I'm trying to find a label (probable TMI warning)

[Drazex]

I never considered myself asexual, even though at least some of my friends thought I was/am. I recently stumbled on the idea of grey-A, and the notion has resonated with me, a bit. I come from a bit of a scientific background, so it interests me to try to figure what classification (IE, label) fits me, and thus how that compares to the rest of the (a)sexual world. I would appreciate all help people can provide me. Questions to help narrow the definitions are welcome, and I have no problem with questions that venture into TMI territory.

One of my first questions, I suppose, is regarding the notion of "sexual attraction". As the fundament upon which the definition of asexuality is built, understanding how it is defined seems to be an important first step. So where is the line between "sexual attraction" and "aesthetic attraction"? Reading around a bit, I suspect that I may experience very little "sexual" attraction and a great deal of "aesthetic" attraction, but that all depends on where the line is drawn. For me, if I see an attractive girl on the street, my mind generally does not go towards sex. I do feel an attraction, enjoying the sight of her face or breasts, but I think that qualifies as "aesthetic" attraction. That said, I sometimes feel the desire to fondle said breasts, but I believe this may be an extension of aesthetic, much as I often touch sculptures to better take in their texture. I don't recall any sexual arousal or thoughts of directly sexual acts accompanying such urges.

As another confounding factor, I do get sexually aroused when seeing nude women, though this arousal is rarely associated with thoughts of sexual acts unless such images are a part of straight-up porn, and even in those cases, I don't imagine myself in the situation, but rather just get aroused from basically the concept of sex given photo/video form. Writing it out, that does sound rather grey-A or even asexual, but I am very interested to hear others' opinions on the matter.

Further, while I do have a sex drive, I have little to no interest in actually having sex. I can feel the "pressure" build, and the attractions I feel (be they sexual or aesthetic) become more pronounced, as time passes. Masturbation releases this pressure, and this pressure release is the main reason I masturbate. Masturbation is almost more like a chore for me, though, and I often procrastinate on it or have to 'force myself' to do it for the sake of keeping my sex drive minimized (which I do ~1-2 times per week, on average). While the thought of actually having sex with someone doesn't disgust me or anything, I would say that it doesn't really interest me at all. I am still a virgin at 26 years old, and I have never once tried to pursue a relationship of any kind. I occasionally have some desires for a relationship, but only ever for romantic reasons, and still not enough to make me actually want to spend the time to pursue one.

So I suppose that probably sums it up. Any and all help in clarifying how I can categorize myself are welcome and appreciated, and I'm happy to answer any questions that could help narrow it further. I personally suspect that I fall somewhere in the Grey-A umbrella, but confirmation/refutation of this, as well as a less broad descriptor, are my goals. Thanks in advance!

[Ac0re]

You sound asexual.

Do you ever want/desire sex? Like "I wanna stick my dick in her!"?

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Ignore attraction, it's irrelevant. What matters is whether or not you ever desire sex with anyone.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

DP.

[Drazex]

You sound asexual.

Do you ever want/desire sex? Like "I wanna stick my dick in her!"?

No, not particularly. Usually its limited only to "dang, that's a nice rack", with the farthest extreme being wanting to touch said rack.

As I've been thinking, since originally posting this, the more I've been thinking I'm probably asexual given everything I've read here. The conflicting definitions make it hard, though, so it's nice to have some confirmation. In the past, I hadn't understood that libido/attraction could be separate from, and independent of, asexuality.

[AVEN #1 fan]

You're probably an hypo-heterosexual or gray-heterosexual, imo. 

[nanogretchen4]

I think you are attracted to females and might experience responsive desire if you got as far as making out with a woman. Not everyone desires specific sexual acts before they have any experience. You seem pretty unmotivated to actually date, but that could be shyness.

[Salted Karamel]

No one can give you a label except for you. I'd suggest reading up on various types of graysexuality and various definitions of asexuality and see if any of them sound like they fit your experiences.

[Lizzytreble13]

For me, it helps to distinguish between sensuality and sexuality. Sensual to me is anything that pleases the senses, so kissing, cuddling, perhaps even fondling fall into that category. It's not a super solid line, but sexual would be anything more, uh, explicit. It sounds to me like you experience sensual attraction, but maybe not sexual. Call it what you want, but I think if you aren't interested in sex, it's safe to say you're asexual.

 

Good luck figuring yourself out! 

[Ettina]

That sounds grey ace to me. Wanting to fondle boobs doesn't sound like aesthetic attraction, that's pretty clearly sexual in my opinion. But you don't sound like a typical allosexual person either.