Would like some help.

[ReflectiveAgnew]

Hello,

im not sure whether i'm wasting your guys time but i would like some input on my situation.

basically, im in my teens and have been struggling with quite strong sexual thoughts and desires towards females (im male btw) since i was about 13, which has led me sadly towards use of online pornography and such, which in turn has always made me rather depressed and even suicidal after use.

but the reason i get depressed after use of pornography is because i as a person HATE everything about sex.

the difficulty is that i would always describe myself as being a very logically thinking, morally sound person who thinks of sexuality and sex as a bit of a waste of time, and usually always do.

infact, if i could magically lose all sexual feelings and desires, i would gladly accept. But sometimes i suddenly have waves of feelings where i instantly want to use pornography, and when i do i get rather disgusted at both the material and myself for using it.

so my predicament is that i seem to go from someone who rather hates sex and would classify themself as a basic asexual, to someone with very strong libido and sexual desire.

im sorry if ive wasted any of your time or used any wrong wording etc, but any sort of advice would be greatly useful.

-ReflectiveAgnew

[tgif]

I'm not allowed to label you, only you can do that, but- to me, you don't seem asexual. You seem like you wish you were asexual, and that's not the same thing because you're experiencing sexual desire, which is something asexuals don't experience. I know what you mean though. I identify as asexual and I'm proud of it- because I think sex can be pretty messed up. So it is quite possible for you to be sexual and just not like it.

That's just my opinion, but of course only you can make the call for your own identity, and it may change over time. I'm a teen girl myself, and over the last few weeks I've been doing oodles of research on asexuality and now feel really comfortable in my own skin. It's worth looking into, even if you aren't sure, just to educate yourself. :)

[Confusion 0]

Don't worry about wasting anyone's time; anyone is welcome here! ^_^

You sound just like me when I was your age. I was very easily aroused, and would have sexual fantasies all the time. I never watched porn though, since the thought of doing so disgusted me. I tried my best to suppress and control my sexual urges, but still had to relieve myself sometimes several times a day. I hated it, but I couldn't control myself.

But, as puberty came to a gradual end, so did most of my sexual feelings. I mean, I still have sexual feelings and desires, but they no longer drive me to do things that disgust me.

Not sure what else to add, but I hope I was helpful.

[Star Bit]

basically, im in my teens and have been struggling with quite strong sexual thoughts and desires towards females (im male btw) since i was about 13...

Sounds pretty normal.

which has led me sadly towards use of online pornography and such

And this most certainly is normal.

so my predicament is that i seem to go from someone who rather hates sex and would classify themself as a basic asexual, to someone with very strong libido and sexual desire.

But that's not asexual; asexuals do not desire sex. You seem to have libido dysphoria/ be a sex repulsed sexual. This is under the Gray-sexual/Gray-asexual umbrella. I'm not sure how well psychologists can help with this kind of dysphoria but it may be something worth looking into.

[ReflectiveAgnew]

hey, thanks guys for being rather kind,

i should say also that i suffer from ocd amongst other things, which generally can make me very scared of hurting people, sex, violence, etc, which probably contributes largely to my fear of sex but still having feelings etc...

Anyway, i suppose ill just try to relax a bit and try not to get to upset about things.

thanks for the helpful replies :) - Agnew