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Cuddled my way out of being Aro?


DoubleU

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So I've considered myself Ace Aro for a while now but recently somethings changed. I'm definition asexual,but I'm starting to question that aro part of myself. I met a friend over a summer trip who was very sensual and loved to cuddle and hug, and over the two weeks we got pretty close. I had never cuddled with anyone before and we did quite a few times over the trip and I enjoyed it quite a bit. I don't have any romantic feelings for her and I have no interest in a relationship but now I have a sort of love for cuddling which I never had before. Like I now have nights were I wish I was holding someone,a feeling I never had before. Is this normal or am I not actually aro, or something because its really confusing me.

Please feel free to leave any ideas or advice or questions below, thanks😊

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Anthracite_Impreza

Aros can love cuddling, that's perfectly normal.

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Someone Else

There are sexual people who will do all kinds of physical contact, including sex -- but they don't have a romantic bone in their body. I've come to realize that I think it's possible, then, for aro aces to like all kinds of things, that are neither romantic nor sexual. Kissing and cuddling are often assumed to be romantic by aces, but, I don't think it has to be, just like sex doesn't have to be romantic.

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Elluna Hellen

I don't have any romantic feelings for her and I have no interest in a relationship

Then why doubt yourself? :) As long as this doesn't change, nothing else invalidates your aromantic identity.

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now I have a sort of love for cuddling which I never had before. Like I now have nights were I wish I was holding someone

A wish that you were holding someone? Or a wish that you were holding her? If it's a wish you were holding her specifically, then maybe you might have some romantic feelings towards her. (I know for me personally, cuddling is the height of physical romantic intimacy with a partner).

Or do you just wish you were holding someone? In which case, it seems you've just discovered that you enjoy that sort of physical contact. No different than someone who really likes to sleep with a thick fuzzy blanket.

Liking cuddling by itself doesn't mean you aren't Aro, but the question I would ask is "Do you like cuddling? Or do you like cuddling with her?" And that might be a difficult distinction to sort out.

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Even if you wish it were her in particular that you were cuddling, that doesn't necessarily make it a romantic attraction. I love to cuddle my QPP at pretty much any opportunity. Specifically my QPP. There's some other people I wouldn't turn down cuddles from, because I do like to cuddle, but her in particular. Because I have a very strong sensual attraction to her, and I love affectionate touch. But I have no desire to date her, or kiss her, or have any romantic feelings at all for her.

If you say you have no romantic feelings for her... then there you go. Cuddles do not romance make.

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