Acquired Asexuality

[Aqua Blue]

I think I started this whole thing, and I apologize. I have been thinking about this since I posted. I don't think loss of libido was the right word. I actually have not experienced sexual attraction ever. I think if I had been in a more understanding marriage, I would have been a more willing participant...does that make me a grey asexual? Now I would say I am sexually repulsed, more acurately totally not interested. I still wish for my special someone, but I really doubt Imwill find them.

I obviously pushed some buttons unintentionally. sorry

[Cobie]

Hi Aqua Blue, 🙂

You are a lovely and considerate person to apologize, but there definitely is no need for it. Just a nice discussion going on. And, I would not have liked it if there were no replies at all to my first topic - so thank you very much for getting the ball rolling. 🍰 🎂 🍧

My position is that only self-identification is a criterium. Pick whatever label your most comfortable with and change it whenever you want to. Nobody agrees on the labels anyway.

I hope you will find your special someone soon.

[Cobie]

It may be that my wife's doing something similar, depends on what she figures out about why she enjoyed sex when she did. And enjoying it because your partner does is perfectly valid in itself of course; just not as intense and innate as wanting for yourself as well.

Maybe.

True;

True alas.

[Cobie]

Hi Sally, thank you for your second post. 🙂

I now get the difference you make between celibate and asexual, thank you. 🍰

For me - turning Ace was due to a change in my thinking, and unrelated to (an unchanged) libido.

[Cobie]

Hi Blondbeard, thanks for your second reply. 😊

I quote,

"I thought the definition of being asexual was not experiecing sexual attraction and that's what happens to many women when they get old.

I can understand that some asexuals can have libido and can masturbate

but I can't see why somebody who don't have libido and don't feel sexual attraction and neither masturbate should not be considered asexual."

End quote.

I totally agree.

[Blondbeard]

AsexuaIity is never having had that desire to connect sexuaIIy with others (for sexuaI and/or emotionaI pIeasure) in the first pIace

Is it? Who says?

Ah yes I forgot, I'm on the wrong site. This isn't the site for those peopIe with no desire to interact sexuaIIy with others, ever, that's not asexuaI. It's just broken. Because hey, asexuaIs want to fuck Iike everyone eIse right? sometimes at Ieast, yeah? You're onIy sexuaI if you want to fuck 24/7 from the age of 13 untiI the day you die. If there is any point during that time you don't feeI a desire for sex, you're asexuaI!!!

The definition of asexuality on AVEN is indeed inclusive enough that women after menopause who have lost interest in sex can fall under it. If they can't be considered asexual, then neither can a large chunk of the asexuals on this site.

Okay so now every woman who doesn't desire sex anymore after menopause (which is a huge chunk of them) or after having kids, is asexuaI. I Iove how the percentage of asexuaIs just keeps on getting higher and higher, isn't this just so homeIy?? Soon Iike 40% of the popuIation at Ieast wiII be asexuaI. And I Iove how hormonaI/medicaI issues are now incIuded under the asexuaI category too.. Even though such things can be treated, making asexuaIity a medicaI issue as opposed to an actuaI orientation, but the more the merrier, yes?

Hello PanfictosaurusAsex, welcome.

Thank you very much for your post.

I refer to the definition as displayed on top of every Aven page - An asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. And, I'd like to draw your attention to the absence of the word 'never'.

'Wanting sex' is the definition of libido, I think.

AVEN defines sexuaI attraction as the desire for partnered sexuaI contact with someone eIse ;)

MedicaIIy, I have a high Iibido (an abundance of sex hormones, you can ask my doctor!!, and a mind that goes to sexy things often) but I have no desire to have partnered sex, and never enjoy it when I do have it (though there is nothing wrong with my physicaIIy) ..I just can't enjoy something I don't want. There are many peopIe on this site with Iibidos just Iike mine, and no desire to have sex with anyone (which, by AVENs definition of sexuaI attraction/asexuaIity, means they're asexuaI)

But peopIe twist the definition however they want around here. We may as weII change the name of the site to ASAN (the asexuaIity specuIation and confusion network) :P

EDIT: ..I want to add an L in there to make it ASLAN[/size] [/size] [/size]

Sorry but there's a high percentage of women after 45 that don't experience sexiual attraction for anybody, in some cases they are even sex repulsed.

