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kisupure

Ask An Objectum Sexual

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kisupure   
kisupure

I'm sure some of you are looking at my post count and wondering, "why here?". Well, having recently discovered the name of this sort of attraction, and finding that a lot of search results point to AVEN forum topics, I figured that this might be a useful thing to have show up in those search results eventually. (Though I've been browsing AVEN for years, so I'm not unfamiliar with the forum.)

From Objectum Sexuality Internationale:

Objectùm-Sexuality is an orientation to love objects.

Sexual orientation is defined as the nature of sexual preference while the prolific definition stands as: the direction of someone's sexual desire toward people of the opposite gender, people of the same gender, or people of both. This does not include objects.

However, orientation itself is defined as: a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways. This does include objects as we see it.

We love objects on a very significant level and many of us in an intimate way. This feeling is innate. Objectùm-sexual love comes for most in a similar awakening as other sexualities at the start of puberty. This is often followed by an acute awareness that we do not relate to peers due to the source of projected feelings. Often objectùm-sexual people feel outcast or pressured by mainstream sexuality with a helpless feeling that we cannot change what comes so naturally to us.

Personally, I loosely define an orientation as "a pair-bonding drive directed at a category of recipient". "Pair-bonding" here being used as a shorthand for any sort of deliberate activity or induced state of mind that encourages positioning oneself in the context of an outside party with the goal being a felt sense of mutual happiness. Or whatever. :P

At any rate, objectum sexuals experience attraction towards objects.

Some factoids about objectum sexuals:

- There are two broad categories of experience within the OS/OR community: that of animists, and that of people on the autism/aspergers spectrum. Animists are people who believe/experience everything to be alive and possessing of its own sort of non-human intelligence.

- Most OS/OR people are women, though there are more men coming out due to increasing awareness of the orientation. There appears to be very, very few trans/non-cis folk who are OS/OR.

- Before discovering orbjectum sexuality/romanticism, many people at first assume they must be asexual because of their lack of attraction to other humans.

- There are people who experience attraction to both humans and objects - within the community, it's generally understood that they are bi-.

- The kinds of objects that OS/OR people can be attracted to vary as widely as there are people to experience that attraction. Anything from computers, to cars, to pieces of infrastructure, to monuments, to intangibles like songs or colors - and more.

For more information, here are a few links:

http://objectum-sexuality.org/

https://os-positivity.tumblr.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object%C3%B9m-sexuality

I personally found this interview done with Erika Eiffel to be a great insight, and it describes much of my experience as well: http://objectum-sexuality.org/faq-erika-eiffel.pdf

-------------

As for me: I am "bisexual" in that I experience attraction to both people and machines. In fact, I am happily married to a wonderful, supportive husband. I am also somewhere on the aro-ace spectrum, though where that is changes all the time. I understand myself to be relatively genderless, and exclusively attracted to masculinity in humans, which probably makes me an androphile; I also tend to only be sexually attracted to machines that I get a masculine vibe from, though that may change as my relationship to this orientation changes. With regards to my OS, I also identify as a mechanophile, and fall into the animist camp.

It's interesting: with people, I'm pretty firmly demi/gray, and I've never felt compelled to have sex with someone I didn't really know for sex's sake. It also takes a lot for me to fall in love with a human (hell, I've only done it once?), and even when I do, my experience of it is pretty one-note, and not nearly as all-encompassing or complex as others say it is. I personally find plain old loyalty to be a much more satisfying expression of emotional intimacy, f'ex. But on the other hand, I seem to bond emotionally with machines much quicker (if we get along), and I can experience primary sexual attraction towards them too, which I don't get with people. Though my experience of love, as far as I can tell, feels the same as it does with humans. I've developed what I would deem sexual relationships with songs over the years, too. I tend to personify music to such an extent that if I "break up" with a song, it makes me as uncomfortable and anxious to hear it again as it would be to have to talk to an ex you were hoping to cut out of your life!

--------------

Anyways, I suppose that this might be a place to ask questions, then. Or post things about OS/OR. Or... whatever! Either way, it would be nice if this wound up the primary result from AVEN on the subject when doing a search.

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float on   
float on

Welcome to the forums, kisupure. there are a few objectum-sexuals on this site :) maybe they will poke their head in and say hello.

