Wanting to want

[Little Red]

Hi,

I'm the person who never really talks but reads like a million discussion posts. Over a year ago I began to identify myself on the asexual scale. I'm still uncertain if I could be Demi or not. I know I'm at least heteroromantic. I'm still very much in the closet. I don't want to be asexual. I want to want sex. A comparison I make, it's like those little chocolate mints they give out at Olive Garden. I have a sensativity to mint and I know if I eat it I'm not going to like it in the moment because I gag at the smell and it'll only kill my stomach later. But every time I find myself reaching for the candy and holding it before giving it to my older sister. I want it but only because it looks good. Everyone is always talking about how much fun sex is and all that jazz but when I really think about it, Im not interested at all. I've tried masterbation and that was terrible and I've been somewhat intimate with a boy but I hated it and went back and forth between being bored and disgusted. I think people are beautiful but I don't get aroused by them or think about having sex with them. Here's the thing though, I've had severe depression since I was 6 and began medication when I was 16. I also have thyroid issues and hormonal problems. Could these things be suppressing my lobido? Is that the right word?

[nanogretchen4]

Depression and SSRI's both notoriously lower libido. The hormone issues could certainly have a similar effect. Personally, I would recommend dealing with as many of the medical issues as possible before getting too attached to a label.

[Hobbes∞]

Desire of any kind is a tricky little bugger to deal with, so I wouldn't consider your lack thereof to be a problem so much.

However if you really want to set those gears in motion as it were, I'd talk to a doctor, long term medication can have all sorts of effects and a lowered (or non-existent) libido seems a surprisingly common one~

[Aloki24601]

I have had success with acupuncture in treating depression. It is a natural form of medicine with no harmful side effects (although you can feel a bit loopy just after treatment).

I also have found yoga to be very helpful at steadying my breath and creating a harmonic balance in my body and mind -- it's hard to explain without sounding cheesy, but yoga has made a decisive difference in my life and it provides, discipline and focus which combine to provide importance (as in something meaningful to pursue) in my life which has been helpful :) But yoga can actually be very therapeutic and medicinal in a physical sense - -it won't fix broken bones, but certain poses strung together can help detox the body :-D Best of luck to you!

[borkfork]

I've said something similar to "wanting to want" before. Though I want to want someone else.

Short answer is depression, antidepressants, and hormonal issues can kill your libido. It's a tricky subject to talk to your doctor about because maybe things will change, but there's also a possibility that they won't. Any kind of weaning or switching medication should be supervised by a doctor as well as having other people keep an eye on you. Often times there's behavior you won't notice yourself but your family or friends will. Maybe you're taking too much, maybe you're on the wrong medication. Who knows.

I can't say when it started, but I was probably 14 or 15 when I was diagnosed with depression, and went on meds when I was 15 or 16. By time I was diagnosed I had already developed a libido. So I switched when I noticed side effects. I've been on three different medications. PM me if you want hear about [not] fun thyroid stuff.

Yoga or even something as simple as walking your dog can help a lot.

(I know some of this is "no duh" stuff, but better safe than sorry)

[scarletlatitude]

I agree that yoga has helped me. I have anxiety and depression, currently on meds only for depression.

I can't say much for libido though. Mine has always been very low to non existent.