The definition of asexuality in this web match exactllt what many woman experience after 45, but you can change the definition of course, to suit what you want that that it means to make you feel better.

[Telecaster68]

Sorry but there's a high percentage of women after 45 that don't experience sexiual attraction for anybody

My wife for one... and I can't see any difference between a post menopausal woman who has no libido or attraction to anyone, and an asexual with no libido, for all practical purposes.

[Blondbeard]

Sorry but there's a high percentage of women after 45 that don't experience sexiual attraction for anybody

My wife for one... and I can't see any difference between a post menopausal woman who has no libido or attraction to anyone, and an asexual with no libido, for all practical purposes.

Basically because there is no difference if we chose this site definition. I think that at the end tags are not even important what is important is what makes happy a person or a couple, nothing else. Life is so hard sometimes that I think we all deserve to be happy and deserve respect from other people.

[Cobie]

I quote Blondbeard,

"I think that at the end tags are not even important what is important is what makes happy a person or a couple, nothing else.

Life is so hard sometimes that I think we all deserve to be happy and deserve respect from other people." End quote

A very lovely thought indeed and I agree totally.

[R_1]

Yes it's very common to Iose interest in sex as a resuIt of hormone imbaIances and stress etc after pregnancy, during Iong-term iIIness, after menopause, even during a Iong unhappy marriage with Iots of fighting etc, and for some peopIe just a resuIt of getting oIder (Iike 70+), whatever. That's NOT aquired asexuaIity, it's caIIed ''reIativeIy normaI''. AsexuaIity is never having had that desire to connect sexuaIIy with others (for sexuaI and/or emotionaI pIeasure) in the first pIace.

Neuroplasticity/Brain changes can literally override who you are supposely born to be. There is zero evidence against the idea that brain changes can alter orientation, and we have suggestive evidence it can (Medical cases, transition alteration, Diamonds study, rat study). And, there are zero differences between someone who lost all interest in sex (likely to stay that way since) and someone who never had the desire in the first place. Both can easily fall under AVEN's definition, and it is actually way more fair for those who likely completely lost their sexuality with 0 chance of being sexual again to say they're ace.How? Imagine a 50 yrs old once heterosexual dude for some reason lost his sexuality at age 28 and he has a wife. Which do you think will go better?

Her husband telling her he's asexual since he was 28 yrs and he sees no evidence of it being back for ever or her husband telling her he's heterosexual with seemingly lost desire. The second one will lead to way more heartbreak. Asides, the reasoning is just not limited to marriage, but also small talks and communicating who you functionally are to others.

[Guest]

Yes it's very common to Iose interest in sex as a resuIt of hormone imbaIances and stress etc after pregnancy, during Iong-term iIIness, after menopause, even during a Iong unhappy marriage with Iots of fighting etc, and for some peopIe just a resuIt of getting oIder (Iike 70+), whatever. That's NOT aquired asexuaIity, it's caIIed ''reIativeIy normaI''. AsexuaIity is never having had that desire to connect sexuaIIy with others (for sexuaI and/or emotionaI pIeasure) in the first pIace.

Neuroplasticity/Brain changes can literally override who you are supposely born to be. There is zero evidence against the idea that brain changes can alter orientation, and we have suggestive evidence it can (Medical cases, transition alteration, Diamonds study, rat study). And, there are zero differences between someone who lost all interest in sex (likely to stay that way since) and someone who never had the desire in the first place. Both can easily fall under AVEN's definition, and it is actually way more fair for those who likely completely lost their sexuality with 0 chance of being sexual again to say they're ace.How? Imagine a 50 yrs old once heterosexual dude for some reason lost his sexuality at age 28 and he has a wife. Which do you think will go better?Her husband telling her he's asexual since he was 28 yrs and he sees no evidence of it being back for ever or her husband telling her he's heterosexual with seemingly lost desire. The second one will lead to way more heartbreak. Asides, the reasoning is just not limited to marriage, but also small talks and communicating who you functionally are to others.