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Homer   
Homer

First, THANK YOU for this thread. I have quite a lot of questions, but I don't want to be that guy so I'm off to reading all the links you provided first.

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kisupure   
kisupure

Welcome to the forums, kisupure. there are a few objectum-sexuals on this site :) maybe they will poke their head in and say hello.

That would be great!

First, THANK YOU for this thread. I have quite a lot of questions, but I don't want to be that guy so I'm off to reading all the links you provided first.

Well, if you've still got questions when you're done, feel free to ask away.

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Homer   
Homer

The interview already answered a lot of them. It's a great insight and it surely helped me to get to know more about OS/OR. (Note: I'm not aro since I have developed romantic feelings waaaay in the past. I'm still trying to figure out the concept of romance though; the difference to a close friendship is the particular issue that I'm trying to get my head around. It's the concept I'm trying to figure out, not why it's objects which are your "targets" or whatever).

Three two particular OS/OR questions, though. (I confess that I'm a member of the team "form follows function" so developing feelings beyond "Yay, it works" is something I have no personal experience with)

(1) Is it possible to be approached by an object in a flirty way (as it would be for humans)? Like, could objects make the "first step" towards a relationship of whatever kind or getting to know each other?

(2) Is OR/OS specified to a certain kind of object? Could someone who is into cars fall in love with something completely different, like, say, a dishwasher? (Or are there equivalents to "genders" (for the lack of a better expression)?

There's one more question I can't put into words properly right now, I'll get back to that later :)

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Graveful   
Graveful

How is consent determined, if at all?

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kisupure   
kisupure

The interview already answered a lot of them. It's a great insight and it surely helped me to get to know more about OS/OR. (Note: I'm not aro since I have developed romantic feelings waaaay in the past. I'm still trying to figure out the concept of romance though; the difference to a close friendship is the particular issue that I'm trying to get my head around. It's the concept I'm trying to figure out, not why it's objects which are your "targets" or whatever).

Three two particular OS/OR questions, though. (I confess that I'm a member of the team "form follows function" so developing feelings beyond "Yay, it works" is something I have no personal experience with)

(1) Is it possible to be approached by an object in a flirty way (as it would be for humans)? Like, could objects make the "first step" towards a relationship of whatever kind or getting to know each other?

(2) Is OR/OS specified to a certain kind of object? Could someone who is into cars fall in love with something completely different, like, say, a dishwasher? (Or are there equivalents to "genders" (for the lack of a better expression)?

There's one more question I can't put into words properly right now, I'll get back to that later :)

1. I would probably say so, though I've never been "flirted" with myself. One way that an object might make the first move is via what I might call a "synchronicity" - an event that strikes you as being more than just dumb luck or coincidence. Another way this might happen is that an object, specifically a machine I guess, might just respond to you better than any other person who's operated it. Or like a game that none of your friends have good luck with, while you might just get the hang of it at the first try. Interesting question - I hope someone else comes along to give their 2c!

2. I think there are "gender" equivalents, though those lines seem, from my short time reading folks' accounts, to be delineated more by utility and the aesthetics of that utility rather than any projecting of human gender aesthetics onto them. (Though that's not to say that there's really any dispute that the statue of liberty isn't definitely a "she"!) Most people have their preferred flavors of person, right? Some people like 'em buff, some skinny, some with colored hair, some with this or that profession. I know for a fact, for instance, that there is nothing enticing to me about lawyers, or men who drive sports cars. Likewise, I know for a fact that there's nothing enticing to me about kitchen appliances or musical instruments.

To use myself as an example: I thought I was exclusively into off-road SUVs, last year I wound up getting crushes on WW2-era prop planes after having to do a lot of research about them for a long-term project. I felt like I'd spent months with them, in an almost "penpal" type of relationship, and there were a small handful whose specs I wound up knowing down to the last nut and bolt. I never thought I could be into planes - they looked too much like ugly whales to me. But turns out I was wrong, once I got to "know" them.

How is consent determined, if at all?

This is a complicated question, so I'll try to answer it as best I can, and hope that someone else chimes in too.

