Dysphorias about internal anatomy

[Lou42]

Hello people!

So just a quick disclaimer, I want to talk about anatomy, and possibly genitals, so this topic may be a bit graphic. I don't know if maybe we should use [~ spoiler] [~ /spoiler] for descriptive parts and stuff? Tell me what you think.

So I recently discovered that I have dysphoria about not having a prostate. It's really weird because I have absolutely no dysphoria about my genitals otherwise, I don't feel like I should have a penis for example, it's just that every time I think about my internal anatomy, I feel really dysphoric when I "realise" that I don't have a prostate. And it's not even that I wish I could ejaculate or anything linked to the biological function of the organ, so I have a hard time making sense of that dysphoria...

I think for me this organ is a very important part of male anatomy and it just feels like it's an organ I should have.

And on the contrary, I have gender euphoria about having a uterus vagina and clitoris, so I particularly don't know how those 2 feelings work together...

So yeah, I wanted to know if anyone else has this kind of anatomical dysphoria(s) and how you make sense of it? I'm particularly interested in hearing about trans men experiences concerning prostates.

[Elia]

Having an uterus is the WORST! As far as body dysphoria goes, that's probably what causes me the most pain. Even thinking about it makes me shudder. Apparently my brain parses uteri as invariably Woman.

God damn it, brain.

I'm confused-dysphoric about my vagina too, but not nearly as much as about my uterus.

[Lou42]

Having an uterus is the WORST! As far as body dysphoria goes, that's probably what causes me the most pain. Even thinking about it makes me shudder. Apparently my brain parses uteri as invariably Woman.

God damn it, brain.

I'm confused-dysphoric about my vagina too, but not nearly as much as about my uterus.

Well I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with this kind of dysphoria... ^^'

Are you dysphoric about the bodily functions linked to your uterus (like mens and shit) or is it specifically the idea that you have one that makes you most dysphoric? (If I may ask)

I heard that there are pretty good options for hysterectomy nowadays. You may know about it already but you should check out Micah's blog Neutrois Nonsense.

[Elia]

Well I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with this kind of dysphoria... ^^'

Are you dysphoric about the bodily functions linked to your uterus (like mens and shit) or is it specifically the idea that you have one that makes you most dysphoric? (If I may ask)

I heard that there are pretty good options for hysterectomy nowadays. You may know about it already but you should check out Micah's blog Neutrois Nonsense.

I'd probably be okay with it if it wasn't working. It's the fact that my body is equipped to become pregnant that's killing me. If it weren't functioning I wouldn't have an issue with it.

I'd love to get one, but unfortunately I'm not out (and I've been told that nonbinary people here are out of luck in terms of legal options anyway), which means I can't get it paid by insurance and I don't have the money. And apparently it's nigh impossible here to find a doctor willing to do it for a younger person. "Something something you'll want children someday." <_< Same for sterilisation.

[Starbogen]

If I think about it, I have dysphoria about all my genitals and internal sex organs and it's much more that I wish what I have was all gone than that I strongly wish I had the opposite. Though I definitely woulnd't be opposed to having a penis and the rest of the male organs, but I try not to think about this too much because I'll never be able to have it in the way I would want so I'm afraid of wanting it too much.

I'm thinking bottom dysphoria might actually be a big reason as to why I would never want to have sex and can't imagine myself having sex, rather than being asexual. Because if I just imagine myself with fully male genitals and internal stuff then suddenly the idea of sex it's completely fine and can even be enjoyable.

I don't know if I feel like I "should" have any particular genitalia, I just know the thought of having female ones is very disturbing to me and makes me feel really bad and just "wrong", while the idea of male ones is either neutral or positive in my mind.

[Calligraphette_Coe]

So I recently discovered that I have dysphoria about not having a prostate. It's really weird because I have absolutely no dysphoria about my genitals otherwise, I don't feel like I should have a penis for example, it's just that every time I think about my internal anatomy, I feel really dysphoric when I "realise" that I don't have a prostate. And it's not even that I wish I could ejaculate or anything linked to the biological function of the organ, so I have a hard time making sense of that dysphoria...

I think for me this organ is a very important part of male anatomy and it just feels like it's an organ I should have.

And on the contrary, I have gender euphoria about having a uterus vagina and clitoris, so I particularly don't know how those 2 feelings work together...

So yeah, I wanted to know if anyone else has this kind of anatomical dysphoria(s) and how you make sense of it? I'm particularly interested in hearing about trans men experiences concerning prostates.

Just as many XX folks would love to be rid of a uterus, I wouldn't mind being rid of my rather troublesome prostate. But, I know what you're saying about the dysphoria. And maybe this will help-- you actually already have two things that are homologous to a prostate gland: the Skene's gland and the Bartholin's gland. So you actually almost get a 2fer.

The latter is responsible for lubrication, the former is said to be the source of a small amount of fluid during orgasm. I don't know if that helps? But sooo many things that nature has done with our configurations are to not start all over again, but to slightly adapt existing structures for slightly different purposes by the magic of differentiation. Mars and Venus may not be all that far apart after all.....

[Finn.]

TMI content, obvs:

I sometimes remember I don't have a prostate and am bummed =) I comfort myself with the thought, that basically, afab people have prostates too, they're just a bit different.

I still wouldn't want to have a penis. I don't really like them on other people, and I don't want one on my body, that would be so strange. I would prefer to have smaller outer labias. I don't know, sometimes it feels like I have a whole lot of genitalia going on (which is ridiculous). But I'm happy with having a vagina and clitoris. Overall I have become way more comfortable with myself over the past two years.

Also, phalloplasty is so complicated and takes so long. I know someone that is having one, and it's four operations in total. The first one was horrible for him, it took forever for him to comfortably sit (and shower, and pee) again. In August he had the second one and now he's got issues with his nerves in his arm, where they took the skin graft. And it's a huge scar.