I actually own a few books about neuroplasticity and it's not just something magical that happens for no reason. And losing interest in sex as a result of hormone imbalances and/or other medical conditions is not neruplasticity and it's not asexuality. That's an actual scientifically proven medical condition that *can* be treated with the right hormones, diet etc (if the medical condition causing the imbalances in the first place is treated) ..You'd get lynched if you said "you can legitimately be homosexual as a result of illness and hormone imbalances" but it's fine to say that about asexuality? Why is asexuality the ONLY "special" orientation that gets a these other special conditions? There are sooooo many reasons someone can be asexual now it's utterly ridicuous. Yes, very rarely peoples sexual orientation can change (it's extremely rare) but having a medical condition and losing interest in sex as a result of it is not the same thing! That's a medical condition and saying that's asexuality is just confirming what those people who say "asexuality is just a hormone imbalance" believe.

Stop making asexuality this special orientation that someone can "become" for all sorts of different reasons. Gay people aren't gay as a result of sickness and hormone imbalances, nor are asexuals okay? Sure there are people who lose interest in sex BECAUSE they're sick and have hormone imbalances, but that doesn't make them "asexual" just like it doesn't make them gay. Give it a different name like "sickness induced loss of libido" (which is what it is) ..Don't make out like asexuality is something normal and common that "happens" to many people as a result of hormone imbalances, sickness, old age, poor diet, weight gain etc. It's fucking offensive.

[Sally]

My wife for one... and I can't see any difference between a post menopausal woman who has no libido or attraction to anyone, and an asexual with no libido, for all practical purposes.

You may not, but you're not the woman.

[Telecaster68]

What do you think it might be then? How would you characterise the difference?

[Nigellaseed]

Something that is predisposed is completely different from something that is acquired?

[Sally]

The difference is in the experience of the woman. As a lifelong asexual, I never wanted or liked sex. I had no experience of being sexual, so when I went through menopause, I did not miss sex, I didn't feel less like a woman, I didn't feel differently toward my male partner, I didn't feel like this was the beginning of the end. Many of those feelings are experienced by menopausal sexual women. And they may indeed be experienced by women who contract illnesses which affect their sexuality.

[Guest]

The difference is in the experience of the woman. As a lifelong asexual, I never wanted or liked sex. I had no experience of being sexual, so when I went through menopause, I did not miss sex, I didn't feel less like a woman, I didn't feel differently toward my male partner, I didn't feel like this was the beginning of the end. Many of those feelings are experienced by menopausal sexual women. And they may indeed be experienced by women who contract illnesses which affect their sexuality.

Yep that.

Sorry but there's a high percentage of women after 45 that don't experience sexiual attraction for anybody, in some cases they are even sex repulsed.The definition of asexuality in this web match exactllt what many woman experience after 45, but you can change the definition of course, to suit what you want that that it means to make you feel better.

Making asexuality into something regularly experienced by post-menopausal women, or people with illnesses that affect their sex drive etc, takes all legitimacy away from what asexual women have experienced their entire lives ..We didn't experience that whole "being a sexual person who desires sex and losing that as a result of menopause/illness/childbirth etc" because this is who we are, not what we have become. Yet you guys are making asexuality into this special orientation that includes all the people who lost all drive for sex as a result of illness/hormonal changes etc. That's just again giving an orientaion label to a normal thing that sexuals experience (like saying you're on the "asexual spectrum" if you want sex with someone until you get to know them *eye roll*) ..Asexuality is an orientation just like homosexuality in that you can't *change* it no matter how much you know about neuroplasticity. You don't "catch" it. It doesn't "happen" regularly to women all over the world on a daily basis just because they went through menopause or became severely ill or had a baby or whatever - those are actual medical issues. Asexuality is not a medical issue or a hormonal imbalance!