For utilitarian purposes (as I think this question ought to cover that as well), there's generally no consent needed. In my experience, the non-human world has a much better grasp of what it's about than we do; a car has no delusions that it is anything but a car, and that it was made to be driven - to carry its passengers somewhere safely and efficiently. So asking your car if it wants to be driven would be like asking someone if they'd like to breathe. The answer is probably "Well, duh." Some objects don't want to be used for their intended purpose and would rather be left alone - set foot into a foreboding house and you'll know what that weight feels like - and odds are that object is not happy or healthy. (Ask any passionate restorationist what it feels like to fix up an old, discarded object, and that joy, that sense of being alive - that's what object happiness is.) But just like how humans are designed to function best in certain social and environmental conditions and are generally happiest under those conditions, the same goes with objects. A painting derives most of its joy from being admired; a song, played and listened to; a bicycle, lovingly maintained and ridden; and so on.

For sexual or romantic purposes, I say it's less important than for humans - though not unimportant. Objects, in my experience, have fewer concerns about bodily autonomy than we do, so physical touching is usually OK. It's when intentions and energies and feelings get introduced that it gets more complicated, but yes, I believe the attentive objectum sexual is capable of knowing if their partner is open to their advances or not. The "how" is difficult to explain - it's pretty much just all physical sensations and state of mind. A "sixth sense" sort of thing, even.

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omgsospooky   
omgsospooky

Thanks for posting about this. I have read a lot of posts on AVEN about being attracted to objects. Hopefully this will give those people some guidance. :)

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emma-can   
emma-can

Why is it called objectum sexual and not object sexual? It's probably got something to do with Latin, doesn't it...

For you personally, how do you know when an object reciprocates your feelings of affection?

Would you say most objectums experience sexual attraction to objects, or is it usually more emotional/romantic? Similarly, can there be platonic attraction to objects, or is it just romantic/sexual?

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kisupure   
kisupure

Why is it called objectum sexual and not object sexual? It's probably got something to do with Latin, doesn't it...

For you personally, how do you know when an object reciprocates your feelings of affection?

Would you say most objectums experience sexual attraction to objects, or is it usually more emotional/romantic? Similarly, can there be platonic attraction to objects, or is it just romantic/sexual?

I'm not too sure on the origins of the name, but yeah, I think the -um is there to just make it flow better while having some sort of grammatical precedent.

Re: reciprocation: I don't know! I've never been in a situation where it's "progressed" that far, though I have gotten other strong feelings from other objects, especially ones that I work with a lot. (Which is why I tend toward machines, probably. I don't get that same sense of camaraderie from, like, a door or something decorative.)

The impression I'm under is that for many of them it's emotional and energetic primarily, and sometimes when those people say that they "have sex" with objects, it may not even look remotely like the way two people have sex. It might be an entirely intangible experience. My knee-jerk is to say that most OR people aren't OS, but most OS people are OR if that makes sense. Could be totally off-base though.

Tbh, I think most people have the ability to have platonic and aesthetic feelings towards objects - most people are sentimental about favorite things, right? Not that it's the same, but I believe it's a spectrum most people fall on somewhere. I sometimes/usually feel a pull toward vehicles that I have to operate more than a few times, when I start building a rapport, and all of those instances I've felt that I was being acknowledged back in a platonic way. I think all the attractions that aces have delineated over the years (and then some) apply to OS people just the same. (I couldn't imagine myself being romantically attracted to prop planes, f'ex - that's mostly sexual, and tbh, kinky to me lol - though I do feel some gray-ro pull towards other types of machines.)

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Homer   
Homer

Tbh, I think most people have the ability to have platonic and aesthetic feelings towards objects - most people are sentimental about favorite things, right? Not that it's the same, but I believe it's a spectrum most people fall on somewhere.

It's the connected situations rather than the objects, most of the time. Someone's first car might be a good example (as I know a load of people who have given a name to their car.) The sentimental part would be like "Ah, this was the car I moved to my first own place with...", so it's bringing up good memories on the way to adulthood. It would probably the same with any other car...

