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am I gay bi or asexual?


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I'm just curious. I had a sexual relationship with a guy when I was 15. But only like a few times. But I'm now 21 and have rarely been interested in anyone. At the time I kind of felt like I didn't like women so I must be gay but that didn't really materialize. I generally find guys and girls attractive kind of equally but I don't really want to have sex with anyone. Does that mean I'm just a gay guy or actually asexual with a gay past or bisexual? Advice?

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Welcome to AVEN! :cake::cake::cake:

Ultimately, adopting any label is up to you and you alone. But here are a few thoughts:

Sexuality is/can be fluid: just because you had sexual relations in the past does not mean you are still a sexual person. If you currently feel that you identify more as an asexual, then that's the label you use for now.

Romantic orientation is/can be fluid. Also, analyse your idea of attraction. If both girls and boys seem attractive, then you are probably biromantic or panromantic; if you find both boys and girls equally attractive but are not attracted to them per say, then you might be more aromantic.

Hope that helps a bit!

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Welcome to AVEN! :cake::cake::cake:

Ultimately, adopting any label is up to you and you alone. But here are a few thoughts:

Sexuality is/can be fluid: just because you had sexual relations in the past does not mean you are still a sexual person. If you currently feel that you identify more as an asexual, then that's the label you use for now.

Romantic orientation is/can be fluid. Also, analyse your idea of attraction. If both girls and boys seem attractive, then you are probably biromantic or panromantic; if you find both boys and girls equally attractive but are not attracted to them per say, then you might be more aromantic.

Hope that helps a bit!

I haven't had sex since I was 15. So currently I live a sexless life and I don't really want to change that there's no one I'd want to have a sexual relationship with. I have never had lustful thoughts about women. In any sense of the word. That's why I thought I was gay. And afterwards I thought I was gay because I liked the sex with him. But I haven't wanted to be with another guy since basically. My lifestyle is asexual because I haven't had sex and honestly hardly think about it personally. And when I do I don't think about it in reference to myself like it's not exactly an enjoyable thought.

I meant more like in a nonsexual way both women and men are attractive. But it's more like pleasing to my eyes both are. Not one over the other. I haven't ever formed a relationship with anyone in the romantic sense and never really wanted to. But I might be a tad autistic so maybe that's why not sure.

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It is possible to be homo, bi or whatever else romantic and be asexual. You can explore and use any of these labels if you think that they fit you.

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