Wanting a good friend

[Pi(e)]

For over half a year, I dated my best friend. It wasn't perfect (they're hard to reach, polyamorous which I found hard at times, not actually a girl -which for me I suppose would be ideal in someone I'm dating-, and stuff) but we were really close (at least for most of the duration) and I really loved them.

Just over a month ago, they decided they didn't want to date me any more. They didn't even really explain why, but I figure they just didn't really like me anymore and kind of got sick of me, so what would be the point in asking. I was really heartbroken, but I had kind of seen their disinterest growing and at least I know I did everything the absolute best I could. Since it's been a month now, I've more or less moved on, which is not to say I'm over them entirely...

The thing is, they were my best friend before we started dating. Because of my romantic orientation, whatever exactly it is, it wouldn't really have been possible for it to be any other way. We're still friends, and if it were up to me we'd still be best friends, but I don't think they want that. I think that at least to some extent they're trying to cut me out (though I'm really not good at telling with things like that). So now I feel like I don't even have a close friend any more.

At this point, I think what I just want is to at least have a really close friend (hopefully a girl) who actually puts me first, and who maybe I could even see outside of school, because right now basically the only friend I see outside of school is my former camp counselor, my closest friend (other than the one I used to date), but who is 10 years older than me, and it would be nice to be close to someone my own age.

I've realized that I probably would want to date a girl at some point, but she would have to be my best friend first, and there's no one I'm close enough to I'd feel comfortable dating right now (besides the friend I did used to be dating). I really just want to make some good new friends right now, but I'm so bad at meeting people. In many ways I'm not shy: I can talk on and on even with people I've just met, but going up and introducing myself to new people terrifies me. That's was my best friend's talent.

Sorry this is really long, and I'm not sure where I'm actually going with this...

If anyone wanted to be friends that would be really cool though, and I'm general a pretty decent corespondent. Especially if you read Discworld :) I haven't been on AVEN in a while because I'm taking all honors classes in school this year, but now I'm hoping to go on more again.

[Andiamo]

Hey Pi! I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. I can't promise I'm what you're looking for in a friend (though I am female I'm not a girl, I haven't read Discworld, and I live nowhere near you), but I always love making new friends, so PM me if you want! Even if it's not me, I hope you're able to find a good friend here.

[n.triteleia]

Heyo! I'm always looking for friends. I'm a girl through and through, but I've never read Discworld. (Should I?) I'm so sorry that you went through that, and I'm here to talk if you need to vent to someone. PM me! (I even live kind of close to you, I go to school in upstate-ish NY and live in CT about an hour north of NYC.)