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Is it "too late"?


AceInDaBlackHole

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AceInDaBlackHole

I'm just beginning to wrap my mind around what I've always known, that I'm asexual.

I'm fast approaching my mid-50's and as I'm doing this, I'm overwhelmed by the multitude of things I'm consequentially realizing I missed out on, throughout my life.

I'm the type of person that either lands on her feet or works to rearrange the shape of the ground beneath her feet and build something new.

Yet, this is so massive an issue, with my memories going all the way back to as early as grade 1, that I'm having questions as to whether or not I discovered my asexuality too late to rebuild my life in a way to make it count but openly this time. I should also say that some of it has to do with having some health problems but, the mental part of it is what I'm talking about.

Has anyone else questioned things in terms of age and the "too late" thing? If so, what do you tell yourself to a) stop feeling overwhelmed and b) prevent depression from it?

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I believe "while there's life there's hope" and "it's never too late". Maybe I'm overly optimistic, but I've managed pretty well so far. I'll be 60 next month. Since I discovered asexuality several years ago I have been feeling better about myself. And I also believe that this self-knowledge (and acceptance) means that if I do form relationships (friendships, romances, etc.) they will have a better chance of being successful because I have better ideas of what I want/need, what I can give, etc.

Not sure if I'm expressing this clearly. It's past my bedtime! :lol:

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Perhaps, OP, you're discounting some things in your life that already "count", or you're overemphasizing the need to make your life count. Many sexual people don't marry or have children; it's becoming more common than it was decades ago, so if you mean those things, your asexuality may have less to do with that than you think. At this point in your life -- or perhaps any point -- you should do as much as possible what you want to do.

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I have spent time thinking that it may be too late. It turns out that I may be wrong. Your chances of success, though, depends on a few things. I may have found a little success with iobline dating. i am open and out Asexual on my profile. I am willing to art of a poly-amorous relationship since I am aware that I am unable to fully fulfill a partners sexual needs, so I absolutely do not mind leting them find intimacy with others. Not everyone can do that. i am also not completely unwilling to have sex. I also attribute my success to having a very intersting and well written profile, which shows my (I guess) awesome personality. To do so required much revision over time. In short, you can find someone, but be patient and willing to expoerience a=failure before you attain success.

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AceInDaBlackHole

I have spent time thinking that it may be too late. It turns out that I may be wrong. Your chances of success, though, depends on a few things. I may have found a little success with iobline dating. i am open and out Asexual on my profile. I am willing to art of a poly-amorous relationship since I am aware that I am unable to fully fulfill a partners sexual needs, so I absolutely do not mind leting them find intimacy with others. Not everyone can do that. i am also not completely unwilling to have sex. I also attribute my success to having a very intersting and well written profile, which shows my (I guess) awesome personality. To do so required much revision over time. In short, you can find someone, but be patient and willing to expoerience a=failure before you attain success.

That's terrific!

It isn't what I meant, at least not entirely. I meant just being myself & making friends who understand. It would be very unlikely to have a traditional relationship from traditional dating or that and having a family. I'm a little old for kids but haven't ruled out adopting, going back to relationships. My life situation, itself, doesn't leave me much to offer that elusive asexual male or older straight male who's just waiting to go out with someone who's ideas would cost him $100k/yr just raising a child. I think the traditional things have always been deal breakers to any calm, connected and harmonious deal and gets harder to comprehend between people. So, I was thinking more "simple" expectations.

Also, what does your handle mean? Just want to make sure I'm reading it right!

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