Asexuality or lack of libido

[cathykeys]

Hi guys. I am.very new to all of this but through discovery found this forum

Basically since I was a teenager I enjoyed some sexual activity - probably mostly for my own personal gain but hey - we aren't all sweet and perfect. However looking at what is meant by the term "sexual desire" I don't think I experienced that. I craved a more tactile desire and a desire to be desired but never "fancied the pants off" anyone.

I am now in a long term relationship of 6 years with my fiancée and for over 2 years now couldn't care less about anything sexual. I used to suffer depression due to anxiety but feel very happy most of the time now. I am 25 and had my first time this year. I do not enjoy it at all (but I do have fibromyalgia so I guess that doesn't help). To be honest neither does my partner - thankfully. I do not feel the want or need to self pleasure anymore. If I do it is forced and I don't feel very much. The thought of kissing and sex makes me a little uncomfortable and I hate kissing much at all anymore - makes me a little nauseous.

I do not feel aroused by men at all (my partner is male) but have always found women arousing but know I wouldn't want to do anything given the chance

So just wonder is it possible I have become asexual. I would much rather a tactile romantic relationship without sex. Sexual play is the same old drawn out boring rubbish and I don't like it angmore.

I wonder if anyone could help advice me. I do like to have a label to help others understand my behaviours etc and thank you all so much for your help.

Lots of love xx

[binary suns]

I would say that losing libido over time isn't quite the same as "being asexual" but that's not really reason enough to say "I'm not ace because I once was more active" when you're fine continuing to not be active.

while I wouldn't normally say this when talking about the general population, considering what you've said about your experience - I feel as if there isn't much of a difference in effect if you call yourself "ace" or "low-libido" or both. which either one you feel more comfortable saying is fine.

honestly, if you feel like you don't identify with how a lot of culture is all about sex when you don't mind a lack of it - then you've got plenty to talk about with most aces :)