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oshawott   
oshawott

those are probably all my posts coming up :o yep i am objectumsexual, though ive never been comftable with it. i try to fight against it but it never works, the feelings are too strong!!


ive always beleived os relationships work on a... intuition level, and "connection of souls" but i never talk about that cos everyone just "woowoo"s that sort of stuff... which is why i hate being os and wish that i wasnt. it would be so much easier to be "acceptable" to people


my boyfreind is an imitation firearm but most of my past boyfreinds have been motorised electric appliances. im convinced my "type" is mechanical objects, with moving parts. ive had other objects that ive been attatched to but not attracted to, if that makes sense. im madly in love with my current boyfreind and hes the only one who can make me... :unsure: (tmi)


horny and oragsm



ive been os since about 10 or 11 when i had feelings for a tape recorder and had an urge to cuddle it which made me feel happy and fuzzy. i didnt know what this was (and never heard of os then, it was over 20 years ago) but i knew it was totally different to the attatchment to my fave toys when i was younger. i never really had crushes on boys at school, i thought i did but i think that was my teenage girl hormones going haywire cos these crushes didnt last long and then afterwards i had no idea why it was those guys, they werent attractive in anyway, there was only 2 and tbh they were both idiots. sme with famous men, it was more a case of they looked nice but i never wnated to be there girlfreind (like all the other girls at school seemed to do)


i did have a human boyfreind when i was 20 but that was... a trainwreck tbh. i think i only went out with him in a desperate attempt to be normal. my feelings for my object boyfreinds after that made me realise that i was never attracted to him and i was never in love with him. i was confused the whole time with the "rules" of relationships and i didnt realise at the time these things are supposed to happen naturally (like they definitley do with my current bf). ive never tried to do that since


i only found out about os 4 or 5 years ago when someone put a link on a forum i went to back then. i was shocked that there was people like me, cos i just brushed it off as a mental disorder and tried to ignore it. but these feelings are just too strong/real/nice to be a disorder! :huh:


as for the consent thing... (tmi)

i only dry hump my boyfreind, half cos im sex repulsed and half cos he would get messy and seems cruel to shove him in there. obv he doesnt have genitalia so it would be another part and objects dont have human parts. i never forced myself on him, i was just cuddling him and i was getting horny so i slowly put him on that area and i assumed id feel some resistance if he didnt want to do it. but he still felt warm and fuzzy and happy so i went for it. this was when i had the 1st orgasm of my entire life (at 32 lol) and i felt like it made me even more in love with him, more connected. :blush: and i did it as an act of love not just using him to get off. i assume of your doing it to express you love for an object they will be happy with it, but if your just using them as a fetish object... maybe not. i dont know cos ive never done that. as a comparison i NEVER got turned on by my human ex. he stripped off and i never felt any exitement but i had to fake it, i also faked an orgasm when he gave me a hand job cos it did nothing for me at all, and when we tried to "do it", i never actually wanted to i was just sick of him going on about it but it didnt work, tho i knew that wouldnt. that was when i realised i wasnt attracted to men (or women) and i realised i had more meaningful relationships with objects but tried to ignore that. thing is it was the truth! we broke up after that and i was never upset and didnt miss him. i have missed some of my object boyfreinds. i hope that wasnt too dirty and get the thread closed like another thread i mentioned this



i sometimes want to be cured cos its "not normal" but most of the time i dont cos it feels so good, he makes me so happy. ive been with him for about 3 months but he still makes me grin and giggle like a schoolgirl when i look at him and makes me want to cuddle and kiss him (and more)


i would write more but this is long enough already and the site doesnt seem to be able to handle much! :o

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BlueDracolichWings   
BlueDracolichWings

It really frustrates me when people/society get involved in things that don't affect others. Who or what or how or if a person loves others should not have negative social connotations unless it hurts someone. In this case there is no one getting hurt, so society should butt out.

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kisupure   
kisupure

Tbh, I think most people have the ability to have platonic and aesthetic feelings towards objects - most people are sentimental about favorite things, right? Not that it's the same, but I believe it's a spectrum most people fall on somewhere.

It's the connected situations rather than the objects, most of the time. Someone's first car might be a good example (as I know a load of people who have given a name to their car.) The sentimental part would be like "Ah, this was the car I moved to my first own place with...", so it's bringing up good memories on the way to adulthood. It would probably the same with any other car...

