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My biggest misconception about myself


AW10

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I have realized that no matter who I am: asexual, grey-asexual, demi-sexual, grey-sexual or sexual, I cannot know do I want a person if I do not know the person. Well, those five things I specified only define "what I desire and not desire" and "circumstances of my desiring and not desiring", but those five things do not define "what I want and not want". In order to decide do I want something, I first need to know that something. To conclude, I always have a choice about whether I want or not want something, no matter do I have or not have desire for that something, but I cannot choose something I know nothing about. What about you? Can you choose something you know nothing about?

EDIT: I have realized I have switched the meaning of the words; look at this article: http://blog.visioneering-ak.com/?page_id=411

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One Winged Angel

I'm sorry if I misunderstood your post, as I found it a bit difficult to follow, but you seem to be asking "how do I know I want ABC, if I do not know what ABC is to begin with?"

In this case, I would suggest very simply to trust how you feel inside. Some things will simply not interest you, and you will have no desire or interest in learning anyting about them. Other things you will feel drawn to, and want to know more about.

A common misconception about Asexuality is that we haven't met the right person, or know so little about sex that we need to 'try it' in order to form an opinion. In my experience, these are both bogus claims. It is very difficult for a grown adult to not know what sex even is. We know what it is - and we know that we don't want it. The 'right person' thing on the other hand is psychological solipsism, the attitude that because a right person existed for them, there HAS to exist one for the other person as well.

People "choose" things they know nothing about all the time. They believe things because they have been told to do so, but have not checked out the alleged facts, fictions and details for themselves. I am not saying that this is a good thing, far from it, but many people do act like this.

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In this case, I would suggest very simply to trust how you feel inside. Some things will simply not interest you, and you will have no desire or interest in learning anyting about them. Other things you will feel drawn to, and want to know more about.

This helped me a lot! I was actually afraid of making decisions based on feelings. I thought that the only reliable way is to make decisions based on thinking.

However, not all is reliable for everyone. I think that there exist "believing" people who can choose without knowing and "knowing" people who cannot choose without knowing.

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I'm a firm believer in making decisions based on thinking. You could well let your feelings guide to things or people you might find interesting and then find out that they don't work out in a logical way.

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