"Aquiring asexuality" is like saying if a homosexual person forced themselves to have heterosexual sex for long enough, they'd "aquire" heterosexuality. Or if a heterosexual woman developed vestibulodynia (an extreme vaginal pain disorder that makes penetration impossible) she'd slowly "aquire" homosexuality because she doesn't need to be penetrated with a penis for that. Don't you see how you're totally iIlegitimizing innate asexuality by turning it into a relatively normal thing that many sexual people experience?

The definition of asexuality in this web match exactllt what many woman experience after 45, but you can change the definition of course, to suit what you want that that it means to make you feel better.

And there are many sexuaI peopIe (even some on AVEN) who don't experience ''sexuaI attraction'' the way it's most commonIy defined in the asexuaI community. That doesn't make them asexuaI though. Just makes them sexuaI peopIe who don't Iook at peopIe and get horny and want to fuck them based on this 'reaction' they are having to that persons appearance or presence or whatever. It's actuaIIy a minority of sexuaIs who experience that, regardIess of what music videos wouId have you think.

And you understand that most peopIe trying to describe asexuaIity on the web have IiteraIIy no idea what they're on about? It's either teenagers basing everything they know about sexuaIity off things they read on TumbIr, or peopIe who are misinformed about what asexuaIity is (ie doctors who assume there has to be something medicaIIy wrong with someone for them to be asexuaI) .. There are very, very few accurate definitions of asexuaIity out there that aren't basing their ideas around misunderstandings of normaI sexuaIity or the assumption that asexuaIity is rooted in hormonaI issues/anxiety/depression etc.

[Nigellaseed]

I think the two exist Pan. I just think the experience is different for every woman or man just like Sally said. They are both relevant. No two people are the same.

[Guest]

I think the two exist Pan. I just think the experience is different for every woman or man just like Sally said. They are both relevant. No two people are the same.

Yes, these two experiences we are discussing exist. One is caIIed asexuaIity. The other is caIIed ''Ioss of sex drive for _______ reasons''. They are two compIeteIy different things.

Show me a 100% heterosexuaI person who ''aquired'' homosexuaIity as a resuIt of .. what? years of forcing themseIves to have sex with peopIe of the same gender? An inabiIity to have heterosexuaI sex so they were abIe to change their innate orientation and begin to desire sex with peopIe of the same gender, with no interest in having sex with peopIe of other genders? Or vice versa, a homosexuaI person who forced themseIves to have heterosexiuaI sex for Iong enough that they became heterosexuaI and no Ionger had any interest in or desire for sex with peopIe of the same gender. NeuropIacitisity, yes? ..WeII, no. You read stories aII the time about homosexuaIs who had heterosexuaI sex for decades, they Iived heterosexuaI IifestyIes and immersed themseIves in ''normaI heterosexuaIity''... Yet they were stiII homosexuaI, and miserabIe pretending to be heterosexuaI.

[Nigellaseed]

Just like you mentioned about people describing asexuality on the web...until we have experienced menopause ourselves maybe we would understand more about the possibility of acquiring asexuality. Are we really right to question people's experiences unless we have undergone it? In the same way I would never question somebody who claims to have been asexual all their life and their right to claim that.

[Sally]

Yup -- just as women wouldn't claim to understand what erectile dysfunction is like, men shouldn't claim to understand what menopause is like. Just...don't.

[Nigellaseed]

Yep, I am in the peri phase and have a few friends who have and still are going through the menopause and my understanding is that everybody seems to be experiencing something completely personal and their experiences have some similarities but unique to the individual. So, until I have ultimately have experienced it myself I don't make any claims on how it will change me or not change me.