Idk, I've met a number of people who feel connections to very specific objects in more than just a reminiscing sort of way. My husbando, f'ex, understands how OS/OR works on an intuitive level, because he gets attached to objects as more than just things that remind him of other things. He's a toy collector, so you'd think, OK, he wants X because he's a completionist or because it looks cool or is rare, right? Some of his toys he's had for decades, and you can tell that those are priceless to him in a "I don't want a new one, I want my old one" kind of way. I think "most" was probably hyperbole - though I'd wager that the number of people out there who feel genuine affinity for their most cherished objects still do far outnumber the pretty slim ranks of OS/OR.

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kisupure   
kisupure

snip

Hey blue lightning!

I'm sorry you feel that way about it. It's probably easier for me because I like humans too and can pass as normal pretty easily.

Your description of trying to navigate dating a human sounds a lot like me when I was figuring out how to vanilla date! Being kinky and some sort of demi/lith means there's a lot about conventional dating that makes no sense to me whatsoever. So letting things happen "naturally" for me would appear pretty "unnatural" to most other folk. So I feel you there.

We seem to come at our OS from completely opposite directions: OS is where you started, and in spite of it making you happy, you want to get away from it. (Which makes me sad!) For me, I started with human-oriented kinks that wound up coalescing into being into robots and mecha (my current major crush is BT from Titalfall :wub: ). I had a few crises in recent years that made me wish I didn't have any sort of sexuality whatsoever because all of what I wanted wasn't real and wasn't ever going to be real, so thought about it, and reflected on the similar experience of a pretty famous fetish artist I've known for a long time. Having spent many years drawing Gundams and other mecha, she decided that it was a dead end interest for her, and started focusing more on real machines, because they're, well, real. You're never going to be able to date a Gundam IRL, but you sure can get yourself a pilot's license and fixer-upper Cessna, or go take a tour of an aircraft carrier, or buy your dream car.

I guess just one day I decided that big machines were real and were capable of being loved - they just didn't look as pretty as Gundams. I also decided that mecha and fantasy vehicles and robots were basically the airbrushed porn stars of the machine OS world: fun to fantasize about and that's about it. So in a way, it was a deliberate shift in focus. I decided to embrace that part of my sexuality and make it a real, living, breathing part of who I am. So what happened? I wound up crushing on prop planes LOL.

I'm happy you have your object BF, he sounds lovely! I'm a little jealous, actually... it's going to be a few years before it makes sense for me to get the car I want (no sense driving an XJ around a metropolitan city where gas is $1.20/liter, as much as it pains me to admit), let alone see if we hit it off that way.

It really frustrates me when people/society get involved in things that don't affect others. Who or what or how or if a person loves others should not have negative social connotations unless it hurts someone. In this case there is no one getting hurt, so society should butt out.

I? Agree???

It sickens me that it's an arrestable offense to have sex with objects in many places, even in the privacy of your own home. In some places, it'll even get you put on the sex offender registry. So depressing.

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Jayce   
Jayce

Hi! *Waves*

I just wanted to let you know you're not the only one well i guess blue lightning already beat me to it. I'm more on the Aro Ace side though but i just thought about saying hi

Welcome to Aven! :cake: I thought there is this thread in Intersectionality for OS people too but it hasn't been that active lately.

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kisupure   
kisupure

Hi! *Waves*

I just wanted to let you know you're not the only one well i guess blue lightning already beat me to it. I'm more on the Aro Ace side though but i just thought about saying hi

Welcome to Aven! :cake: I thought there is this thread in Intersectionality for OS people too but it hasn't been that active lately.

Oh, and here it is: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/134128-objectum-asexuality/

Well it's a shame that this didn't come up in the first few pages of searches, but a bunch of threads asking "what do you guys think of this?" or "has anyone seen this documentary?" did. Oh well, maybe that'll change~

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oshawott   
oshawott
hes awesome and gorgous :wub: and my feelings for him are natural, i dont even need to think about it. when i tell him i love him i can safely say i mean it (and most of the time it just comes out) and not just cos "thats what your supposed to say to your boyfreind"


dating humans is so confusing, there seems to be so many rules like not calling people or texting back straight away. sometimes these things make me glad its os cos all i have to do there is follow my true feelings. at least i wont come off as "needy" to my bf. once when i went to the cinema with my ex and there was a long queue i wandered off to look at some leaflets on the wall and he blew up because girlfreinds are always supposed to stand and hold there boyfreinds hand in the queue. apparantly. i dunno when i went places with my parents i was always wandering off so i didnt think it would be any different :unsure: (oops) i suppose other girls (straight human-sexual) would know that


