Telecaster68 Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 It sounds more like the OP's boyfriend is saying 'you describe yourself as asexual, but your actions don't match that self image, are you sure about that self image?', which is completely fair enough about anything in a relationship. If one person was saying 'I'm a really hard worker' and their partner pointed out it seemed they persistently did as little work as they could get away with, it would be the same kind of thing. I cannot imagine a single relationship scenario where person A is saying "this is how I feel" and person B is saying "no, you're wrong" and we're supposed to be thinking this is actually indicative of a healthy relationship. He's not saying she's wrong about her feelings, he's saying her words and actions are inconsistent, and provided it's not done as an attack, it's perfectly fair. Most people respect their partner's intelligence, judgement, and understand that they bring something extra to their lives, and sometimes that's going to mean they have a different point of view. That's going to lead sometimes to a perfectly healthy 'hang on, you're doing x and to me, as someone who knows you well and cares about you, it sounds off. Maybe you want to think about it'. Passively accepting everything your partner - or any friend - does, isn't necessarily having either of your best interests at heart. It's tricky to pick apart here because clearly he'd like her to be sexual, but jumping on any questioning of anyone saying they're asexual, despite all observable behaviour, is going too far. Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted September 23, 2016 Share Posted September 23, 2016 Why is it so important for you to identify as ace? Link to post Share on other sites
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