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Question (Possible TMI)


Starry Night

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Starry Night

Hi. Sorry if this might seem like a weird or awkward question, but I was wondering if there were other people who could relate to this.

Is there anyone else out there who can get physically turned on by watching foreplay, but is uncomfortable with the actual sex part? And what I mean is, if there is like a sex scene in a movie or whatever, I can actually get aroused by touching, kissing, etc. But add any genitalia into the mix and I'm just grossed out. I find it an interesting mental response, since even though my body seems to react to foreplay, my disgust for the genital areas pretty much cancel it out. Now, I've never tried to have sex, nor have I even kissed anyone, but I know that I have an aversion to the idea of sex. Especially oral. Can you even imagine wanting to put their MOUTH on someone's... reproductive part? *shudder...

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else was like this. I mean, I see a lot of people on here who are either disinterested or repulsed by it... but this didn't used to be a thing for me. I knew I was disgusted by sex, but this physical reaction I have is more recent, even though I still don't want to have sex. It's the weirdest thing. And I have to say, the first of my friends I know to have had sex told me, "Yeah, it's not that great." "Oh, yeah, oral is definitely disgusting." And I'm like, "REALLY?" I mean, all my life I thought it was supposed to be this awesome thing but... different strokes for different folks, I guess. My mom told me it "can be a pleasurable experience" with the right person, and I do have another friend who thinks sex is the bee's knees so... deep down I suppose I'm curious about what it's like. I'm just grossed out and terrified by it. No biggie.

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yeah, sure. I like to watch lesbian porn which has really long foreplay scenes, 10-15+ minutes. As soon as they are about to get naked, i switch to next one.

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Yah, I've heard some people say that. Genital repulsion is also common, even among sexuals (arousal fogs that over and that's how they end up haveing sex). If you're under 17 your orientation could still be developing. A minority go as far as 20. But if you desire to make out but haven't then you could be a part of the majority of sexual women who require foreplay to trigger their desire for sex. So even if you are currently averse, foreplay/arousal can perswade your mind otherwise.

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Queen of Wonderland

I can kinda relate to this; I mean I don't mind foreplay-like things (I don't really get aroused much by them either), but as soon as you include any kind of genitalia in the equation, no thank you, please stop.

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I feel much the same way about vegetables. It looks cool when a professional chef is chopping and flavouring and tossing and doing the flame thingy but then they go and put it in front of me like 'Oh, you expected me to eat this...'

(To clarify the analogy I'm drawing is to enjoying the foreplay/cooking and not the main event as it were, not to oral sex, I can see how that'd be confusing)

It's pretty common as far as I'm aware (with both sex and vegetables actually) so I wouldn't waste any time worrying about it, your experience is obviously going to be quite different from everyone around you~

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Starry Night

Thanks for the replies!

Yah, I've heard some people say that. Genital repulsion is also common, even among sexuals (arousal fogs that over and that's how they end up haveing sex). If you're under 17 your orientation could still be developing. A minority go as far as 20. But if you desire to make out but haven't then you could be a part of the majority of sexual women who require foreplay to trigger their desire for sex. So even if you are currently averse, foreplay/arousal can perswade your mind otherwise.

I'm a college student, so I guess that could be a possibility. But I don't really "desire to make out." Not at all, actually. Some days I'm curious. Other days I'm a little grossed out. Seeing it can be arousing, but I don't know whether I would want to do that myself. The only thing I really ever desire is closeness. I do like hugs cuddles and being close to my friends and family. And of course, the more comfortable I am with them, the better. But that's never anything sexual, obviously. The thing is, for me a lot of things that make me feel very vulnerable make me uneasy. Which is why I'm not sure I would be able to handle either sex or foreplay for that matter. I over-think things A LOT. I don't know the meaning of the word "relax." I feel like I would have to be extremely comfortable with a partner to even consider any of that. But... who knows what the future will bring, I guess...

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