What answers you received when you told to your friends that you are asexual?

[TRexPhilbo]

Acceptance. I only came out because I completely trust him.

[rose~]

Luckily, most of my friends are very open and accepting of things like this, so most of my responses have been very positive. Only my closest friends have ever really heard me say the term "Ace" or "Asexual", so I've only ever really officially "came out" to these select few. It's not that coming out as Ace scares me (except maybe to my family, who wouldn't be very accepting of terms like that), it's just that I'm one of those people who views it as a "I'm not gonna say anything unless someone asks me about it" sort of thing.

The first time was in high school when I actually figured out I was Ace alongside a close childhood friend who, unbeknownst to me until then, since I didn't even know Ace was a thing, was also Ace. It was sort of thanks to her that I was able to figure myself out. :) The second time was probably my senior year of high school when my best friend and I got on the topic of the sexualities of the people in our friend circle during lunch one time, and she came out to me as Pan. She asked me if I was comfortable saying mine, and I told her I was Ace. She just nodded and said something like, "Oh, that actually makes sense. I kinda figured since (name of another close friend) is Ace, and it made sense that you would be too because you act so similarly with those things." Soon, since we're all very open with each other, everyone in that circle eventually caught word, and now the people who know me as Ace are my 3 closest friends (2 of which are also Aces, so I guess that was a lucky factor) from that high school group who I hang around with to this day. I'm very happy that they are so nice about it. In fact, my Pan best friend often asks me questions about Asexuality so that she can better understand my feelings, and vice versa. :)

I guess I fall into that "predictable Ace" category, lol. :lol:

[RK800]

I don't think I really had any friends before coming across AVEN and facebook ace groups. In general before a friendship is formed I must be relatively certain of the individual's acceptance of me being trans and asexual so coming out has never been an issue with friends per say...

However I have come out to family about being asexual and the responses varied.

"I think I had friends like that as a teen! Life isn't all about sex."

"Well I accept it but it might change one day."
"That's cool."

"So like you never feel attracted to anyone, ever?"

"Makes sense."

[furaneol]

I've only told my best friend and she seemed really happy for me for figuring this out. I'm not sure if I also told the universe, but when I left my house the day I figured out I was a demiromantic ace, I found a box for the Plan B emergency contraceptive box in our driveway... I couldn't tell if that was the universe's way of being happy (or sassy) with me for identifying as ace LOL (I found it to be quite coincidental because I've never seen a Plan B box before XD).

I've been wanting to tell my friend who helped me indirectly find my identity (he's the one who told me about AVEN and how it helped him determine his asexuality), but haven't found a good time to do so yet. I haven't told anyone else yet because I cannot begin to imagine what their responses might be... I anticipate my college friends saying something along the lines of "You can't really say until you try it!" or "You haven't found the right person yet!" (Just thinking about it makes me go ugh). I have a couple of high school friends I'm still in contact with, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell them yet.

[Danny_Smith]

Accepted by female friends. Never told males.

[Dragonheart]

Coming out to my friends went about as expected, honestly.

Friend 1: *teasing me about always texting a boy*

Me: *jokingly* Here we go again, trying to get the asexual to flirt

(I then got to watch her face go through about six different emotions in the same number of seconds, which was amusing to say the least. I did have to explain asexuality to her, but it definitely came as a surprise to her.)

Me: So I'm asexual
Friend 2: I already pretty much knew that tbh I was waiting for you to figure it out

Me: ...Thanks for telling me that was a thing that existed XD

(I don't think she realized I hadn't been introduced to the concept yet)

Me: I want to go to Pride next year.
Mom: Why?
Me: Well, Ally support, for one thing, but I'm also asexual, meaning I don't experience sexual attraction toward other people.

(I got to explain asexuality to her, too, but I am going to Pride next year.)

All of them went something like that. I have extremely supportive friends, for which I am infinitely grateful.

[BelovedKnight]

The first few where excepting or indifferent and then one of them asked me "why I would stunt myself like that" t got one that was "you just have to find the right person" and one that was "well that's just not possible you talk about sex way to much to be asexual" though one of my favorites was when a friend stated that she would love to dated a "cute little Asexual" and I just started laughing and remarked that while I wasent exactly cute, little, or looking for that kind of relationship that I wax asexual. She literally squealed and hugged me. She confuses me but it was definitely on the positive side of things

The first few where excepting or indifferent and then one of them asked me "why I would stunt myself like that" t got one that was "you just have to find the right person" and one that was "well that's just not possible you talk about sex way to much to be asexual" though one of my favorites was when a friend stated that she would love to dated a "cute little Asexual" and I just started laughing and remarked that while I wasent exactly cute, little, or looking for that kind of relationship that I wax asexual. She literally squealed and hugged me. She confuses me but it was definitely on the positive side of things

