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New member with lots of questions


Ange

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So I've been reading up a lot on grace/demi information and I am still so confused on how I identify myself. I know that only I can truly know who I am and ultimately decide how I identify myself, but the information can at times be vague.

I am a straight female, and have been in relationships with a few men, but never really felt much with them. In my relationships I would have sex with the men, but only because I felt obligated to do so for their sake, not because I was sexually attracted to them. I'm not saying that sex is something that completely disgusts me, but I will only have sex to have sex, not because I find the men attractive in that way.

I think I have only been sexually attracted to another man maybe 2/3 times in my 24 years of life, at least I think I felt sexual attraction towards them, but I didn't act on those feelings. I'm just so confused because I know I'm different from my friends and I don't feel comfortable talking to them about this. Just hoping for some input and personal experiences from others.

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1) So you don't desire sex at all; even for sexual or emotional pleasure; even after foreplay?

2) By sexual attraction do you mean the impulse to do sexual things to a specific person?

Asexual: not desiring sex with anyone even after foreplay

Demisexual: desiring sex after an unusual amount of time due to an achieved bond

Gray-ace/Gray-sexual: this term is currently having talk of being slightly redefined, but currently it means that someone desires sex at an unusual point in time (e.g. rarely, vary randomly, after a bond, etc.) Some are closer to the ace end and some are closer to being normal sexuals.

If you do have sexual attraction without desire then that's a type of Gray-A. If you've yet to have the chance to act on it then I'd hold off on a label, though if it's rare, again, that's a type of Gray-sexual or Aceflexile (i.e. if you desire to act on it).

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