My sexuality is weird.. ? What do you guys thinkm

[Aquaticlovex]

At first I thought I was demisexual - but I realized not quite. Basically, I only feel sexual attraction torwards someone I have strong romantic feelings for or are in love with. For me it can't just be someone I have a close emotional bond with. It did happen once with a former best friend (who later became my partner - but i broke up when he cheated ) but I liked him more than a friend a lot. Also, I can't stand porn and the thought of hooking up with someone is gross to me.. for me sex is an expression of love. Also when i feel it for a partner, I can't imagine feeling it for anyone else. I've tried after we broke up but I just cant, it doesn't feel good or do anything for me. Only recently have I discovered demisexuality but I don't know if I'm technically demi or not. What do you guys think? Can anyone else relate to this ? I never once met someone like this. I also would really prefer if i had a partner who was like this as well. And i dont have normal sexual fantasies.. except something like having a girlfriend (I'm a bi female by the way) that i have a deep love with.. and imagining romantic dates and intimate settings that lead to sex but as an intense expression of love and connection.. and that's how I felt about sex In the two relationships I've been in. Am I really unusual? I've never met anyone else like this.

[JacTheSpaceAce]

To me it sounds like you could be demisexual, but maybe there's some sub class that you better fit. I wouldn't say you are unusual, just that you haven't found anyone like you yet. My suggestion would be to keep looking into different types of demisexuality until you find one that does fit.

In the end, you're the only one who can decide your sexuality. Good luck, and I hope you find what you're looking for!

[paraka321]

I don't think you're unusual at all. In a similar way that allosexual people aren't sexually attracted to everyone of their preferred sex (hetero/homo/bi/pan/poly) you don't have to be sexually attracted to every person you have a close emotional bond with. To me this sound like demisexual, but I can't make that decision for you :)

[nanogretchen4]

In my opinion if you have to know someone for a long time before you have romantic and sexual feelings for them, and you also can't predict in advance who you will develop these feelings for, that sounds demisexual and very similar to my own situation. If you develop romantic feelings for people pretty regularly within a normal dating timeframe, that's common enough that you may not need a label to describe it. I feel like the label becomes most useful if conventional dating strategies are just completely unworkable for you, or you need an explanation for extraordinarily long "dry spells". In my case it always takes me over a year and often several years to develop feelings for a new person and I don't know who it will be. There are sometimes periods of many years when I don't have those feelings for anyone. That seems a little different from what I see most of the people I know going through, yeah. On the other hand if someone is happily married it's easy to not notice if they're demisexual, which complicates questions about how unusual that is.

[Aquaticlovex]

nanogretchen4, It's somewhere in the middle for me. After getting to know someone I can start to have romantic interest. However, sexual interest particularly never occurs except when I'm in love and have a partner.. and then I just can't feel it for anyone but them. It's a weird thing.

[Aquaticlovex]

I don't think you're unusual at all. In a similar way that allosexual people aren't sexually attracted to everyone of their preferred sex (hetero/homo/bi/pan/poly) you don't have to be sexually attracted to every person you have a close emotional bond with. To me this sound like demisexual, but I can't make that decision for you :)

yeah, maybe. :) But I'm still not sure.

[Aquaticlovex]

To me it sounds like you could be demisexual, but maybe there's some sub class that you better fit. I wouldn't say you are unusual, just that you haven't found anyone like you yet. My suggestion would be to keep looking into different types of demisexuality until you find one that does fit.

In the end, you're the only one who can decide your sexuality. Good luck, and I hope you find what you're looking for!

Do you know of any other of these subsets? And yeah I've been looking into it, just not seeming to find any others. And LOL I love the little cake symbol!

[mikeman7918]

Although I can't fully back this up, it wouldn't surprise me if demisexuality were on a spectrum. I see no reason why all demisexuals would need the same level of attatchment before they felt sexual attraction towards a person, what's more likely is that some demisexuals would need more attatchment then others and that you are just on the higher end.

[JacTheSpaceAce]

I would suggest looking into this thread: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/It has a bunch of more specific definitions and different types of asexuality.

Although I can't fully back this up, it wouldn't surprise me if demisexuality were on a spectrum. I see no reason why all demisexuals would need the same level of attatchment before they felt sexual attraction towards a person, what's more likely is that some demisexuals would need more attatchment then others and that you are just on the higher end.

I agree.

[Snao Cone]

If feel like you're somewhere between demisexuality and more...well, for a lack of a better term, more readily sexual, then I think you can choose whichever of those you want. Demisexuality isn't a sexual orientation; it's just an explanation of your pattern of sexual attraction. I don't think your sexual attraction pattern is at all weird or unusual, though. :)

[livinginmid]

A good read. Skip the first few paragraphs to get to the bits that more relate to OP.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/19/asexual-relationships_n_3362206.html?1371648830

And if you're feeling like reading more.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/17/asexuality-the-x-in-a-sexual-world_n_3444417.html?utm_hp_ref=tw