Am I an asexual person?

[StefanZweig]

Hello there, this is Dzhem speaking, 22 y.o guy who thinks he might be an asexual. First of all I am not a native english speaker.

I kinda lost my interest to women. I started even hating little bit. I never had interest to Male, and I loved being in reliationship with women so I don't think I am gay.

I am good looking guy, I always was. I was different than any male friends of mine. Back then, even when I was a kid it wasnt difficult for me to pick a girl. So my first sex experience was when I was 14. I only once got rejected by a Female, but I didn't give up and finally made her accept me. We dated nearly 2 years. I realised that I didn't care anything in life. She showed me the way of living, caring something. Then I though we souldn't be together. I had a crush on her but I never wanted to marry her because this was what she wanted to do. I broke up her. For a year I didn't forget her. I see her in my dreams, I dated with other girls but I couldnt even touch their hands because that would be a huge disrespect to what we lived together, every second we shared together. Females were like "She and others" in my eyes. Time past, I heard that she started reliationship after 2 weeks of breaking up with me with my ex best friend. I said okay to myself, maybe she did it just for making me jealous or for feeding her ego. While I didnt touch another women hand she didnt give a fuck about " us" and started having sex imidiately. Isnt sex a psychial way of love?

The problem was everybody around me think Im cool guy, I forgot her in a day and didn't care anything. Because girls started reaching me, coming our flat

calling me etc when they heard I broke up. But I had a pain inside.

Time past, past and past. Now... I really see every female the same. I once visited my family and hated my mother. She was using typical women ways to take something from a man. This is... This is a women never even dare to do on me. I am not a slave of a pussy and I will never sell my character for it. But the whole life is turning about it. Ugly people can't get pussy when they are young so they want to be in good jobs to have beautiful wifes. ETC ETC.

But why women act so low like that. Its... Its really disguisting. They are all the same. Talking about nonsense shits.... After a good sex in forest I am watching the starts and thinking about the universe and my partner just thinks what she's gonna eat in the morning.... And also they think they have a pussy so eventually you will obey her. No way..

In the beginning I couldnt find any interest on having sex with a women I couldn't love. I really can't even finish sometimes If i don't feel anything to my partner even she was one of the most beautiful girls in the college. And I lived with it. I am a horny guy but I am not a creep. Then I fell in love with a women(after 2 years my ex). She was kind, emotional and little shy which made me crush quickly. She came to me, told me she have crush on me, she finds me very entellectual and intellegent also handsome. It all started again, after 5-6 months she started changing my life. " Cut your hair my love you will look better with short hair. " And many other things. Then one day I realised she was afraid of losing interest on me and having crush on other man this is why she wanted to me look like her "ideal man". And I broke up. 3 weeks and she was with another man. Whats wrong? How its that much easy? You have one fucking life and you share your stupid seconds with someone which makes this nonsense life a little sense. And how can you disrespect it? I lived with it, I forgot her face and her actions and moved forward. But all that things which happened in 4-5 years made me now have 0 interest agains female. A girl is coming in a club on me, I am like a bomb my libido is huge, she asks me if I take her to my flat, I directly say no. I don't want to touch women anymore. Its just, they think they are complicated but they are very simple. They think they are smart and men are stupid which make them idiots. Im pretty much sure I will hate them until I found " The one" which is impossible because its all about in the mind. One day you see a women which you determine " Not the one " Before you see but suddenly something looks exciting about her and you fell in love. This is that much simple. Since I cant fall in love anymore and I am not enjoying sex without love, I lost all my interest about felames. I even try to not be in the same place with them. All that brain games, all that ego they have.. Just because they are beautiful they can do anything they want? Sorry I forgot to talk about it, even if I had the chance of picking up really beautiful girls, I found "regular" girls more attaractive. Because beauty is something you see the real beauty comes from how she is in her head. Imagination, sense of humor, entellectuality, knowledge etc. But why female never thinks in my way? I am good looking guy ( which I never though I am but every girl around me told this and my friends basically everybody) but that doesnt feed my ego and I dont start humaliating ugly or regular people. Looking is nothing.

so my question is am I an asexual person? Or I just need therapy? What you think? Thanks everyone who answer, once again sorry for my english.

[Fatima]

No one can answer that for you, only you can determine whether or not you are asexual. However, in my opinion, I don't think you're ace. I could be wrong, that's just what I've inferred from your post.

To be perfectly honest, you definitely have some problems with misogyny. I think you should work through your resentment towards women & your mother with a therapist, because sexism can be potentially damaging both to yourself & the women in your life. Being asexual has nothing to do with hating or disliking women, or hating men for that matter, it stems from a disinterest in sex. You seem to be sexual, you're just disappointed by some of the experiences you've had with women. A lot of women have had bad experiences dating men, but they don't suddenly become asexual. They keep looking until they find Mr. Right. Keep looking until you find Mrs. Right. You seem to have very so-called "conventional" & "traditional" views of women, & are put off by promiscuous & dominating women. In other words, you seem to like "submissive" women. There are girls out there who want that kind of "traditional" 50s style relationship with a man.

[OttRInvy]

I agree with Hashke. You may or may not be asexual, but you definitely have negative perceptions of women as a whole.

It sounds like you have a libido ("A girl is coming in a club on me, I am like a bomb my libido is huge..."), it's just that you don't want to act on it. Some might debate that this makes you not asexual (you seem to experience sexual attraction), others argue that this could make you asexual (you don't desire to have partnered sex). Once again, as Hashke said, how you choose to identify is up to you.

However, I would suggest therapy regardless. It sounds like sex is a very personal thing for you, that involves closeness, feelings of love, etc. If you wish to have sexual relationships, you most likely won't find fulfilling ones until you've worked through the betrayal you feel from your previous relationships. Right now, it doesn't seem like you could have a close emotional relationship with a woman, so you're unlikely to find a fulfilling romantical/sexual relationship with one. And even if you choose to not pursue romantic/sexual relationships, women make up a large portion of the population, so it's a good idea to try to develop a healthy mindset about them. Despising women to the point of avoiding being in the same place in them will create tension in workplaces, social events, etc. And it's not possible to avoid women always, so it will create many stressful situations throughout your life. Therapy could really help you to heal from the betrayal you feel, as well as help you learn how you want women to feel around you and what relationships you want to form with them.

[Ladyinred]

I agree with the two above posts. You don't sound asexual to me. You sound more like hurt by two women, and angry about it. Therapy is a good idea to help you get thru the hurt and anger, and then you could begin to date again and fall in love when you meet that special woman. And you would enjoy having sex if you are with the right person. Good luck!