SidTheKid Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've personally never had a sex dream and I was wondering if this is a common occurance in the ace community or not. However I've had romantic and sensual dreams, like cuddling, holding hands, generally cute things like that. I've asked a few people and got varying responses so I thought it would be easier to get a grasp if I got more answers. So, please let me know! I'm really interested to hear your responses! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've never had a sex dream. I had a dream once where I hugged the guy I had a crush on, and I had a dream once where a guy I knew kissed my cheek. That's it, as far as I can remember. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Sometimes i dream my complicated unrequited feelings get requited. And i have erotic dreams as well, i have libido, i just can't stand sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Naali Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've had a few, yes. More cuddling ones though. TW maybe. Most of them have involved almost getting raped or Stockholm Syndrome style layout (as the latter, it was always because I romantically liked the person). I've also had a couple about my RL crush/love. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Feather427 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've had a few "sex dreams." Mostly my dreams would focus completely on plot and then just sort of fade out with the implication of sex. In my dreams nobody ever took their clothes off, because even sleeping I didn't want to think about that! I've never really had romance dreams either! ☺️ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RB-Louise Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I had one, but everything was technical in it. Almost as if I was reading from a high school health class (or wherever they learn about those kinds of things) textbook. That kind of thing. I don't even think I was the person involved in it. But besides that, not really. A couple of dreams about my friends, but in a close friendship, not dating kind of way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
012 Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Pretty rare but have had a couple of sex dreams but that was years ago, nothing recent. I've had a lot of romantic dreams though. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ArteMiss Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 No, I've never actually had a sex dream or romantic dream, even kissing or anything of the sort. I mean, I've had those awkward dreams where I'm just randomly naked or something, but nothing that would be actually considered sexual. I'm just glad to hear that I'm not the only one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflytotheMoon Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 Here's a little TMI. The times I've had erotic dreams it's rarely me interacting with someone. It's more that I want that person to do something to me. Based on one of the fetishes I like to think about. I do get excited in the dream, even if they're not actually doing anything. It often leads to me waking up having an orgasm. Which, for me, is a pleasant surprise. I'd usually rather have it that way than with my husband or even myself. As for romantic. I have those a little more. Sometimes I'm kissing or touching someone. It's, at most, sensual, never, sexual. Many times I just see someone I like & want to be near them. Sometimes I get to be with them, many times not. I wake up with this feeling of longing just as I have when there's someone I really care for, but, can't be with. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 No sex or romance dreams but I did have a dream where my favorite boy band were wandering around outside my house because they were lost and needed to contact their manager so I let them inside. Somehow it was REALLY IMPORTANT that before they do ANYTHING they absolutely needed PB&J. So we all ate PB&J together, worrying about how to contact the manager when my favorite member of the group was just like "wait, we can use your phone!" Genius at its finest. Oddly enough I've had a few dreams where I have... a penis? Which is odd because I don't know what a penis looks like in reality but my mind seems to think it's like a finger without the joints or the nail and like... alarmingly red. And like the dreams have absolutely no context. Just me looking down and BOOM. Freaky finger. @__@ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tototodile Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've never had sex or romance dreams. I've had dreams in which unrelated things were extremely arousing, like driving a car, or being naked, but other than that, nothing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
OttRInvy Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've had erotic/sensual dreams, but I struggle to remember any romantic ones...? Even when I was younger and thought simply having a male friend=a crush, I don't think I had romantic dreams about them. Perhaps there were some where dream-me had amorous feelings for dream-someone, that I'm just not remembering, but I doubt it would have been explicitly romantic, just because I feel like I would be able to remember it then... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ninimusic Posted August 9, 2016 Share Posted August 9, 2016 I think I've had some erotic dreams, but not often and they're always disturbing, because they are always about taboo things that make me uneasy when I wake up... (I can't really describe them, because I don't really remember the details). I've also had "romance" dreams. Usually, it's a man hugging me from behind. That's it. I don't see his face and there is no context (or at least, that I remember). When I wake up, I feel all warm and I want to stay in bed forever. I really like those dreams :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J.T. Grey Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Since I'm a little bit on the more sexual-side of the ace spectrum (as a lith), I can say I have had sex dreams where I initiated it if I knew I could have a wet dream. My romance dreams make me really embarrassed for some reason (hur dee dur its my lith talking) and I can get really uncomfortable if someone is holding my hand or hugging me in a dream. It's nice I guess, but if it's someone I have an attraction to as opposed to a stranger, that makes all the difference of me not caring to me being uncomfortable in my embarrassment. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ianjthorn Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I've had a few-ish sex dreams. They're almost never positive though. In most of them I've wanted to escape. As for romance dreams, they are also pretty few, and it's more about comfort and warmth and less about romance. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Adam_Jensen Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 Are sex dreams a real thing ?? Never had them truth be told.But after all I rarely have dreams. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jammer68 Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I don't remember my dreams. