scicheetah Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I want to start by saying that I am a guy and I do have a boyfriend. I know for a fact that I am bi-romantic at least. But when it comes to sexual attraction I'm not so sure. I enjoy sex but that's just part of the libido. And to me it feels like I'm attracted to certain parts of people but not that I always want to do something those parts. I like looking at a man's penis on occasion but the only one I ever do anything with is my boyfriend's. With that in mind, sometimes it feels more like an obligation than a sexual attraction. On the other side, I enjoy the look of a woman's breasts but I don't care for a vagina. I always feel like I'm having trouble with trying to have sex and sometimes it just feels like I'm going through the motions. I do enjoy some sexual interaction but it feels like I'm somewhere in the middle of everything. A few months ago, I read a book where the main character is figuring out that she is asexual and that lead me to write my own story about an ace. Since then I've been kind of trying to figure out where I'm at. I like looking at these parts and the idea of working with these parts but I don't always enjoy the actual act of working with the parts. Any suggestions? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 For starters, I'm not sure there are many people in this world that find genitalia attractive... Next up, attraction is a funny thing. If you consider it as a reaction you have to someone/something (that may cause a desire for sexual interaction) then many asexual people here experience it, and many sexual people don't. So it's a really dumb way of determining sexuality. However - the desire to act upon attraction, or the general desire for sex, is clearly where sexual and asexual folk differ. So, regardless of whether you're attracted to your boyfriend - or anyone else for that matter - do you ever experience a desire or impulse for sexual contact? It can be very subtle, and for some people doesn't kick in until foreplay is already happening. If you've never experienced this, and as you say, feel like you're "going through the motions" when sex is happening, you might be asexual. Whether or not you enjoy the interaction is not applicable either. What if you never had sex again, how would you feel? Indifferent? Relieved? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scicheetah Posted August 9, 2016 Author Share Posted August 9, 2016 Honestly, I don't have sex often anyways. If I never had sex again, it honestly wouldn't bother me. It just feels like I can be stimulated but not really feel like it's anything special when I am having it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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