The first few where excepting or indifferent and then one of them asked me "why I would stunt myself like that" t got one that was "you just have to find the right person" and one that was "well that's just not possible you talk about sex way to much to be asexual" though one of my favorites was when a friend stated that she would love to dated a "cute little Asexual" and I just started laughing and remarked that while I wasent exactly cute, little, or looking for that kind of relationship that I wax asexual. She literally squealed and hugged me. She confuses me but it was definitely on the positive side of things

[Darcynerd]

I'm happy you trusted me enough to tell me. Thank you for trusting me. I won't tell. Okay, that's cool. I' m so happy you figured it out. It must be a relief to know.(from people who knew I was questioning)

[Gatsogee]

I stil haven't told anyone, my friends are so sexual and they have talked about how weird it would be if someone didn't wanna have sex so I'm kinda scared and same goes with my mom. It's been a very long couple of years but I think I'm gonna tell about this to one of my good friends soon :) and I think you all are very brave because I'm still such a loser

[NinetyFive]

My one in-person friend who I've flat out told had a pretty uncaring reaction, haha. It's about what I expected, but he did add that he knows some asexuals at his school. Part of me wonders if he knows celibate people instead but it doesn't bother me too much if he knows the difference or not.

I believe his actual words were "Oh, okay." So that's about all I've gotten and pretty much all I expect. I think coming out as ace doesn't have much impact to it, and maybe there really isn't too much to explain.

[SnowGhost]

When I told my best friend a few years back she was cool with it and was like "Yeah, you probably are." I also told this guy I was "friends" with that I was asexual, when he told me that he wanted to be more than friends and he totally didn't understand or even try to understand. He was all like, "but you've had sex before, you have kids." He got pretty mad at me, and and was kind of acting like I owed him sex or something. I think he partly thought that I just didn't like him romantically (I did) and that I was making something up to get out of being more than friends. I tried to explain that I liked him, but that I didn't want to have sex with anyone (and that it wasn't just him) because I didn't like it and that I was tired of always putting aside my feelings in order to make other people happy in relationships. We didn't talk anymore after that, but I don't regret standing up for the way I felt.

[Bidelia]

I told one male friend who seemed very accepting, said it was all fine he accepted it and didn't change anything. Then he hasn't spoken to me for a month and hasn't answered any emails or texts from me. So I don't know what to think. Seems like he's not fine with it at all. :(

[Jittery_kit]

I haven't come out to many folks yet -- just cuz I haven't really felt the need to -- but most responses have been ok. Mostly indifferent. Although, I had a friend who was kind of fascinated by the idea -- she's super sexual, and I'm not, and she couldn't get her head around the idea of somebody not having an interest...

[CrazyCatLover]

OP, I am so sorry to hear that your friend was unkind and unsupportive. I'm lucky in that most of my family and friends responded either positively or neutrally. My cousin's response was very painful though. I came out to him first because I thought that as a gay man who'd recently come out of the closet himself, he would be understanding. I can still remember his exact reply, verbatim, ten years later:

"When my [recently married] sister was your age, we all thought she was asexual. College is a busy time and who really has time for a relationship right now? You'll find someone when you get older." He meant it kindly, but that such a dismissive response when what I really wanted to hear was some variation on "I believe you." I did hear that from my sister, after a fashion, later that week when I told her "wait, did you figure this out recently? Cause I could have told you that years ago!"

[dancexual]

So far everyone's been great. A couple of my friends suspected that I was ace. Most of my friends were pretty casual about it, and all of them supported me and actually knew about asexuality.

My favorite response was when a friend admitted that he's been questioning his sexuality, and that he thinks he's asexual as well. It's really nice to have a friend that I can relate to and discuss my sexuality with.

Overall, I've been extremely lucky so far, and I wish everyone could get the responses I've received.

[ahoy_there_acey]

First time - my friend blinked and then said i should be one of the camera guys who film porn The second time i told people it was fine, questions were asked but i felt comfortable. Theres jokes because i'm one of the crudest of the group and yet i'm the asexual lol. My family still dont know and likely assume im gay and in denial.

[Ashmedai]

Most people didn't really say anything, so that's ok. One person however thought it meant that it's something that only plants do. One other person was really confused by it. There was a negative response, but that was so long ago, so I can't remember what it was exactly.

[TheLeafBunny]

I've yet to come out to many friends irl (well, besides my college LGBT group because I knew they'd more likely be accepting). But the few I have told outside of that group have been pretty cool with it, thank goodness. Kind of gives me hope for when I think I'll try coming out more "publicly" (through an Inktober drawing, so anywhere I'm not already out that I've been posting my Inktober stuff this year) on Tuesday...

Though once I wrote a paper for a creative nonfiction class on my experience with asexuality, to which most responses were just generally inquisitive rather than positive or negative. And, you know, general writing critique about places where I might not have explained it that well.