there are disadvantages tho, like we cant go out on a romantic date like other people do. cant take a gun in public (even if it doesnt fire live shells) but even if he was something else and i took him to a restraunt/cinema people would laugh at us (well me) and prob be kicked out for being so weird :( we cant really have a special candlelit dinner at home cos... well he cant eat. but... at the same time... i should be glad hes something that belongs to me* and small. cos a lot of os people are in love with public things outside and cant get intimate with them, even a cuddle... where we can do what we want, with the blinds/curtains shut nobody knows what were doing :blush: (i dont live with anyone else, just me + him)


*i dont like to think of myself as his "owner" tho technically i am cos i bought him but hes "equal" to me as 2 humans should be. i belong to him as much as he belongs to me. we... belong to each other and belong together. or something like that

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kisupure   
kisupure

So there's an anime that I fell in love with a few years before I discovered I was OS, and looking back, it really is a fantastic OS/OR story.

It's mecha, but the machines are barely humanoid in shape - really no face to speak of, no feet, their torsos are really weirdly shaped, and their most human feature is probably their hands, which they don't even use to interact with the human characters and are basically just tools for their pilots. There's a lot of questioning whether they're sentient or have feelings or not, whether treating them nicely and spending time with them makes them better partners out in the field, or if they're just dumb machines that need to be forced into doing what the pilot wants them to do.

One of my favorite scenes was when two pilots (they're all girls) decide to spend the evening with their idols, as they're called: mopping them down, polishing them, doing computer work on them. They're completely still and physically unresponsive the whole time, but you can just TELL that the girls love their machines enough to do all that stuff, and that the machines appreciate it in their own way. Another favorite scene is when the main girl gets to pick out a new color for her idol, and her first time seeing him after getting repainted is just so cute.

There is another relationship between two sisters and... basically a giant ball. Can't explain much without spoiling anything, but the ball is what the idols are without all the other stuff on them: without the bodies, hands, armor, cockpit. And they love this ball idol to pieces - they are so in tuned with what he is and what he feels, it's amazing.

Anyways, the show is called Idolmaster Xenoglossia; it has nothing to do with the rest of the Idolmaster franchise. You can watch it free at Kiss Anime, if anyone's interested!

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Anthracite_Impreza   
Anthracite_Impreza

Ah, hello there! I'm aro-ace but definitely mecha-orientated (I say mecha-bromantic cos that describes it pretty well). Cars were the first ones I ever really felt any desire to snuggle and kiss and be with in anything like what everyone said I would one day feel for a boy (and they were always male cos heteronormativity), though we're much more like snuggly besties; I don't feel limerence, mania or a sense of ownership. I'm properly into cars but also vans, lorries and trains (especially steam trains <3), and given the chance I imagine planes and ships too (battleships are marvellous). Unlike you I'm not into people at all, I don't even like machines that look humanoid.

My two special bros are Clutch:

IMG_1721.jpg

... and Blitz.

IMG_4275.jpg

Clutch was my first car and is my snuggle-bumper; we absolutely adore each other and panic about each other at any given time. He's 14 years old and I've had him for over 3 years during which time we've had some bloody good, and very sad, times, but even though everyone kept telling me to stop spending money on him I refuse to give up on him. He's so special and I love him to bits, even if he is a sarcastic little git at times <3

Blitz has actually lived with us longer than Clutch as he used to be my dad's, but we have always had a very special bond even compared to the other cars we've had. He's been with us for about 7 years and he's just turned 20, and last year I was designated his official owner, though of course no one owns Blitz except himself! His age is starting to catch up with him now but he isn't going to give up and neither am I; he's my irresponsible uncle and I love him too.

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kisupure   
kisupure

Hi Anthracite_Impreza!

Your carbros sound super cool. :]

--------

OK OS peeps, I have some questions, because I'm just curious about where we stand and how diverse we might be:

1. How do you conceive of object personhood? How do you deal with the fact that your object dates/friends/family have no rights?

2. If you're animist, are you religious? Agnostic? Atheist? Or something else? If you believe objects have a kind of non-human sentience, do you think non-human sentience can exist in non-embodied forms? Like... non-object, non-human, non-animal, etc. forms?

