RickyRicardo1838 Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Hello I'm new to this forum. I was wondering if there is a specific reason as to why I don't get crushes anymore. Im still attracted to girls but the last time I had a crush was when I was in the 5th grade.I think it could possibly be that I haven't had any female friends for the past 3 years, (all of middle school). What do yall think? (I'm 14 if that helps) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nanogretchen4 Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 I agree. It sounds like you aren't getting to know any girls well enough to know if they are crush worthy. Maybe you should focus on making friends for now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 To add to what Gretchen said, you also might not experience crushes consistently. I've recently come out of a five year period during which I didn't experience any... dunno. Everyone's different! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ruqiah Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Could be multitude of reasons. Maybe it's because you're still young. Maybe you haven't found anyone worth crushing on. Maybe you're aro (or somewhere near that end of the spectrum). If this bothers you, spend more time with females and see if it happens again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 I agree that there are many reasons why you might not be experiencing crushes right now. In general though, I would say most likely there's nothing really wrong with a lack of crushes, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. If more crushes come, then that's great, but if not, that's okay too. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Would you want to crush on someone? Welcome to AVEN Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RickyRicardo1838 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Share Posted September 5, 2016 Honestly I wouldn't want to crush on someone. I was just curious if there is any specific reason as to why I dont get crushes. The question came to me since my friends always ask who I like. They somehow get a crush on someone by looking at them. I just didn't understand that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RickyRicardo1838 Posted September 5, 2016 Author Share Posted September 5, 2016 Honestly I wouldn't want to crush on someone. I was just curious if there is any specific reason as to why I dont get crushes. The question came to me since my friends always ask who I like. They somehow get a crush on someone by looking at them. I just didn't understand that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tholomyes Posted September 6, 2016 Share Posted September 6, 2016 It's hard to say why, without more information. It could be asexuality-related, or it could be something else. Some asexual people don't get crushes based on physical appearance, while some can. It could be that you're aromantic, or somewhere along that line (I know you said you are attracted to girls, but I also know how I was almost positive I wasn't asexual because, among other things, I had internalized much of what I saw about relationships in movies and tv). It could be that you don't have much of a chance, since you mentioned you haven't had any female friends in three years. It could also be the cause of some sort of mental illness, such as depression: I know I didn't have any crushes for most of my college days because of my own depression, so something similar could be happening with you. Overall, I think the answer requires a degree of introspection, since I don't think anyone but yourself can determine which of these (or some other reason) it is: You say you don't really want to crush on someone, so try to unravel why that might be; make some female friends, for a start, and see if that changes anything. Anyway, I hope you find the answers that you seek. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RickyRicardo1838 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Share Posted September 6, 2016 Thanks alot for the response. I think it could be all the reasons you said. Although Im not completely sure if I'm depressed, I have been feeling very depressed at times when i'm not distracted with something such as entertainment. I'll definitely try making female friends, or actually making friend's period, since I don't have any to be honest. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 I guess there's nothing you could do about crushes. It's not a conscious decision, after all. Either it's happening or it's not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Inactive123 Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 (edited) I've been having the same problem. Haven't had a crush in, like, a year. Edited April 18, 2019 by Inactive123 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Veaeve Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Ok, let me just start by saying...wow. I have the exact same freaking issue. I started having crushes pretty young and really frequent. There was not a time when I didn't have a crush on a dude at one time. This went up to fifth grade and then once I started 6th grade (middle school) everything stopped. I had two guys interested in me and I was just not into either of them...I knew they were the type I always went for and I had always wanted someone to be interested in me but this time...I just couldnt....I didn't last more than a week romantically with them and felt nothing during that time. Now its been two years and I'm 14 about to start high school and I'm....terrified. I want to fall in love and get married and have a best friend that I have this hot intense love for but I'm so fearfull it won't happen! Its so hard when all you want to feel is anything at all but your body and mind just aren't in it! I can't give you an answer (if you're still wondering). But I can tell you that I relate to you on a crazy fucking level and you ARE NOT ALONE. If you figured it out...Please for the love of all that is holy let me know...I need some serious guidance. I hope you see this. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pigeonchicken Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 In my opinion, maybe it's just when you started getting crushes your brain liked the new feeling and went a little overboard. Now it's just taking a break I suppose I dont think you're aro, I've been through phases of not getting crushes for a lot time before, but then I'll plunge straight back into being all over everyone. However if you choose to use that label then it's up to you! Good luck! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pigeonchicken Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Just now, pigeonchicken said: In my opinion, maybe it's just when you started getting crushes your brain liked the new feeling and went a little overboard. Now it's just taking a break I suppose I dont think you're aro, I've been through phases of not getting crushes for a lot time before, but then I'll plunge straight back into being all over everyone. However if you choose to use that label then it's up to you! Good luck! ...just realised how old your original post is. Well, hope all those issues are sorted now, and you're either comfortable as an aro or you're back with crushes again... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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