[Nigellaseed]

Just had a chuckle to myself Sally about your heading: I don't do PMs - nothing personal, just can't deal with them. I thought it meant Pre-menstrual syndrome. I don't deal with them either!! :)

[Guest]

Just like you mentioned about people describing asexuality on the web...until we have experienced menopause ourselves maybe we would understand more about the possibility of acquiring asexuality. Are we really right to question people's experiences unless we have undergone it? In the same way I would never question somebody who claims to have been asexual all their life and their right to claim that.

I think you're missing the point?

I thought SaIIy was saying that men saying "a woman who has gone through menopause and doesn't want sex anymore must be asexuaI" may need to taIk to the woman first. Does the woman herseIf ID as asexuaI or not?

Because we have a Iot of 'oIder' men come to this site saying ''My wife is asexuaI now that she's finished menopause, she herseIf doesn't ID as ace but I know she is, she fits aII the descriptions, heIp!!'' ..I assumed that's what SaIIy was referring to (it's aIso not just oIder men. Many men come here IDing their spouse as asexuaI whiIe maintaining that she herseIf does not ID as such, and I assume women do that about their possibIy-ace husbands too I just haven't seen it)

I have actuaIIy met very few women here (weII, none, though I guess we have some here) who say ''I was a normaI heterosexuaI and Ioved having sex when in the mood, just Iike anyone eIse, untiI after menopause, now I'm asexuaI!!'' the women themseIves don't seem to see it as ''aquired asexuaIity'' but more ''as naturaI outcome of menopause that many women experience'' (some are upset by that, some are not) ..It seems to be mostIy men who come here and say their wives are asexuaI as a resuIt of menopause (or chiIdbirth, or iIIness - aII seen commonIy here from men saying their partner is now ace). I am not actuaIIy arguing with anyone who has directIy said ''I'm asexuaI as a resuIt of menopause'' I'm arguing with the men cIaiming that women become asexuaI after menopause (and the idea in generaI that asexuaIty can be warped and twisted enough that it becomes an ''orientation IabeI'' for normaI medicaI conditions/normaI sexuaI disfunction experienced by peopIe aII over the worId daiIy, just as many here try to use it as an ''orientation IabeI'' for normaI aspects of sexuaIity Iike ''desiring sex but not caring about appearance'' etc)

I apoIogise if I misunderstood you SaIIy, but NigeIIa that doesn't change my stance on this. AsexuaIity isn't a treatabIe medicaI condition, for one, and two, other peopIe keep cIaiming someone 'fits aII the boxes for asexuaIity because of menopause/iIIness/whatever': That person themseIves isn't here though saying ''Yes I am asexuaI, heIIo'' ..I'm not going to yeII at that person and say ''no you're not'', I'm arguing with the peopIe making cIaims for others based on definitions they have read of asexuaIity and definitions of menopause (and generaI definitions of sexuaI dysfunction/Ioss of sex-drive etc in women). They have read these definitions and said ''Hey that sounds Iike the same thing, post-menopausaI women are asexuaI! That's 'aquired asexuaIIty!''' ..

(and Iets keep in mind that a certain few peopIe in this thread saying that about post-menopausaI women being asexuaI aren't asexuaI OR post-menopausaI.. They are IiteraIIy just going off definitions they have read and equating the two experiences)

[nanogretchen4]

If someone appears to have a permanent untreatable loss of libido as a result of a medical condition, I think whether they are asexual is a matter of self identification. If someone describes themselves as a sexual person with a medical disability, that would suggest an intent to work around the disability or try to regain some degree of sexual function. They want to have sex despite the challenges of their disability. If someone describes themselves as asexual, that suggests that their lack of interest in sex is intrinsic to their identity and they have no intent to change the situation. They don't want to have sex.

[Guest]

If someone appears to have a permanent untreatable loss of libido as a result of a medical condition, I think whether they are asexual is a matter of self identification. If someone describes themselves as a sexual person with a medical disability, that would suggest an intent to work around the disability or try to regain some degree of sexual function. They want to have sex despite the challenges of their disability. If someone describes themselves as asexual, that suggests that their lack of interest in sex is intrinsic to their identity and they have no intent to change the situation. They don't want to have sex.