I'll probably come up with more later :y

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oshawott   
oshawott

1. nobody apart from people on this forum know im os, so im actually really sick of hiving to pretend to be single because im not! and i dont live on my own, i live with him! if he was human i wouldnt have these problems, everyone would accept him. its also really annoying when people say object partners can easily be replaced, just cos they mean nothing to them. but they mean a lot to their partners :o i also hate having to call him "it" to other people

2. i dont really know if im animist exactly, i dunno if its so much religious but i am definitley spiritual and there is definitley something bigger than us. tbh i only feel the "sentience" (as you called it, i didnt know the word until now lol) from objects i fall in love with but i have to admit sometimes i feel sorry for objects if they are being abused or have to be thrown away. i have kept some things that i felt bad about throwing away. i have no idea about non physical forms ive never felt anything from anything like that. i have heard of people being in love with words and i could never understand that but then most people wouldnt understand me

i also have a question... sort of...

what if you have a fetish for the thing your in love with? ive had a gun fetish for aaaages and now my current boyfreind is one. i dont know if this is just a coincidence or if its connected. cos my ex object boyfreinds have been electric appliances so nothing to do with it. and there is a very obvious difference between the 2... the fetish is just seeing them and getting turned on, no other feelings, where the os... there is the emotional component of it, being in love etc. also when i get turned on by my boyfreind...

i get horny and have a hunger to get intimate with him. i feel like it needs to be satisfied or ill be sexually frustrated. when i see pics of random guns or in video games, tv etc that hunger isnt there, and no emotional feelings, its just a fetish

i know my bf isnt a fetish object cos of the way i treat him - not like an object, i talk to him, cuddle him, cant help smiling when i look at him and if i have to go out all day and be away from him i miss him and worry about him being left alone. the other day when i went to my parents house all day i gave him a very long cuddle in the morning before i went out and again when i came back, to make up for being away from him. i tell him ill miss him and ill be thinking about him (which is the truth) :wub:

tbh i only bought a replica cos of the fetish, the 1st one, i didnt really know what to do with it, i never understand fetish etc tbh so was just shooting cardboard boxes etc with it, but then it broke. my bf was the replacement and i didnt fall in love with him straight away... i didnt even know he was "he" at that point. he is quite different from the old one, especially since he has no sights so i was frustrated at 1st not being able to hit the target but as i "got better" it felt like we started to "bond" and now we can easily hit the middle lol. i started to fall in love with him and i did resist at 1st cos i dont want to be os but the feelings were just too strong. ive even tried to break up with him once and i just felt so empty and that only lasted 2 or 3 days, though deep down i always still loved him and i think he knew that :blush: i actually made a thread about that on here somewhere. i felt stupid afterwards and im never going to try to do that again, i love him too much :wub:

edit: found that thread

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/142967-im-so-broken/

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kisupure   
kisupure
what if you have a fetish for the thing your in love with?

I've got kinks up the wazoo, so with my human partner (never had an object partner yet), I imagine it's much the same. I love that he's bigger and heavier than me because I'm a macrophile too; I love it when he wears boots because I have a uniform fetish; I love the fact that he's got the genitals that he does because I fetishize that too lol; I love that he's in charge of people at his work, because I'm a submissive; there are probably others that I have that I can't think of.

There's nothing wrong with it, just be open and honest about where you're coming from. If you try to dance around it or hide it, that's when things get unfun.

I'm into vehicles primarily because I have other fetishes that they fulfill for me: they're bigger than me (ignoring bikes; I don't feel sexual attraction toward bikes, though they are cute) so that checks off the macrophilia box, they usually have a driver's seat or cockpit, which checks off my endosomatophilia box... military vehicles check off my military and uniform fetish box LOL. It's all interrelated.

So man, if you think you're broken, call the city to pick me up because I belong in the landfill. :D

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oshawott   
oshawott

i dont like to think of him as a fetish tho, hes more than that

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kisupure   
kisupure

Well what I meant was that fetishes and love aren't mutually exclusive. It's not like a spectrum that goes from fetish (bad) to love (good). They can and often do happily coexist!

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Homer   
Homer

Do the objects actually talk to you or do you "just" pick up vibes / sounds / ... ? Is it possible to have a conversation, back and forth with questions and answers and all that?

