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Asexuality/Sexuality Spectrum


Darth Tribble

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Darth Tribble

I know it is discouraged to ask others if I am asexual, but I would like some guidance in finding my sexual orientation. Also, I am a male, in case that is important.

I have identified as asexual since I was 16, and I will be 20 in a few days.

Currently, I am having second thoughts about my orientation.

I do masturbate because I like the experience. However, I can only masturbate while thinking about someone I find aesthetically pleasing, even fictional characters. That doesn't mean I want sex with that person, I just need release and that is the only way I can do it. I tried doing it without thinking about anything and I just cannot do it.

I have read other threads where it was the opposite for other asexuals and that they couldn't masturbate while thinking about someone. Is there anyone here who identifies as asexual and feels the same thing I do? Is it incompatible with Gray Asexuality?

Seeing as I have never had sex or been in a relationship, I am open to the possibility of being demisexual.

I am pretty much indifferent about sex. I used to find intercourse disgusting, but Idk if I still find it repulsing or just mere indifference.

Idk my romantic orientation since I have never dated nor been in a romantic relationship, mainly out of shyness and social anxiety. I've narrowed it down to aromantic, heteroromantic, and or demiromantic.

Most people I find romantically attractive are people I have known before I actually felt that way about them. Does this sound like demiromantic.

There is a large area covered by gray Asexuality, but when does a person cross that line into Sexual?

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Darth Tribble

I know it is discouraged to ask others if I am asexual, but I would like some guidance in finding my sexual orientation. Also, I am a male, in case that is important.

I have identified as asexual since I was 16, and I will be 20 in a few days.

Currently, I am having second thoughts about my orientation.

I do masturbate because I like the experience. However, I can only masturbate while thinking about someone I find aesthetically pleasing, even fictional characters. That doesn't mean I want sex with that person, I just need release and that is the only way I can do it. I tried doing it without thinking about anything and I just cannot do it.

I have read other threads where it was the opposite for other asexuals and that they couldn't masturbate while thinking about someone. Is there anyone here who identifies as asexual and feels the same thing I do? Is it incompatible with Gray Asexuality?

Seeing as I have never had sex or been in a relationship, I am open to the possibility of being demisexual.

I am pretty much indifferent about sex. I used to find intercourse disgusting, but Idk if I still find it repulsing or just mere indifference.

Idk my romantic orientation since I have never dated nor been in a romantic relationship, mainly out of shyness and social anxiety. I've narrowed it down to aromantic, heteroromantic, and or demiromantic.

Most people I find romantically attractive are people I have known before I actually felt that way about them. Does this sound like demiromantic.

There is a large area covered by gray Asexuality, but when does a person cross that line into Sexual?

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There really isn't a large area covered by grey asexuality. Grey sexuality, sure. That's the area between asexual and what's perceived as "normal" sexuality (even though most of this grey area is in fact very common and normal).

Anyway, if you think about good-looking people while masturbating, that doesn't disqualify you from being asexual. If a good looking person were lying there naked in front of you, would you have any innate desire to have sex with them? This isn't so much a would you/wouldn't you question as it is an examination of your natural desires. If a beautiful naked person were lying in my bed in a seductive pose, I might want to sit there and look at them for a period of time to enjoy the image, but I wouldn't want to have sex with them. I can think of sexual situations when masturbating, but these don't reflect any actual real life desires of mine. What you've described is similar to that, do it doesn't contradict asexuality.

As for your romantic orientation, with demi orientations you don't really know until you know, you know? I mean, the fact that you need to get to know someone before you feel romantic towards them is very very common. Love at first sight is rare. Do you want a committed relationship with someone? Do you see yourself with a partner down the line? If those answers are both yes, you're probably romantic. If those answers are no, you're probably aromantic (or possibly demi). If those answers are "????????" then you could be any of these, which is quite common because who can really make sense out of love and relationships? Most of the western capitalist economy hinges on the mystery of romance. ;)

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Brbtherescookies

You may want to do some reading on autochorissexuality. It's basically that you enjoy masturbation and sexual fantasy about other people, but not about yourself, and that you're essentially uninterested in sex with other people.

My personal experience is that I very much enjoy sexual fantasy and masturbation as long as the people having sex in those fantasies are not (not not NOT) me. I usually find that fictional characters work best, because I don't really enjoy thinking about people I know in sexual situations. I am completely and totally uninterested in having real life sexual relations with anyone. I guess I'm heterosexual since I prefer to fantasize about people that are of the opposite gender, but I don't find that label particularly useful to me since it doesn't really have many real-life applications.

What you are describing for yourself may be autochorissexuality, which falls in grey-a spectrum, or it could be something else- just putting that term out there for you in case it's useful to you.

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Autochrois is a completely normal person; most asexuals, as well as alot of sexuals are it, so such a thing doesn't need a name, nor do you need to broadcast how you fap. If someone doesn't desire sex with anyone (for sexual or emotional pleasure) then they're asexual, simple as that. How you masturbate doesn't change your orientation. And autochrois aka anego IS NOT under the gray umbrella.

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