Dudette Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Sorry, but I couldn't find these two questions in the FQA.Basically:-1) no sexual attraction = asexual2) sexual attraction to a person when strong romantic feelings = demi-asexual3 etc. Sorry I am to lazy to mention all the asexual spectrum :( My questions:- 1) is sexual desire strictly connected with sexual attraction? (is it possible to experience only sexual attraction or only sexual desire) 2) if you experience sexual attraction but never sexual desire? are you still in the asexual spectrum or are you in the sexual spectrum? if you are in the asexual spectrum then what is this asexuality called?Sorry for asking this, but I couldn't find the answers for these two question. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Those are good questions, and you'll find loads of threads debating aspects of them, in one way or another. It seems to me that the whole desire/attraction/libido concepts are so subjective and amorphous, and there are so many shared potential combinations between sexuals and asexuals that my brain fries. In the end, those concepts just aren't very useful. I think the only worthwhile criterion for 'are you asexual' is whether you feel your sexuality is something better shared with someone else, or if you prefer just to keep it to yourself. As a rule of thumb, I came up with these questions: - Would I be distressed at the thought of never having sex again? - If my partner never initiated sex, would I initiate it? - In a relationship, does sex give me an intense high and feeling of bonding that I can't get any other way? I'm not claiming any scientific robustness for this, it's pretty back of an envelope, but sexuals will say yes to those questions, asexuals will say no, as a rule of thumb. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 2, 2016 Author Share Posted September 2, 2016 Thank you Telecaster68 for your response!!! I have managed to find the answer for my second question!!! The answer is: the person who never experiences sexual desire is called autochorissexual[1][2]. [2] http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/107646742331/is-it-possible-to-be-autochorissexual-and-asexual [1] http://asexualscience.tumblr.com/post/98647405093/what-is-a-autochorissexual Quote Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Thank you Telecaster68 for your response!!! I have managed to find the answer for my second question!!! The answer is: the person who never experiences sexual desire is called autochorissexual[1][2]. [2] http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/107646742331/is-it-possible-to-be-autochorissexual-and-asexual [1] http://asexualscience.tumblr.com/post/98647405093/what-is-a-autochorissexual No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual. Autochorissexual is a completely unnecessary word to describe something which already has a much more commonly understood word: asexual. Telecaster68 has the right of it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 Thank you Telecaster68 for your response!!! I have managed to find the answer for my second question!!! The answer is: the person who never experiences sexual desire is called autochorissexual[1][2]. [2] http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/107646742331/is-it-possible-to-be-autochorissexual-and-asexual [1] http://asexualscience.tumblr.com/post/98647405093/what-is-a-autochorissexual No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual. Autochorissexual is a completely unnecessary word to describe something which already has a much more commonly understood word: asexual. Telecaster68 has the right of it. Actually, asexual person is the person who does not experience sexual attraction. So logically, a person who experiences sexual attraction, but not sexual desire is sexual (correct me if I am wrong). let us take the example of "comparing coffee to sexual attraction" which was posted in the "what is sexual attraction" thread. This will make it easier to explain what is sexual attraction to people who cannot experience sexual attraction. Basically:- sexual attraction to a person = ability to smell the coffee. thinking that the person is sexy = liking the smell of the coffee sexual desire with the person = desire to drink the coffee So (coffee example 1):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, but you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered sexual. So (coffee example 2):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you don't like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 3):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 4):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So (coffee example 5):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So basically, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual Furthermore, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual However, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual Furthermore, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual So logically, "No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual." is incorrect statement. (Correct me if I am wrong) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 But if this post above is true then how it is possible for sexual person with high sex-libido to not have sexual desire (sex with another person)?? and how it is possible for asexual person who does not experience sexual attraction to have sexual desire (sex with another person)?? IF it is possible for asexual person who does not experience sexual attraction to have sexual desire (sex with another person) then it is possible for heterosexual person who is not sexually attracted to same-sex to have sexual desire for same-sex??? :o Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 So a male person who finds women sexually attractive, BUT does not experience sexual desire for the women, but he experiences sexual desire ONLY for the men (even though he does not experience any sexual attraction to the men) is still heterosexual :O Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 So logically, a person who experiences sexual attraction, but not sexual desire is sexual (correct me if I am wrong). I certainly think you are wrong. That person is asexual, not sexual. Likewise, someone who feels the desire for partnered sex, but no "sexual attraction" is sexual, not ace. I consider the entire idea of defining orientations in term of "attraction" completely flawed, and I think that asexuality, if defined as a lack of "sexual attraction" but not meaning a lack of desire to have partnered sex, is a thing that a) definitely is not a legitimate orientation, and b) probably does not really exist. Asexuality == no (inherent/"primary") desire for partnered sex. That's the only definition I can really stand behind, and the only one I've heard so far that was concise and easy to understand. So a male person who finds women sexually attractive, BUT does not experience sexual desire for the women, but he experiences sexual desire ONLY for the men (even though he does not experience any sexual attraction to the men) is still heterosexual :o No, and that shows why "attraction" based definitions are stupid. That man is 100% homosexual/gay, and not at all straight/hetero. