emxo Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 I am a female and for about a year I have been genderfluid, but every few months I am confused and want to be trans and become a male. However, I class myself as a genderfluid feminist and masculinist. I work out to gain muscle and I where male clothes everyday because that is what I feel comfortable in. I also enjoy wearing make up because I dont have the guts to go out without make up because I am so used to it but I like to identify as male. It's like I am a male but in the wrong body but if I was a male in general then I would be a male feminist because I would wear make up? I'm so confused, can anyone relate to this or help me? I have been so uncomfortable and unhappy with myself because I am so confused and I have no idea who I am. Thanks guys! XD Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 Hey emxo. I'm not non-binary or trans, so my opinion on this matter might not be too helpful, but here's my two cents. How bad is the dysphoria? If it's really bad, I would suggest you at least look into transitioning. You say you are genderfluid, so if I were you, I would think long and hard about what the next step should be. I say this because right now you feel male, but maybe in a few months you'll feel the opposite. I'm not trying to discourage you from transitioning or anything, ultimately if you feel transitioning is the right thing to do for yourself, go for it. Like I said, think long about this because I don't want you to start transitioning, then in a few months feel totally different about your gender identity and start feeling uncomfortable and unhappy with your body. But looking into transitioning and researching the pros and cons, in my opinion, is a good idea. I hope I was some help. Like I said, I'm cisgendered and I can't relate, but I hope I was helpful. The Trans community and non-binary community on here probably can give better advice then I can. Link to post Share on other sites
emxo Posted September 28, 2016 Author Share Posted September 28, 2016 Thank you Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet. Your advice was helpful, any advice really will help me along the way because I just need as much help and advice as I can get to be honest! XD Link to post Share on other sites
Chardog Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 Feeling male but still wanting to wear makeup, feminine clothes, etc doesn't negate you possibly being trans.. Link to post Share on other sites
Antihero. Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 It's like I am a male but in the wrong body but if I was a male in general then I would be a male feminist because I would wear make up? I'm so confused, can anyone relate to this or help me? What does wearing make-up has to do with that cancerous political ideology? Regardless of being male or female wearing make-up does not make you a cult member. A female friend of mine wears make-up, tons of it actually and fortunately she isn't a feminist, she is an anti-feminist. Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 It's like I am a male but in the wrong body but if I was a male in general then I would be a male feminist because I would wear make up? I'm so confused, can anyone relate to this or help me? What does wearing make-up has to do with that cancerous political ideology? Regardless of being male or female wearing make-up does not make you a cult member. A female friend of mine wears make-up, tons of it actually and fortunately she isn't a feminist, she is an anti-feminist. I don't think they meant feminist as in political ideology but rather as in femininity. They also used the word "masculinist" as in masculine I assume. I also think that judgement like this doesn't belong in the gender forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 Maybe ask yourself what's your preference? For example, to figure out if you do feel more male or if you still feel genderfluid try examining what you like best when it comes to how other people see you and how you see yourself. If someone sees you as female are you indifferent? Do you like it sometimes and hate it other times? Or do you dislike it all the time? Same for when you're seen as male. And what is your ideal when it comes to your body? Do you want it to look female sometimes and male other times or would you rather it always looked male and never female? Do you ever think "I want to be/I like being (some way or thing that aligns with femaleness)"? What about the opposite, do you ever feel that way about male things? Which one do you prefer, if any, or do you really just switch between the two? Anyway, I'm just trans and not genderfluid but those are some questions that I used on some level when trying to figure things out, and I think they give you some perspective on what you want and prefer, plus that way you can compare sort of how much you identify with maleness or femaleness. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 Thank you Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet. Your advice was helpful, any advice really will help me along the way because I just need as much help and advice as I can get to be honest! XD No problem! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Antihero. Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 It's like I am a male but in the wrong body but if I was a male in general then I would be a male feminist because I would wear make up? I'm so confused, can anyone relate to this or help me? What does wearing make-up has to do with that cancerous political ideology? Regardless of being male or female wearing make-up does not make you a cult member. A female friend of mine wears make-up, tons of it actually and fortunately she isn't a feminist, she is an anti-feminist. I don't think they meant feminist as in political ideology but rather as in femininity. They also used the word "masculinist" as in masculine I assume. I also think that judgement like this doesn't belong in the gender forum. Emxo wrote feminist and feminism is an ideology. I’ve never heard anyone using 'feminist' as a synonym for 'feminine' before and as far as I know it isn’t one. So why would emxo write feminist then? It doesn’t make sense to me but if emxo meant feminine my post shouldn’t be of any concern anyway. I also didn’t judge emxo as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Dodecahedron314 Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 It's like I am a male but in the wrong body but if I was a male in general then I would be a male feminist because I would wear make up? I'm so confused, can anyone relate to this or help me? What does wearing make-up has to do with that cancerous political ideology? Regardless of being male or female wearing make-up does not make you a cult member. A female friend of mine wears make-up, tons of it actually and fortunately she isn't a feminist, she is an anti-feminist. I don't think they meant feminist as in political ideology but rather as in femininity. They also used the word "masculinist" as in masculine I assume. I also think that judgement like this doesn't belong in the gender forum. Emxo wrote feminist and feminism is an ideology. I’ve never heard anyone using 'feminist' as a synonym for 'feminine' before and as far as I know it isn’t one. So why would emxo write feminist then? It doesn’t make sense to me but if emxo meant feminine my post shouldn’t be of any concern anyway. I also didn’t judge emxo as a person. It's possible to mistype words with autocorrect, commit malapropisms, have English as a second/third/etc. language, and any other number of simple mistakes or extenuating circumstances that could lead to someone unintentionally saying something that comes across as slightly different from what they meant. The issue here is with your unnecessary judgemental statements regarding feminism, which are irrelevant to the topic of the thread. If you'd like to debate ideology, that's what PPS and Hot Box are for. Now, regarding the original topic of the thread: emxo, it's worth keeping in mind that your presentation doesn't have any impact on your gender identity. If you identify as male and would like a more masculine body type, but also like to wear makeup, that's perfectly fine! I agree with Garnet that if you feel dysphoric about how your body is now, transitioning so that you're more comfortable with yourself physically might be something to look into, but it's also certainly not a requirement, especially if you feel as though it would only match what you're feeling some of the time. Undoubtedly, every aspect of this is up to you, and each one is independent from the other, so it's certainly possible to figure out what changes in terms of yourself and your body would make you feel the best about yourself and do those things, but not do other things if they wouldn't serve the purpose of making you more comfortable. No matter what you decide, we're here for you, and I welcome you to find a place for yourself here if you choose to do so. Cake and sushi on your gender journey! Link to post Share on other sites
Antihero. Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 It's possible to mistype words with autocorrect, commit malapropisms, have English as a second/third/etc. language, and any other number of simple mistakes or extenuating circumstances that could lead to someone unintentionally saying something that comes across as slightly different from what they meant. The issue here is with your unnecessary judgemental statements regarding feminism, which are irrelevant to the topic of the thread. If you'd like to debate ideology, that's what PPS and Hot Box are for. Alright dude, calm down. I’ve already said if they meant feminine they should just ignore what I wrote altogether. Granted, I judged that ideology. I didn’t start a discussion about it though. You’re overreacting. Link to post Share on other sites
emxo Posted September 29, 2016 Author Share Posted September 29, 2016 I just want to say that I am really sorry to cause such conflict. I'm not very good with my words and I just needed help with my gender.. I dont know the ins and outs of everything and I hope you all can understand that, I am only young and its just a really stressful thing to go through at the moment. Thank you Chardog, Antihero, Finn, Liebelit and Dodecahedron314 for your help and advice! XD Link to post Share on other sites
Heart Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Hey emxo, I'm sorry I'm late to this thread. Please don't worry about the conflict, you didn't cause it at all. I hope you can come to feel comfortable here; everyone is welcome, especially those who are confused about gender! Genderfluid means that your gender changes over time. I'm genderfluid myself; there are weeks when I feel like a woman, and weeks when I feel like a man, but also weeks where I feel like neither. I often don't change my appearance much, because I'm lazy, but I could if I wanted to. I personally change gender on a time scale of weeks or months, and it's unpredictable. But some people change gender daily, or only every few years. Anything like that still counts as genderfluid. Does that describe how you feel at all? There is also nonbinary gender. It means anything that's not purely man or purely woman. If you don't feel like you are a woman or a man, but rather a mix or something completely different, then maybe this label fits. The difference with this and genderfluid is that genderfluid people's gender changes, but nonbinary people's gender doesn't have to. It is a general term that includes all genders that aren't man or woman (so it also includes genderfluid, you could be both if you want to use both terms). Another thing you can maybe look into is the gender androgyne. It means a mix of man and woman. Or you could be a man. Do those definitions help? Please feel free to ask more questions, and I'm sorry again that it took me so long to respond. I was busy all weekend and I'm still catching up :( and welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
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