial in the world won't change that fact, and it is NOT the same thing as asexuality. ASEXUALITY IS AN ORIENTATION. END OF DEFINITION. It's NOT a special type of behavior. Trying to warp it into something else as a way of justifying your own feelings may make you feel better about yourself, but it has no effect on the ultimate meaning of the term. Sex drive = the intensity of the sexual itch. This is completely irrelevant to sexual attraction. Sexual attraction = the type of person desired to help scratch the sexual itch. "Desired" is the key word. It can be people of the opposite sex, the same sex, either sex, or NONE. Having sex with someone who is NOT sexually desired does not change a person's sexual orientation. If it did, then one single sexual experiment with the opposite sex would make all gay people straight and one single sexual experiment with the same sex would make all straight people gay. It doesn't work that way in the real world. -GB Link to post Share on other sites
jessica0414 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 eeep...sorry to be another to ask this, but does anybody have an updated link to YouSendIt to d/l the episode? I wanted to watch it, but since I'm not "out" yet to anybody and moved home from college I had to stop visiting this forum for awhile until it was "safe" to come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Niemand Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 So, she goes over to a friend's house, who pulls out a beautiful seven-layer cake, with creamy cake and gooey chocolate fillings with those yummy chocolate crunchy things. Oh, man, now I'm hungry. :lol: </OT> Link to post Share on other sites
Live R Perfect Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 eeep...sorry to be another to ask this, but does anybody have an updated link to YouSendIt to d/l the episode? I wanted to watch it, but since I'm not "out" yet to anybody and moved home from college I had to stop visiting this forum for awhile until it was "safe" to come back. The segment was re-aired on abc's Primetime a while back. You can watch it on YouTube: link ;) Link to post Share on other sites
jessica0414 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 thanks :) Link to post Share on other sites
ghosts Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hey y, There's a lot of different people who come from different backgrounds and lifestyles, so of course there's going to be a variety of viewpoints. I can't remember if anyone was particularly rude to you in this thread, but I'm sure some just really disagreed with you & voiced their own particular opinion without even implying that you shouldn't be able to voice your own. (I was one of those) Sure you can say that asexuality is a matter of principle not behavior and you can practice sex even though you hate it so as to proclaim and prove to the world how miserable you are because of sex and therefore prove that sex is not absolutely a one-size-fits-all pleasure for everybody. Actually maybe some of you asexuals who don't mind not being virgins ought to do this and tell other people not to torture themselves as you do to yourselves. This would be what would make any "sexual asexuals" more credible than their telling other "non-sexual asexuals" to try it for themselves, lose their virginity, don't think once about it, and join the world of exactly-alike people who have all tried sex. I think you are generalizing a bit too much here. To start with, I am asexual. I'm not a virgin. I've done sexual things, and I have *never* been miserable as a result- I'm not torturing myself. In fact, I actually enjoy some sexual things! It feels good to me, but I just don't desire it, nor do I experience sexual attraction. Now by me saying all that, I am in no way trying to tell other asexuals who *don't* want to have sex that they *should* try it. I think everyone should do what they're comfortable with. If an asexual wishes to remain a virgin, I think that's a perfectly valid choice. If an asexual enjoys sex & doesn't wish to quit having sex, I see no reason why that isn't just as valid a choice. I actually can't remember any sexually active asexuals on AVEN telling other people on here that they should try to have sex- unless it was someone telling another person that it's ok to be curious and try it out if you really want to. Link to post Share on other sites
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