Yes I agree with that, though I have known post-menopausaI women who don't care that they've Iost their sex drive and stiII don't ID as asexuaI. Some women (and men too) have stopped pIacing much importance on sex by that age, so the Ioss of sex-drive doesn't seem Iike such an issue for them, if that makes sense?

What I personaIIy am disagreeing with (just to cIarify for peopIe reading) is others saying ''That person is now asexuaI! they went through menopause, Iost their interest in sex, and they don't even seem to care that much about it!! I've read the definition of asexuaI and the definition of Ioss of sex-drive and sounds Iike the same thing to me!! DefiniteIy a case of acquired asexuaIity'' ..When actuaIIy what this reaIIy is just a normaI aspect of aging that many peopIe experience. Or a normaI resuIt of being terminaIIy iII or whatever.

I mean reaIIy, if someone has a Iong-term iIIness that is causing them pretty severe pain, AND they've Iost their sex drive as a resuIt of menopause and/or as a resuIT of the iIIness itseIf, and they're not that concerned about their Iack of desire for sex.. Can you reaIIy just go and sIap the IabeI 'asexuaI' on them because the ''definitions match''? I mean, I can't imagine many peopIe in that particuIar situation reaIIy wouid be that concerned about sex when you've got such a serious iIIness you're Iiving with as weII as having no sex drive etc. If that person themseIves says ''I'm asexuaI, I'm joining AVEN for support'' I'm not going to yeII at them. But I AM going to argue with other peopIe sIapping the IabeI ''asexuaI'' on that person just because ''they match the definition of asexuaIity now after having seemed reIativeIy normaI sexuaIIy when they were younger, this is acquired asexuaIity!!''

[R_1]

Yes it's very common to Iose interest in sex as a resuIt of hormone imbaIances and stress etc after pregnancy, during Iong-term iIIness, after menopause, even during a Iong unhappy marriage with Iots of fighting etc, and for some peopIe just a resuIt of getting oIder (Iike 70+), whatever. That's NOT aquired asexuaIity, it's caIIed ''reIativeIy normaI''. AsexuaIity is never having had that desire to connect sexuaIIy with others (for sexuaI and/or emotionaI pIeasure) in the first pIace.

Neuroplasticity/Brain changes can literally override who you are supposely born to be. There is zero evidence against the idea that brain changes can alter orientation, and we have suggestive evidence it can (Medical cases, transition alteration, Diamonds study, rat study). And, there are zero differences between someone who lost all interest in sex (likely to stay that way since) and someone who never had the desire in the first place. Both can easily fall under AVEN's definition, and it is actually way more fair for those who likely completely lost their sexuality with 0 chance of being sexual again to say they're ace.How? Imagine a 50 yrs old once heterosexual dude for some reason lost his sexuality at age 28 and he has a wife. Which do you think will go better?Her husband telling her he's asexual since he was 28 yrs and he sees no evidence of it being back for ever or her husband telling her he's heterosexual with seemingly lost desire. The second one will lead to way more heartbreak. Asides, the reasoning is just not limited to marriage, but also small talks and communicating who you functionally are to others.

I actually own a few books about neuroplasticity and it's not just something magical that happens for no reason. And losing interest in sex as a result of hormone imbalances and/or other medical conditions is not neruplasticity and it's not asexuality. That's an actual scientifically proven medical condition that *can* be treated with the right hormones, diet etc (if the medical condition causing the imbalances in the first place is treated) ..You'd get lynched if you said "you can legitimately be homosexual as a result of illness and hormone imbalances" but it's fine to say that about asexuality? Why is asexuality the ONLY "special" orientation that gets a these other special conditions? There are sooooo many reasons someone can be asexual now it's utterly ridicuous. Yes, very rarely peoples sexual orientation can change (it's extremely rare) but having a medical condition and losing interest in sex as a result of it is not the same thing! That's a medical condition and saying that's asexuality is just confirming what those people who say "asexuality is just a hormone imbalance" believe.

