arikenobi Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I am new to this website, so hello! But I recently have been thinking about my romantic orientation. When I realized I was asexual, I felt very happy and eased to have found people who feel the same way as I do (as in sexual orientation)! I've never really thought much into my romantic orientation because I don't find many people attractive. Honestly, the people I find attractive are celebrities (whom which I have no chance with of course haha). I have had two "relationships" in the past, and both did not work out because of me. I found them attractive but once the "relationship" started, I did not want to do what they intended. They were into making out and sexual things of that sort, and I was so repulsed and couldn't make myself up to do it, so I ended it. But now I'm wondering, am I aromantic or not? Yes, I do find both genders attractive, so I was thinking biromantic. And I actually find a relationship a cool thing ya know? Having someone always there for you... But when I think of myself in the relationship, I feel as if I couldn't do it. I like cuddling, and being close in an emotional way too, but I don't like kissing! Everyone I know finds kissing to be such a special thing but I don't! I feel kind of out of place but I know I cannot change this so I am not ashamed of it at all. :) Would kissing be considered a necessity for a romantic relationship? I enjoy cuddling, being close, sharing the same bed, and such, but nothing farther. Overall, I am wondering if I am aromantic and seeking a queerplatonic relationship, or actually romantic and just not wanting to kiss (if that's even possible). And what is the difference? I am sorry if this made no sense, I've been sick and my mind is jumbled! But if anyone can help in any way or give me some type of feedback, I'd be very grateful. :) Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Kissing isn't a necessity for a romantic relationship. Romantic feelings are often used to differentiate one from a friendship- but even that's not really clear cut. Link to post Share on other sites
OutsideObserver Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Kissing would be a necessity in many (if not most) romantic relationships. There are even asexuals who would be reluctant to be with someone who wouldn't kiss them. Like everything else in a relationship, however, anything is negotiable if you find the right person... Link to post Share on other sites
divided_sky Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 I'm not a fan of kissing, really. If I get really into a girl, it is possible for me to want to kiss and find it enjoyable, but only for a short time, IME. I don't like making out and using a lot of tongue action. I'd generally prefer not to do it, or keep it simple. Kiss on the cheeks, pecks on the lips. I have not found making out to be enjoyable, and I get bored and just wait for it to be over. I also don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, and get no form of pleasure from it myself. I like more physical forms of affection, like hugs, cuddles, holding hands. Kissing has always struck me as a bit strange and awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
Podsnap Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Hello. To the overwhelming majority of people, yes, kissing is a necessity for a romantic relationship. Every guy I've ever either dated or hung out with even as *just friends* dumped me when it was discovered that I don't kiss. Lots of people who post here say that they have romantic feelings but that they don't want to kiss or be sexual so to answer your question, yes, it is possible to be romantic but just not want to kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
arikenobi Posted August 25, 2016 Author Share Posted August 25, 2016 I'm not a fan of kissing, really. If I get really into a girl, it is possible for me to want to kiss and find it enjoyable, but only for a short time, IME. I don't like making out and using a lot of tongue action. I'd generally prefer not to do it, or keep it simple. Kiss on the cheeks, pecks on the lips. I have not found making out to be enjoyable, and I get bored and just wait for it to be over. I also don't know what I'm supposed to be doing, and get no form of pleasure from it myself. I like more physical forms of affection, like hugs, cuddles, holding hands. Kissing has always struck me as a bit strange and awkward. Exactly my thoughts! I enjoy being close in other ways, like you said, cuddling, hugs, etc. But when it comes to kissing/making out, it's kind of like i'm back in early grade school when everyone thought kissing was foreign haha. It's very awkward and unnecessary to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Anime Pancake Posted August 25, 2016 Share Posted August 25, 2016 Hmm.. personally I wouldn't have a romantic relationship without kissing. Even if it is just a simple kiss and not making out that would be fine. I wouldn't have a romantic relationship without hugging or without kissing though. It would feel platonic to me. Everyone is different though. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeman7918 Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 I am not aromantic as far as I know but I still am not into kissing. Granted, I've never tried it but it still doesn't seem like it would be something I would take any enjoyment out of. It has always baffled my how people are into that kind of thing until I figured out that I'm asexual. I'm also wondering if I would be into cuddling and hugging at all because I'm a bit touch adverse, every time my mom hugs me I just find it annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted August 27, 2016 Share Posted August 27, 2016 For me kissing is romantic along with other sensual activities. With feelings it would be more like a friendship but with a crush involved. It really depends or you and the other person but I would think the other person doesn't like me if there's no kissing. Link to post Share on other sites
davenah Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I feel like I'm kind of in the middle here. I really enjoy hand holding, hugs, and cuddling. I also experience the desire to kiss my partner, but I've found that most often I'm drawn to give her small kisses on her forehead, cheek or neck, rather than on the lips. I do enjoy normal kisses to an extent, but I don't particularly like making out, especially for long periods of time. I get bored, and it honestly feels a bit emotionless to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 I've never kissed someone before but it's also something I don't particularly want to do either. I like the idea of a kiss to the top of the head, but normal kissing just seems... unappealing? I think if I got comfortable enough with a person I'd be ok with kissing, but the longer it gets and the more handsy it gets, the faster I feel like I'd be saying "NOPE NOPE NOPE." XD Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Yeah, the kissing thing isn't really necessary. I'm sexual and I don't consider kissing such an important thing, even in a romantic / sexual relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
arikenobi Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 I feel like I'm kind of in the middle here. I really enjoy hand holding, hugs, and cuddling. I also experience the desire to kiss my partner, but I've found that most often I'm drawn to give her small kisses on her forehead, cheek or neck, rather than on the lips. I do enjoy normal kisses to an extent, but I don't particularly like making out, especially for long periods of time. I get bored, and it honestly feels a bit emotionless to me. This is exactly my thoughts! I have the desire to kiss my partner, but when it comes to actually doing it, I find myself not wanting to anymore. Like you said, it's emotionless and quite boring. I have yet to come across someone IRL who feels the same as me... Link to post Share on other sites
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