Severely confused about myself...

[SilverCyanide]

I'm sixteen this year, female and straight and all around me people have been getting into romantic relationships. My classmate's seeing a guy, my friends are gushing over how cute a KPop idol is and I'm here obsessing over my 2D anime characters.

Is there something wrong with me?

Let me give you some more detail first. I *do* want a romantic relationship and get married one day to someone I love. I *am* curious about sex and know that I would want sex in the future, I'm not sex-repulsed in the slightest. However, I simply don't understand how one falls in love and how I would even know what love is. Do I love my parents? I suppose so, they're nothing but wonderful to me and I care about their wellbeing and happiness very much. My classmates asked me plenty of times, "Do you find any of the boys in our class hot? Who would you rather date, [A] or ?" And I always told them "No." But I do find some of the boys in my class attractive and yet I don't feel any urge or desire to get in a romantic relationship with any of them. Sure, I wonder what it feels like to kiss somebody or have sex with someone but I've never really felt the need to kiss someone to find out. I would rather abstain and wait for marriage before having sex.

On the topic of sex, I feel sexual attraction to attractive people or people I like (for example some of my friends of the opposite gender) but I don't want to have sex with them, or at least not at this age. If I see an attractive person walking down the street, I just think "Oh, that guy looks cute/hot/sexy" and that would be it. I would stop caring about that stranger completely.

I've contemplated on the issue and think that I'm either demisexual or gray ace but when I read up online, some pages list things that contradict my feelings, such as "A demisexual only feels sexual attraction to people they form a close emotional bond to." But I feel attraction to strangers who are aesthetically pleasing to me? Does that mean I'm not demisexual after all? Or is it that there's something wrong with me?

I need help on this issue, I'm so confused about this and my parents aren't helping much at all. My mother keeps telling me that demisexuality doesn't exist and it's just because I'm young. But I don't think so?

[rose~]

Dude, you're definitely not alone- I was always the one obsessing over my beloved anime characters in high school while everyone else was crushing on their peers/going on dates,and I totally didn't get it at all. Heck, that's still me in college! :)

In regards to your other words, I can say I can also relate a lot with how you feel, just not the sexual part seeing as how I'm ace. I won't say I'm not curious, I just don't feel that attraction at all. However, there is a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, and from how you've described your peers it seems that there isn't a lack of attraction necessarily, just not really a desire to form a relationship. This is totally how I felt! I always thought I was weird or maybe just unable to fall in love for quite some time. To me, it sounds like it's a possibility you may be demiromantic, which is similar to demisexual only it deals with only feeling romantic attraction/the inclination to date someone after you've formed a very close connection and really gotten to know them, like, they need to reach near best friend level first before further attraction sets in. This may or may not be the case for you, but I know after finding out about it I instantly recognized it as identifying with my feelings and felt a lot of relief. I had always wondered why all of my classmates were so crazy about crushing on strangers anyway, it just didn't seem meaningful to me. You say you do experience sexual attraction to people in general, so if I had to guess solely based on your information I'd guess you might be a demiromantic heterosexual, or at the least somewhere on the gray romantic side, though only you know you well enough to ultimately decide how to label yourself. :)

[NerotheReaper]

Nah you aren't alone, I didn't date anyone in high school really. Why, because everyone was immature and really grabby. There is no rush to get married at 18 and have kids right after that. Plus remember, high school relationships suck for many reasons the main one is not everyone will go to the same college. Don't force yourself to like anyone, you will find someone in time if you are open to it.