hello i am a newby

[uglyegg]

uh so I need some professional advice from legit people who are asexual so uh I have just been thinking lots recently and I cannot decide if i am truly asexual or not. like honestly i just dont see why sex is so important and dicks gross me out and the whole idea of being romantic does too and i feel like a little kid for feeling this way but idk ya kno. I want to be in a "relationship" i guess with someone but I do not need sex and intimacy scares the fuck out of me and there is no way i am going to become "vulnerable" to any fucking person because i been livin w insecurities and other bad shit my whole life and i do not want to open up that much to someone idk this might all sound stupid but sos

[Queen of Wonderland]

Well the idea of you thinking genitals are gross doesn't just straight up make you asexual, to start. I have straight female friends who also thinks dicks are gross. So discounting that, you sound pretty indifferent to sex; if that's the case, if you don't feel the need/urge/desire for partnered sex, and you don't experience the kind of attraction that leads to partnered sex, then yes you are asexual. The stuff about intimacy and not wanting to open up? That's just you, that doesn't have to do much with asexuality. I would say since you mention you don't like the idea of being romantic with someone that you might be aromantic, but you also mention you want a relationship with someone, so that's probably just preference. Although the quotes give me some pause.

(And also, welcome to AVEN )