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted August 14, 2016 Share Posted August 14, 2016 I've had a few, yes. More cuddling ones though. TW maybe. Most of them have involved almost getting raped or Stockholm Syndrome style layout (as the latter, it was always because I romantically liked the person). I've also had a couple about my RL crush/love. Oooh, thank you! And I aways thought I were the only one with this kind of disturbing dreams. The regularity depends. Some months I have none, and then every other night or a few times a night. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yinlotus93 Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 I've had romantic dreams. Mostly about other people (usually fictional characters) but sometimes involving me. (was more common in my preteen to teen years). They'd usually involve things like holding hands, hugging, and general romancey stuff like that. (I'm pretty sure a lot of it had to do with my frequenting of the romance section of Fanfiction.com back then tho. lol) They still happen occasionally, but can be months or even a year or so before they'll happen nowadays. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mermaidy Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 I've had "sex" dreams where someone "has sex" with me or "rapes" me by doing something unrelated like staring me in the eyes for a second (which counts as sex in the dream idk why), usually followed by me getting pregnant and freaking out that I'll have to give birth which is one of my worst fears Quote Link to post Share on other sites
binary suns Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 I've rarely had sex dreams. they've been stuff like... no genitals kinda like a doll, or we're wearing clothes, or we're "having sex" but there's no actual contact, I guess as if we're actors on a play. and I mean I've had sex. it's kind of silly 'cause if I purposefully imagine sex to see if it is attractive to me... I can imagine it in detail, although I feel kind of gross doing it tbh . so it's not for lack of imagination or experience. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tgif Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 The only thing I've had close to a "sex dream" was one where I was kissing my crush, but I distinctly remember how it was weird for me and him- we both didn't enjoy it that much. This was before I discovered I was asexual, and looking back I think this was a sign. Actually, now I remember having a few odd dreams like that before I found out I was ace, but they were more symbolic instead of literal, like one where I was going to meet him somewhere to have sex or something, but he wouldn't come or I got there and forgot what I was even doing. Basically, any time I tried to have sex in a dream, something would make it so it wouldn't work out. Maybe this is just a coincidence, but I wonder if it could symbolically represent my asexuality. And the only reason I ever tried to have sex in a dream was out of curiosity, because I had always assumed I was straight and thought I would like sex or something. Sometimes my dreams are a bit lucid like that. I rarely ever get even close to a sex dream though, especially after identifying as asexual. Occasionally I have a romantic dream. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I've probably had more romantic dreams than I have had sexual, but there are definitely sexual ones . . . (TMI) like the time I had sex in the corridors at Hogwarts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SidTheKid Posted September 30, 2016 Author Share Posted September 30, 2016 The closest thing I've had to a sex dream was when I dreamt I was married and I went down on my dream wife. Then we just cuddled and I made her and our kids breakfast. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SylviaDragon Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I have had a few but the circumstances were very...odd. I sometimes dream as a completely different person. Different age, species, gender, orientation, ect- i can have dreams where I am someone who does not even know that I, the dreamer, exist. So if I engage in something, its something that in character for that person and not myself. If i'm having normal dreams where I am me and the opportunity for sex presents itself, i always decline. Sometimes finding myself in a sexual situation is so jarring and out of character for me that it even makes me realize that I am dreaming! then i get to ditch the beefcake and go on an adventure :P I wish i had more cuddle dreams though. =/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Yes I have had lots of sex dreams in my life. So it makes me wonder if I'm ace or not :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 If i'm having normal dreams where I am me and the opportunity for sex presents itself, i always decline. Sometimes finding myself in a sexual situation is so jarring and out of character for me that it even makes me realize that I am dreaming! then i get to ditch the beefcake and go on an adventure :P Cool! Lucid dreams are awesome! 8) Yes I have had lots of sex dreams in my life. So it makes me wonder if I'm ace or not :) You might be, you might not be. But look at it like this . . . you might also be an alien in your dream, but that doesn't mean that you're an alien in real life. What happens in your head is often vastly different from what happens in reality, so we can't really say that just because we fantasize about something doesn't mean that we'd actually go and do it. Just because you fantasize about getting kidnapped by a bunch of villains doesn't mean you desire to be kidnapped by a bunch of villains, right? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tanzanite Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 No sex dreams, but I've had plenty of romantic ones. Normally my dreams take place in a different world that's similar to ours with some noticeable changes (some casinos where you have to dress up in formal attire to gain entry (to aim for the atmosphere they were going for), castles still exist, but they've been abandoned and no city would claim them despite being in sturdy shape, and a really futuristic city that's actually not too expensive to live in (I'm assuming it's because they're using a different source of power for electricity, but I'm pretty sure it's not mainly solar. Geothermal power, maybe?) are some examples that come to mind). So yeah, that was a pretty weird change. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mikasa Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I don't think I've ever had a sex dream. I've had dreams involving kissing/romance though, and I always feel kinda weird after waking up from one of those dreams. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ahoy_there_acey Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 Yes, but its rare. Most of the occurrences its other people having sex and i just seem to happen upon them like i've stepped into a scene in a tv show. Awkward lol. Romance is rare too. I kissed someone passionately in a dream. I remember waking up and being more anxious over that than when i have nightmares. Its disorientating and... weird hah. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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