Guest Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 No desire for the sexual things mainly, or to view others in a sexual light. Like, generalized desire, yes, for me at least being sexual, but not current. Like the emotions and other attractions are part of the screening process and the sexual side might come eventually if things work out. When I have felt attracted to someone, thinking of them in a specifically sexual light has always felt foreign. (I've never gotten closer to someone than a crush.) Apparently this is typical for women. Link to post Share on other sites
emma-can Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me. Actually now that I'm looking at this again I think I'm wrong. The ones that I thought I related to were #5 (getting flustered) and #9 (talking softly) but the way they describe it actually is pretty different from how I experience it. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Like the emotions and other attractions are part of the screening process and the sexual side might come eventually if things work out. That's not so far from how most sexuals think, except the 'do I fancy them?' is part of the screening process too. At least for anything more committed than FWB. Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 Yeah, well, asexuals are not all the same, so why would sexuals? I am just thinking about the heart pounding bit. If you're sociophobic and your heart starts racing madly while talking to somebody it usually means you want to run. Then I try to act strategically, meaning that I am near the next exit. And I want a room. A room where I am alone and safe where I linger more than I have to because it's empty apart from me. What does this have to do with sociopathy? Nothing, and nobody mentioned sociopathy. Oh, sociophoic, I'm not sure how I misread that. Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me. Well, they're written in an unambiguously sexual way but the basic concepts don't have to be sexual. A romantic asexual might not be able to keep their eyes off their crush but that doesn't mean they would ever want to have sex.(I'm not speaking from experience here but that's the idea I get from what people have written on this site) Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me.Well, they're written in an unambiguously sexual way but the basic concepts don't have to be sexual. A romantic asexual might not be able to keep their eyes off their crush but that doesn't mean they would ever want to have sex. Yes, that's how I felt. I thought he was beautiful. (Actually he was; friends agreed.) Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me. It's pretty easy to tell when you are undergoing these "signs" yet you are feeling nothing even remotely resembling a sexual response. Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 They all seem like sexual physiology responding to someone - drawn to be closer, physical arousal (in the sense of increased heart rate) - on an unconscious level. Whether or not you emotionally/psychology want to have sex with them, your body's doing all the same stuff a sexual's would. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 Well, that last bit there is a rather important difference ;) Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 True - it seems mysterious to me though, if someone's finding someone attractive aesthetically and personally, and their body is reacting physiologically in the same way as a sexual, to not think 'I'd love to have sex with this person'. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 The body and mind don't always agree :( Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 The sexual version of that would be 'this person really turns me on, but actually doing anything about it would be a really bad idea because:infidelity/bad timing/busy/whatever'. Out of curiosity, how would the asexual version work? Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 I can't speak for everyone, but usually it's just that sort of happy on-a-cloud, butterflies-in-the-stomach sort of feeling that's present when getting to interact with this other particular person. It isn't anything that I would phrase as being "turned on" Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 No, I meant what woukd be the dissonance between mind and body in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 The ones on the list I related to are #7 (worrying a little more about appearance) and #10 (especially this one, when I have a crush they get a huge bump in aesthetic attraction compared to before they were a crush). As well as finding excuses to talk to them, or be in the same room at least. It's more that my goal is to get to know them, get them to notice me, and hopefully a relationship. Sexuality would be something I view as part of a relationship, more than a goal on it's own. It's not at all interesting or alluring to me outside of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted September 24, 2016 Share Posted September 24, 2016 No, I meant what woukd be the dissonance between mind and body in this case. Ever gotten the jitters about something making you nervous, when you were telling yourself, you need to calm down and focus in order to properly get through it... but your body doesn't necessarily listen and you keep feeling jittery? It's pretty much like that... even though the body is reacting it isn't indicative of what you want. It isn't a matter of "boy, I really would want this but I won't because [moral/practical reasons]" Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 No, I meant what woukd be the dissonance between mind and body in this case. It isn't a mental conflict at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.