contourtionisht Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Hey everyone, I'm new. These are some of the things about me that I listed. I think I may be asexual. But I'm not sure? And if I am, where do I fit on the ace spectrum. I don’t want to have sex. I’ve never felt uncomfortable talking about sex. My fantasies never go past kissing. I could go without having sex. Ever. Watching sexual scenes does not make me want it. I don’t understand “hot”. I’d rather do another activity with my partner than have sex. I understand why people might like lingerie. But isn’t it uncomfortable to wear? A naked body doesn’t intrigue me sexually. Conversations about sex with my ex-partner seemed a burden to get through. I also struggle with OCD and anxiety. I had a phobia too which I got over. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yatogami Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 You sound very ace to me. But you do not sound averse to touching (asensual). You also do not seem against relationships (aromantic). But you clearly have a defined sense of asexuality going on. I would say you were a Heteromantic Asexual. Welcome to the club Quote Link to post Share on other sites
touching-not-so-much Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Yes newcomer, I have pretty much the same thoughts. Since I'm also questioning, I can only say if you are asexual, so am I, and likely the reverse. I'm calling myself asexual for now til some better explanation comes along for me (which I highly doubt). Welcome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 If you're worried about anxiety possibly affecting your asexuality, it's unlikely to be true. There are many aces with anxiety. I've seen some believe that their past experiences have interfered with their sexuality, which is okay to think too if it feels right. You do sound asexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 First of all, hello, and welcome to AVEN!! :cake: Asexuality is usually defined as "a lack of sexual attraction and/or a lack od desire for partnered sex". From what you've written it sounds like that could fit you, but ultimately it's up to you to decide. OCD, aniexty, and phobias don't nesecarily affect sexuality, so I wouldn't worry to much about them when trying to find a label for yourself. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PixieCat Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Hey there and welcome! I've been going through that kind of questioning too, but AVEN is a really great place to talk about your sexuality and meet people in the community! You sound ace to me, but I'm in the same boat right now :P Again, warm welcome to AVEN ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paige. Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 You seem Hetero-Romantic Asexual, like me. Lol Welcome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
contourtionisht Posted August 6, 2016 Author Share Posted August 6, 2016 Thanks everyone. That helps. What about emotional trauma? How does that affect sexuality? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 Sexual trauma might affect a/sexuality for some people, but it doesn't have to. For the most part, sexuality is some intrinsic to you, and sexual trauma, while it might change your personal opinions about sex, will usually not change your sexuality. I'd say if you think you're asexual and want to identify that way, you shouldn't let sexual trauma in the past invalidate that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
contourtionisht Posted August 7, 2016 Author Share Posted August 7, 2016 Hmm. Okay. Is sexuality fluid or is it biological? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Hmm. Okay. Is sexuality fluid or is it biological? I know this is a late response, but since no one responded, I thought I'd comment in case you were still looking for an answer. The issue of whether sexuality is fluid or biological (or both, or neither) is kind of debated, so sometimes answers will vary based on who you ask. In my opinion and from what I've seen, a person's sexual orientation generally seems to be biological in the sense that they don't get to chose it, and can't change it if they want to. I know for me at least, my sexual orientation was predetermined, and nothing I could have done (or can do in the future) would have turned me into a sexual person. However, sometimes in rare cases, for reasons outside of the person's control, their sexuality might change or shift into something else. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
contourtionisht Posted August 16, 2016 Author Share Posted August 16, 2016 Hmm. Okay. Is sexuality fluid or is it biological? I know this is a late response, but since no one responded, I thought I'd comment in case you were still looking for an answer. The issue of whether sexuality is fluid or biological (or both, or neither) is kind of debated, so sometimes answers will vary based on who you ask. In my opinion and from what I've seen, a person's sexual orientation generally seems to be biological in the sense that they don't get to chose it, and can't change it if they want to. I know for me at least, my sexual orientation was predetermined, and nothing I could have done (or can do in the future) would have turned me into a sexual person. However, sometimes in rare cases, for reasons outside of the person's control, their sexuality might change or shift into something else. Thanks a lot. That makes sense. MultiQuote Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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