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13 Lusty Signs of Sexual Attraction to Keep an Eye On


Éadweard

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No desire for the sexual things mainly, or to view others in a sexual light.

Like, generalized desire, yes, for me at least being sexual, but not current. Like the emotions and other attractions are part of the screening process and the sexual side might come eventually if things work out. When I have felt attracted to someone, thinking of them in a specifically sexual light has always felt foreign. (I've never gotten closer to someone than a crush.) Apparently this is typical for women.

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How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me.

Actually now that I'm looking at this again I think I'm wrong. The ones that I thought I related to were #5 (getting flustered) and #9 (talking softly) but the way they describe it actually is pretty different from how I experience it.

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Like the emotions and other attractions are part of the screening process and the sexual side might come eventually if things work out.

That's not so far from how most sexuals think, except the 'do I fancy them?' is part of the screening process too. At least for anything more committed than FWB.

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Yeah, well, asexuals are not all the same, so why would sexuals?

I am just thinking about the heart pounding bit. If you're sociophobic and your heart starts racing madly while talking to somebody it usually means you want to run. Then I try to act strategically, meaning that I am near the next exit. And I want a room. A room where I am alone and safe where I linger more than I have to because it's empty apart from me.

What does this have to do with sociopathy?

Nothing, and nobody mentioned sociopathy.

Oh, sociophoic, I'm not sure how I misread that.

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How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me.

Well, they're written in an unambiguously sexual way but the basic concepts don't have to be sexual. A romantic asexual might not be able to keep their eyes off their crush but that doesn't mean they would ever want to have sex.(I'm not speaking from experience here but that's the idea I get from what people have written on this site)

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How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me.

Well, they're written in an unambiguously sexual way but the basic concepts don't have to be sexual. A romantic asexual might not be able to keep their eyes off their crush but that doesn't mean they would ever want to have sex.

Yes, that's how I felt. I thought he was beautiful. (Actually he was; friends agreed.)

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How can you tell? They're all unambiguously sexual to me.

It's pretty easy to tell when you are undergoing these "signs" yet you are feeling nothing even remotely resembling a sexual response.

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They all seem like sexual physiology responding to someone - drawn to be closer, physical arousal (in the sense of increased heart rate) - on an unconscious level. Whether or not you emotionally/psychology want to have sex with them, your body's doing all the same stuff a sexual's would.

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Well, that last bit there is a rather important difference ;)

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True - it seems mysterious to me though, if someone's finding someone attractive aesthetically and personally, and their body is reacting physiologically in the same way as a sexual, to not think 'I'd love to have sex with this person'.

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The body and mind don't always agree :(

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The sexual version of that would be 'this person really turns me on, but actually doing anything about it would be a really bad idea because:infidelity/bad timing/busy/whatever'. Out of curiosity, how would the asexual version work?

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I can't speak for everyone, but usually it's just that sort of happy on-a-cloud, butterflies-in-the-stomach sort of feeling that's present when getting to interact with this other particular person. It isn't anything that I would phrase as being "turned on"

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The ones on the list I related to are #7 (worrying a little more about appearance) and #10 (especially this one, when I have a crush they get a huge bump in aesthetic attraction compared to before they were a crush). As well as finding excuses to talk to them, or be in the same room at least.

It's more that my goal is to get to know them, get them to notice me, and hopefully a relationship. Sexuality would be something I view as part of a relationship, more than a goal on it's own. It's not at all interesting or alluring to me outside of that.

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No, I meant what woukd be the dissonance between mind and body in this case.

Ever gotten the jitters about something making you nervous, when you were telling yourself, you need to calm down and focus in order to properly get through it... but your body doesn't necessarily listen and you keep feeling jittery?

It's pretty much like that... even though the body is reacting it isn't indicative of what you want. It isn't a matter of "boy, I really would want this but I won't because [moral/practical reasons]"

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No, I meant what woukd be the dissonance between mind and body in this case.

It isn't a mental conflict at all.

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