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 So asexual spectrum looks like this (sorry, I wasn't able to upload the picture directly via the website, so used the google drive)here is the link:- https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4B5uTFriIkcWkxpMUhyVWVZYkU (correct me if I am wrong) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 I know there's a tendency on this website for people to just make up words and redefine everything. But there are these great things that have been around for years called dictionaries that have words in them and well established definitions. You can look words up and it will tell you what they mean. For example, look at this definition of attraction: "a quality or feature of something or someone that evokes interest, liking, or desire" and it shows a synonym being "desirability." So, yes, for some of us who have been using English for centuries the words attraction and desire can and do mean very similar things. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 I know there's a tendency on this website for people to just make up words and redefine everything. But there are these great things that have been around for years called dictionaries that have words in them and well established definitions. You can look words up and it will tell you what they mean. For example, look at this definition of attraction: "a quality or feature of something or someone that evokes interest, liking, or desire" and it shows a synonym being "desirability." So, yes, for some of us who have been using English for centuries the words attraction and desire can and do mean very similar things. There is a big possibility that I have different picture of "sexual attraction" and "sexual desire" than most of the people in this forum; therefore, I used the example of "coffee" to explain how I picture sexual attraction and sexual desire. I am sorry, if this is stupid. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 I know there's a tendency on this website for people to just make up words and redefine everything. But there are these great things that have been around for years called dictionaries that have words in them and well established definitions. You can look words up and it will tell you what they mean. For example, look at this definition of attraction: "a quality or feature of something or someone that evokes interest, liking, or desire" and it shows a synonym being "desirability." So, yes, for some of us who have been using English for centuries the words attraction and desire can and do mean very similar things. Not making up your own definitions? That there's fighting talk round these parts... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 Thank you Telecaster68 for your response!!! I have managed to find the answer for my second question!!! The answer is: the person who never experiences sexual desire is called autochorissexual[1][2]. [2] http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/107646742331/is-it-possible-to-be-autochorissexual-and-asexual [1] http://asexualscience.tumblr.com/post/98647405093/what-is-a-autochorissexual No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual. Autochorissexual is a completely unnecessary word to describe something which already has a much more commonly understood word: asexual. Telecaster68 has the right of it. Actually, asexual person is the person who does not experience sexual attraction. So logically, a person who experiences sexual attraction, but not sexual desire is sexual (correct me if I am wrong). let us take the example of "comparing coffee to sexual attraction" which was posted in the "what is sexual attraction" thread. This will make it easier to explain what is sexual attraction to people who cannot experience sexual attraction. Basically:- sexual attraction to a person = ability to smell the coffee. thinking that the person is sexy = liking the smell of the coffee sexual desire with the person = desire to drink the coffee So (coffee example 1):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, but you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered sexual. So (coffee example 2):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you don't like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 3):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 4):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So (coffee example 5):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So basically, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual Furthermore, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual However, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual Furthermore, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual So logically, "No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual." is incorrect statement. (Correct me if I am wrong) RE. the bolded part. No, the ability to smell the coffee is equal to the ability to look at someone. Sexual attraction is more equal to smelling the coffee and really wanting to drink it cus the coffee smells amazing. Anyway, good luck figuring things out for yourself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dudette Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 Thank you Telecaster68 for your response!!! I have managed to find the answer for my second question!!! The answer is: the person who never experiences