Stop making asexuality this special orientation that someone can "become" for all sorts of different reasons. Gay people aren't gay as a result of sickness and hormone imbalances, nor are asexuals okay? Sure there are people who lose interest in sex BECAUSE they're sick and have hormone imbalances, but that doesn't make them "asexual" just like it doesn't make them gay. Give it a different name like "sickness induced loss of libido" (which is what it is) ..Don't make out like asexuality is something normal and common that "happens" to many people as a result of hormone imbalances, sickness, old age, poor diet, weight gain etc. It's fucking offensive.

I'm aware neuroplascity is not a magical thing, and I know hormones has nothing to do with neuroplascity. And for the records, if someone has proven evidence of brain changes, and that person feels as if his orientation or her orientation changed to heterosexual/bisexual/homosexual/asexual and there is a strong convincing case to be made, who am I to argue against that person's identity change when there's nothing ruling out such a event? Extreme sexual orientation changes isn't common, and from what I gather in my learning using studies, it happens in 1 out of 1500 (Only one partly confirmed case in a questionable treatment place and the others failed) to as rare as 1 in 5000 case, and that is pretty fuckin' rare.

And asides, imagine a functional person who only lost all interest in sex due to biophysiological changes, and evevery medical intervention to restore sexuality failed. In the next 20 yrs, still like that. You can label that person asexual because there is literally zero differences between that and those who never had a sexuality. An asexual and that person may respond similarly,and think similarly asides from maybe having sexual memories.

And you're aware sexuality is a nebulous concept, right?

And speaking of sexuality changes, people I met here who lost interest into sex didn't missit one bit. I'm on the same boat. I would love to destroy my libido and my remaining reminscent of sexuality to be destroyed, but at least I am not interested into having sex since around May 2010 (I'm going at 23 with still no interest). One I met feel the same.

[Guest]

I'm on my phone so can't quote properly

"You can label that person asexual because there is literally zero differences between that and those who never had a sexuality."

No for the last time, YOU can't label that person asexual! Just as a sexual man can't read the definition of asexuality then read about a woman losing interest in sex post-menopause and say she's asexual based on the definitions. That's for the person themselves to decide, not you or anyone else. (And if post menopausal women who lose their sex drive, old people who lose their sex drive, sick people who lose their sex drive, etc, are all asexual then the percentage of asexuals just skyrocketed because suddenly everyone experincing prolongued sexual dysfunction is asexual, but that's a different story entirely)

[R_1]

Considering how nebulous sexuality as a concept, you might as well argue that there is a lot more asexuals than we think and you know you cannot argue away the fact that sexuality isn't coherent as much as you would like to believe otherwise.

[Guest]

This is the same thing that's happening all over these forums. It's people wanting to make a "label" on the "ace spectrum" for normal aspects of sexuality that sexual people all over the world experience every single day. Only you haven't even come up with a special word, you've just applied an entire sexual orientation label (asexuality) to actual medical conditions! Like saying "oh if that man can no longer get an erection for his wife and doesn't want to take viagra he's homosexual" ..Um no he's experiencing sexual dysfunction and/or maybe he's not that interested in sex with his wife anymore so doesn't care about the sexual dysfunction. You can't go an apply an entire sexual orientation to his experience of not being able to get hard anymore and not giving much of a shit about that. Not all sexual people LIVE for sex.. Some don't CARE about their loss of sex drive but that doesn't make them ace no matter how much YOU want to label them as such. Let them identify as that for themselves or leave them alone.

[binary suns]

celibacy is what can be "acquired"

asexuality can never be "acquired" that doesn't make any sense. to acquire is to buy or obtain an object or asset for oneself... the phrase "acquired asexuality" TBH I find rather degrading...