timidcat Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I understand that being asexual doesn't mean having no libido but I'm just confused how you can be asexual if you masturbate. Isn't the person required to think about people being erotic or sexual to *get off*? Is masturbation possible without thinking sexual thoughts? I don't masturbate or watch porn so I got no idea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 No, not at all. You can think about whatever you want, or nothing at all. And people do it for all sorts of reasons, including it just feels good. Plenty of people also don't watch porn. Personally, I see no conflict between feeling sexual yourself, and not having any interest in partnered sex. For many people (sexual people) there is a distinct appeal to partnered sex. I think when it comes to asexuals, that appeal is largely missing. I'd have to actively think about it in order for it to occur to me, "oh right! I'm supposed to want sex with this person. Eh, but I'm really not sure about that." For some people, masturbation just feels good, and no other person is required, so no problem. They're just enjoying the good feelings. Hopefully that's a semi-reasonable explanation. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WinterWanderer Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 When I masturbate (very rarely - I've masturbated maybe three times in my life), I don't think about anyone or about sex at all. I just do it because it feels good. Actually, I think it might ruin the whole experience for me if I thought of someone while masturbating. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
m4rble Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 No, masturbation doesn't require fantasies about another person. Some asexuals do fantasize about sex though and simply don't actually desire sex with real people. Others masturbate without fantasizing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
One Winged Angel Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Being able to masturbate, or responding to masturbatory touch (arousal, ejaculation etc.), is just our bodies working as they should do. It is also not required to think about sex, and most certainly not required to think about a person, when masturbating. Many people will masturbate and simply focus the on the physical sensation, or even let their mind wander onto other topics altogether. Even if they did think about sex however, this does not always translate to a 'real world' desire. Some people's fantasies are so fantastical that they could never happen, nor would they want them to happen in real life anyway! Masturbation and arousal are largely a physical process, and thus are not in themselves dependant on mental stimuli. I used to do this a lot more when I younger, as it was like an itch to scratch. It didn't, and still doesn't feel anything special, and I have never imagined sex in my mind when doing so. For me, it is just like another function of the body, and I hear it is healthy for the prostrate so what's the harm? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hobbes∞ Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Oh y'all ain't ever got halfway through a sandwich and realised you're so distracted by Netflix you couldn't even tell what sandwich it was? Or like got halfway through listening to a song you wanted to hear and realised you haven't paid any attention to it whatsoever~ Don't underestimate the brain's capacity for being distracted and not at all focused on any one thing~ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Queen of Wonderland Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 Nah, you really don't need to think erotic thoughts to get off while masturbating. I personally never have, in fact, my mind wanders just like when I'm spacing out other times, the few times I do masturbate. In fact I feel kind of ridiculous thinking erotic thoughts when I do, and don't get anything from it. There's debate on whether or not masturbating is even a sexual action (and I mean sexual as in the way we refer to not ace people), since a lot of times its just considered a body function by ace people. Lots of ace people either just do it because it feels good, as stated above, or because their libido is acting up and its annoying (if I'm phrasing that correctly idk). This is one of, I think, the main differences between asexual and allosexual people; they often want to or even need to connect their arousal to other people or actions with other people, unlike ace folks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier080854 Posted August 13, 2016 Share Posted August 13, 2016 I do not masturbate at all. And I'm 62. I have been asked to produce a sperm sample, twice, 1971 and 1998, these are the only two occasions I have ever masturbated. I suppose I could, but why bother? When I did masturbate, I couldn't wait for it to finish, I would prefer to make a cup of tea. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 I don't think about anyone or about sex at all. I just do it because it feels good. Actually, I think it might ruin the whole experience for me if I thought of someone while masturbating. That's exactly how it is for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 There's debate on whether or not masturbating is even a sexual action (and I mean sexual as in the way we refer to not ace people), since a lot of times its just considered a body function by ace people. Which is a debate that makes zero sense to me. It is manipulation of the sexual organs to try to simulate a sexual response. What *isn't* sexual about it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 You can think about it in this way: A person might fantasize about getting kidnapped by evil people, and then in their daydreams they'll kill those bastards, but that doesn't mean that a person really wants that to happen. Correct? For me, it's just like that. I can get turned-on by various sexual thoughts, but it's the thoughts that are turn-ons, and not the people in my head. Asexuality is lacking sexual attraction and a desire for sex. Despite my rather intense daydreams that would make a lot of dough in the porn industry, I don't actually want any of it to happen in real life. Some of it I might be okay with, and maybe even enjoy, but want it? Desire it? Require it? Nooope. Therefore, I'm asexual. ^_^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Casimir Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 I'm sex-repulsed but I still get aroused and masturbate. I hate getting aroused but the body wants what it wants and it's not like it doesn't feel good. (never seems worth it though) The only thing that has the ability to "turn me on" is reading something. Even then it's more like my body is getting aroused. Me, my mind, my personality is completely uninterested and perhaps grossed out while my body is like Yes! Yes please. No body, chill out. So I have completely unrealistic "fantasies" that always happen to someone else because I can't picture sexual things happening to me and if I try I get really disgusted. So for me the body and mind are completely separated. Body aroused, mind not. That's a huge way I know I'm asexual. I masturbate, but it's totally a body thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MiniVegan Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 I almost never masturbate. It actually never occurred to me to try it. A friend was telling about how often she did and how young she was when she started, and she was shocked that I had never done it. So I tried it. Meh. It feels good, but it's not satisfying any need or urge that I have. And I have never thought about anyone while doing it. However, I believe that I have a very low sex drive, in addition to being Ace. Some people may feel the need for sexual release without having any sexual feelings towards any person. As long as you don't feel sexual attraction, you're ace, no matter what else you do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Askari Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hello....my very first post on here! I am a married 52yr old guy. Sadly sex in my marriage was never good...my wife has simply never been interested in sex and not remotely interested that I once was. We have had no intimacy for 5+ years now and I have completely gone off my wife (sexually) and I suspect I am heading towards being asexual like her.. I know this thread is about masturbation....in my younger years I could easily do it 2-4 times a day...either just fantasising or watching porn. These days whilst I would love to have a sex life with someone its just not happening...the sad thing is that it has also affected my desire to masturbate. There is no longer the urge or the desire to. I actually have to make a point of doing it....really because I feel I have to...to ensure prostate health and to make sure I am still up for it! I have to watch porn and physically stimulate myself now...porn alone just doesn't get me hard enough. I masturbate once, maybe twice a month now. Its not particularly pleasurable either. I know there are many guys who the longer they leave it the more mind blowing an orgasm they have...not me, ever. The longer I leave it the more 'gunk' (sorry!!) may come out but the less the feeling of orgasm is. I'm afraid I blame all this on my wife. Had she shown more interest in sex we could have had a great marriage. We have two children who I need around me full time. When they fly the nest, so will I. And I hope I find someone who can re-ignite that fire in me! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
henshin Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Hello....my very first post on here! I am a married 52yr old guy. Sadly sex in my marriage was never good...my wife has simply never been interested in sex and not remotely interested that I once was. We have had no intimacy for 5+ years now and I have completely gone off my wife (sexually) and I suspect I am heading towards being asexual like her.. I know this thread is about masturbation....in my younger years I could easily do it 2-4 times a day...either just fantasising or watching porn. These days whilst I would love to have a sex life with someone its just not happening...the sad thing is that it has also affected my desire to masturbate. There is no longer the urge or the desire to. I actually have to make a point of doing it....really because I feel I have to...to ensure prostate health and to make sure I am still up for it! I have to watch porn and physically stimulate myself now...porn alone just doesn't get me hard enough. I masturbate once, maybe twice a month now. Its not particularly pleasurable either. I know there are many guys who the longer they leave it the more mind blowing an orgasm they have...not me, ever. The longer I leave it the more 'gunk' (sorry!!) may come out but the less the feeling of orgasm is. I'm afraid I blame all this on my wife. Had she shown more interest in sex we could have had a great marriage. We have two children who I need around me full time. When they fly the nest, so will I. And I hope I find someone who can re-ignite that fire in me! Doesn't this just happen with age anyway though dude? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Telecaster68 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Frequency might decline, but it's not inevitable that it lacks pleasure because it reminds you of how depressing the rest of your sex life is. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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