sexual desire is called autochorissexual[1][2]. [2] http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/107646742331/is-it-possible-to-be-autochorissexual-and-asexual [1] http://asexualscience.tumblr.com/post/98647405093/what-is-a-autochorissexual No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual. Autochorissexual is a completely unnecessary word to describe something which already has a much more commonly understood word: asexual. Telecaster68 has the right of it. Actually, asexual person is the person who does not experience sexual attraction. So logically, a person who experiences sexual attraction, but not sexual desire is sexual (correct me if I am wrong). let us take the example of "comparing coffee to sexual attraction" which was posted in the "what is sexual attraction" thread. This will make it easier to explain what is sexual attraction to people who cannot experience sexual attraction. Basically:- sexual attraction to a person = ability to smell the coffee. thinking that the person is sexy = liking the smell of the coffee sexual desire with the person = desire to drink the coffee So (coffee example 1):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, but you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered sexual. So (coffee example 2):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you don't like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 3):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 4):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So (coffee example 5):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So basically, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual Furthermore, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual However, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual Furthermore, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual So logically, "No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual." is incorrect statement. (Correct me if I am wrong) RE. the bolded part. No, the ability to smell the coffee is equal to the ability to look at someone. Sexual attraction is more equal to smelling the coffee and really wanting to drink it cus the coffee smells amazing. Anyway, good luck figuring things out for yourself. Doesn't it make more sense if "sexual attraction" = "smelling the coffee and thinking it smells amazing, and knowing that you are physically able drink it if someone told you to do it, but you would rather eat a cake"? and "sexual desire" = "really wanting to drink the coffee"? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 Thank you Telecaster68 for your response!!! I have managed to find the answer for my second question!!! The answer is: the person who never experiences sexual desire is called autochorissexual[1][2]. [2] http://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/post/107646742331/is-it-possible-to-be-autochorissexual-and-asexual [1] http://asexualscience.tumblr.com/post/98647405093/what-is-a-autochorissexual No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual. Autochorissexual is a completely unnecessary word to describe something which already has a much more commonly understood word: asexual. Telecaster68 has the right of it. Actually, asexual person is the person who does not experience sexual attraction. So logically, a person who experiences sexual attraction, but not sexual desire is sexual (correct me if I am wrong). let us take the example of "comparing coffee to sexual attraction" which was posted in the "what is sexual attraction" thread. This will make it easier to explain what is sexual attraction to people who cannot experience sexual attraction. Basically:- sexual attraction to a person = ability to smell the coffee. thinking that the person is sexy = liking the smell of the coffee sexual desire with the person = desire to drink the coffee So (coffee example 1):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, but you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered sexual. So (coffee example 2):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you don't like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 3):- If you are able to smell the coffee, and you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are still considered sexual. So (coffee example 4):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you find it profitable (or simply like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So (coffee example 5):- If you are not able to smell the coffee, and you don't know if you like the smell, and you do not find it profitable (or simply don't like to drink the coffee) then you are considered asexual. So basically, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual Furthermore, If you find every person NOT sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are asexual However, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you do NOT have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual Furthermore, if you find every person sexually attractive, but you have desire to have sex with every person then you are sexual So logically, "No, a person who never experiences sexual desire is called asexual." is incorrect statement. (Correct me if I am wrong) RE. the bolded part. No, the ability to smell the coffee is equal to the ability to look at someone. Sexual attraction is more equal to smelling the coffee and really wanting to drink it cus the coffee smells amazing. Anyway, good luck figuring things out for yourself. Doesn't it make more sense if "sexual attraction" = "smelling the coffee and thinking it smells amazing, and knowing that you are physically able drink it if someone told you to do it, but you would rather eat a cake"? and "sexual desire" = "really wanting to drink the coffee"? Not really. Sexual desire is like "Wow I love coffee, I should hit up a coffee shop and get a cup'. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 I think with the definition of sexual attraction on here sexual attraction and sexual desire are the same thing (wanting sexual contact with another person). It depends on someone's definition of sexual attraction but I see it as sexual desire. If you experience that then you are sexual or fall under sexual. Someone can call themselves asexual if they don't desire sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.