Jump to content

Adjusting back to being single


Talon

Recommended Posts

Hi

So I'm ace, and I say grey-romantic because it's probably pretty much true, and I recently broke up with my (sexual) boyfriend of two years. Before that he'd been my best friend for years. We broke up for various reasons, but the main one being we were both exhausted with my frequently being unsure if being with him was what I wanted anymore, me fluctuating in and out of loving him and it just wasn't worth it any more. He's a year out of college, I have one to go, and we are just at different stages in life it wasn't working. Which is a little sad, but neither of us wanted to fight to keep our relationship going, so we ended it. Him meanwhile very much still in love with me, but for whatever reason chose to let me go, and then literally walked out of my life. Asked me not to contact him, and I haven't heard a word from him at all.

I'm struggling adjusting back to this place where it is only me, just me. I have a few other very close friends, but one is also my ex's best friend (we were kind of a trio from way back, and honestly the thought of the three of us not hanging out anymore is probably the most painful one), and I don't want to make it worse for him caught between us. All my other friends that I talk to seriously are in relationships themselves, and it's painful knowing that even now, when I'm still hurting from this break up (that I initiated but still, I lost a friend) I'm not their priority, and they all have other things going on that don't involve me, or at least it feels that way because they all have someone else. I suddenly have to be enough for myself again, just on my own, which I know is probably healthier but I'm missing him being in my life. Having that person there who I know is in my corner 100% no matter what. So I feel lonely, and upset, and guilty about it, and for continually annoying my other friends and then guilty about the guilt... sigh.

I don't regret ending it because I think that was what's right for now, and I'm trying to hang on to that but being rational about it doesn't help. It just kind of really sucks. Any thoughts appreciated.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...