Fellow demisexuals: Are you also like this in relationships?

[Aquaticlovex]

When I'm in a relationship with someone i love, any sexual and romantic feelings i feel for any other person disappears.anytime someone mentions sex it would make me think of my partner and i end up associating sex with her. is this something common?

also, when i have sexual feelings for my partner when i have one (which is usually there since the beginning - i wouldn't be in a relationship before i am already deeply connected with them)... they are really intense. and all my sexual energy revolving around her. is this the case for other demisexual people?

[dissolved]

Yup, sounds like me.

Everything links back to my girlfriend, I find new associations every day, and just when I think there's a hint of something in another person that I find interesting, I realise it's actually because it reminds me of my girlfriend :P

I've found that my feelings - especially those that are sexual based - get more intense as time goes on.

[NerudaLovePoem]

Yeah, definitely. If someone mentions sex when I'm not in a relationship and I picture it I'm mildly grossed out. When I'm in a relationship I think of my partner and how much I like being that close to them.

[Isak]

Yes, same here.

[WhenSummersGone]

Same with me as well. All the attention is on my partner and I know I wouldn't cheat but I also feel I can't.

[Slayerin96]

I'm an aromantic demisexual, but the sexual energy thing is definitely the case with me. I only find sex great with the boy I desire, otherwise it varies from weirding me out to leaving me cold. I can't possibly imagine myself sharing my body with anyone other than him.

[scarletlatitude]

This is partly why I might be demi. I thought that all sexuals thought this way. But if I did have a partner, I absolutely would only desire that person and no one else.

[TheDemi_Urge]

On 9/18/2016 at 11:17 PM, Aquaticlovex said:

When I'm in a relationship with someone i love, any sexual and romantic feelings i feel for any other person disappears.anytime someone mentions sex it would make me think of my partner and i end up associating sex with her. is this something common?

also, when i have sexual feelings for my partner when i have one (which is usually there since the beginning - i wouldn't be in a relationship before i am already deeply connected with them)... they are really intense. and all my sexual energy revolving around her. is this the case for other demisexual people?

It's the case for me too  more or less...actually I can still have very very faint feelings of romantic attraction to others like "oh they might be nice to date too but eh they're not my partner" and it generally fades after a while; however my partner elicits very very strong feelings of love from me - I get all excited and happy whenever I see them or think of them like a little puppy and if a romantic/sexual situation happens in a film I imagine it with us two.

[Ettina]

I think most people have that with romantic feelings, but not sexual feelings. Even in cases of 'romantic infidelity', where the person is cheating with someone they're romantically attracted to, usually before the cheating started they'd fallen out of love with their partner. The big exception to this are polyamorous people.

 

Sexual attraction to people other than your partner are pretty common, though, even though most people don't act on them. So I'd say if you feel sexual attraction only for your partner, it's probably related to being demisexual.