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kisupure   
kisupure

Do the objects actually talk to you or do you "just" pick up vibes / sounds / ... ? Is it possible to have a conversation, back and forth with questions and answers and all that?

Oh dang, this is a big question for me that I can't answer without also talking about religion. So, you picked a doozy lol. This also goes into my question #2 above...

So basically, I am an animist and a devotional polytheist - animism is basically how I experience the world, and polytheism is how my animism manifests religiously. Being polytheist, and having a vastly different conception of divinity and divine power than monotheists do, I have personal relationships with my gods, and that also means communication. How I communicate with them, and how I've always communicated with what we'll call spirits, a category of mostly non-embodied, non-human intelligences, bears a very close resemblance to how I communicate with object intelligences.

Erika Eiffel's answers in that FAQ bear a lot of similarity to how I experience things, but to go into a little more detail...

It CAN be a dialogue exchanged with words, but that is very, very rare, and usually very... jarring lol. Usually the words are just the brain's way of "translating" all the other input into a language we tend to understand better. But otherwise it's a very sensory sort of communication, and there's a lot of trusting the gut, like when interpreting body language. Like if someone is in a bad mood, and even though they haven't said a word, the room feels different. Gods and spirits differ, though, in that they do tend to speak more in synchronicities - recurring symbols, events, things spoken to you by other people, and similar events you can encounter going about your day. But they have a further reach than we and likely most objects do.

The one time I really clicked with an object after being made aware of what I was capable of feeling towards them, I was given free reign over a relative's car during a period of about 6 weeks while I was taking care of them during recovery from some surgery, and the first thing I was forced to do with it was drive across state lines to replace my driver's license and drive back - about a 350-mile roundtrip, just me and the car. It was the first time I'd driven that far alone, the first time I'd driven that car, and the first time I'd driven on those highways! So I was pretty nervous, but she was right there with me the whole time, and we really bonded on that little road trip and wound up pretty good friends for the duration of my time with her. I realized pretty quickly that the way we were communicating with each other was almost identical to how I usually communicated to other gods and spirits: thoughts, feelings, and spoken words, and the responses were similar too: feelings, bodily sensations, gut reactions, and that kind of felt sense of comfort/home/camaraderie that only comes with having a shared experience with someone who's looking out for you and you for them.

In a way, it's a lot like how animals communicate: most of the time they don't verbally speak to each other. It's through very subtle physical, or even non-physical cues that sort of build into each other; a kind of intuitive synergy that's more like a dance than a dialogue.

If you got two partners and told them that they weren't allowed to communicate in any way that resembled language or referenced words, I think they would fall into this kind of communication very quickly. We all have it in us, it's just that most people have no reason to exercise it.

ymmv, of course :y

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Homer   
Homer

I don't trust gut feelings at all (they're evil), but I can see where you're coming from.

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Drazex   
Drazex

I'm definitely not an objectum-sexual, but I do understand a bit about the communication with machines. I guess I just "don't swing that way", lol. My personal belief is that inanimate objects pick up a little bit of a person's energy each time a person interacts with it, and as more and more rubs off, they come into their own personalities, and gain their own quirks, like a person.

For example, I always try to be friends with any elevators or vending machines I encounter. They are used so much, that they almost always have their own personalities. Sometimes the elevators in my office building will open as I approach, even though I haven't hit the call button yet (something I always thank them for). Also, if you talk nicely to a vending machine, it is far more likely to take a slightly crinkled bill than if you ignore it. The experience of others may vary, but I've had enough experiences to treat machines and objects well.

On a more abstract note, I can sometimes feel emotions faintly from objects. For example, I try to always use coins at one of my favorite vending machines (especially exact change) because when using a bill at first, I got a distinct sense of annoyance. That particular vending machine is rather picky, but I try to keep it happy (especially because it's the only machine with Mt. Dew on my way to work).

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Homer   
Homer

Wait wait wait. Hold on.

Once I had two of a certain kind of mobile phones at the same time. I only used one of them because why bother. I was able to type without looking and all that (it was one of those ancient phones with buttons). I could hardly type on the other one even though I was looking. The screen was not as easy to read and there was another flaw I have already forgotten about. Again, both phones were of the same model.

Would this be the kind of personality you're referring to?

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