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arousal but no sex drive? (and overall confusion)


confusedfaery

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confusedfaery

I'm not sure if this has been done/answered before but I'm questioning my asexuality and things like that-I experience...arousal I guess you could say, from porn and images like that...but I have no desire fuck those people. I haven't really experienced a "sexual action with another partner" so I'm not sure how I will react to that. I feel no sexual attraction or arousal to people irl though, as far as I know. however, I have read many different definitions for "sexual attraction" and I'm not sure which one to believe or one that fits me. I don't know if porn or things like that and the reaction I get to that is just arousal or sexual attraction. I'm also not sure if they're the same thing. I'm a bug over thinker so I could easily be an non asexual and really have no purpose here. I could also be a really confused asexual. I'm not really sure what my question is here honestly. to sum it all up, I really have no desire to have sex with anyone but I experience some arousal from porn. HOWEVER (idk why caps oops) for me genitals are kind of disgusting but just so much that I can tolerate it but I have no desire to stare at an image of a vagina or dick for an hour. anyway, i'm also very young and could just be "underdeveloped". I know that I should just wait it out and descover myself as I get older, but I'm an impatient little fuck and want to know now. so...

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That's called a completely normal reaction that almost everyone has regardless of orientation. Your masturbatory habits do not change your orientation. The only requirement for asexuality is not desiring sex with anyone; nothing more. If you're under 17 then your orientation could still be developing. A minority also bloom late as far as 20. Though there's no way to tell if someone is demisexual prior to it simply happening, so that could actually happen at any age. If you desire to make out but haven't or haven't with anyone you want to, then I'd hold off on a label because half of sexuals need foreplay to trigger their desire for sex. Also, being disgusted by genitals is actually common for sexuals, but it's arousal that momentarily fogs that over for them and is how they end up having sex.

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I'm 23 and pretty much in the same boat. I have no desire to have sex, and I don't experience any arousal or attraction beyond platonic towards anyone in real life, but I do feel arousal at visual media (although eroticism in things like films or adverts usually just irritate me - if I'm not looking at it for that purpose, it just gets in the way).

And as Star Bit said, genital revulsion isn't abnormal, and your sexuality can change even beyond puberty, so don't worry about getting it 'wrong'. You can always change your mind as to how you define your sexuality.

It would also be worth looking up aegosexual / autochorissexual.

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It would also be worth looking up aegosexual / autochorissexual.

As said, that's just a normal person; no need to give such a thing its own title when 90% of people have experienced it, nor does it change anyone's orientation. In fact, such a thing already has a term, and for a long time too, and you'll notice it's common when hearing it; autoerotic. It's extremely common among both sexuals and asexuals, nor does anyone need to know how another person faps; which is what the term is declaring. As said, the only requirement for asexuality is not desiring sex with anyone and nothing more. Anything else that may accompany that is just personal variation; as all orientations have (e.g. not all gay men are into anal sex, but they don't go by a separate orientation now do they; nope, still just gay).

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I masturbate (spelling?) and have a very specific kink, but I have never found anyone sexually attractive, nor desire sex with anyone. I have no problem identifying my self as asexual.

Regardless, it doesn't matter if you are asexual or not you would still be welcome here. There is also the whole grey spectrum of the ace orientation (and then we are not getting into the aro orientation), which proves that orientation is not a simple on-off switch. (More correctly it is a whole kaleidoscope of aspects working together to form a whole).

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"Of the ace orientation"? Maybe it's just your wording, but it sounds like you think Gray-sexuals and Gray-asexuals are asexual; they aren't. They're just abnormal sexuals.

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As said, that's just a normal person; no need to give such a thing its own title when 90% of people have experienced it, nor does it change anyone's orientation.

90% of the population is right-handed, doesn't invalidate the use of the term 'right-handed'.

In fact, such a thing already has a term, and for a long time too, and you'll notice it's common when hearing it; autoerotic.

Autoerotic refers to people becoming aroused without external stimuli (such as porn). Aegosexual refers to becoming aroused by visual stimuli without imagining yourself participating in it.

It's extremely common among both sexuals and asexuals, nor does anyone need to know how another person faps; which is what the term is declaring. As said, the only requirement for asexuality is not desiring sex with anyone and nothing more.

Using just the term 'asexual' (in a context like this, when discussing sexuality) implies you're completely devoid of sexuality, and don't feel arousal. Saying you're Aegosexual adds clarification that you do, in fact, have a libido, enjoy arousal, find people arousing, but don't have any desire to have sex with said people. You imply that someone who enjoys masturbation has exactly the same sexuality as someone who never experiences any form of arousal.

Anything else that may accompany that is just personal variation;

Is this not a place for discussing the variations of asexuality?

as all orientations have (e.g. not all gay men are into anal sex, but they don't go by a separate orientation now do they; nope, still just gay).

Aego isn't a separate orientation to Asexuality, it's a subset of it. If I was gay but found anal sex disgusting, having a word to clarify that specifically within the gay community would be a very good thing for me. Not only does it justify my own experiences by nature of other people also experiencing it, it also makes understanding between potential partners much easier. If, as you see it, grey-romantic is just a form of being romantic, why do you feel the need to clarify it in your bio?

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Actually it's a forum for everything, but there are no variations of asexuality. As said, there's ony one; not desiring sex. A gay man not desiring anal sex isn't a variation of homosexuality, it's just a personal preference. Orientation refers to WHO you desire sex/romance with, not HOW. A majority of sexual women are "anego" (it's spelled with an N; the first time it was coined the creator used the wrong prefix), but even if they knew of the term they wouldn't go by it because it serves no point; no one needs to know how you fap. Asexuality DOES NOT mean devoid of sexuality. A majority of aces masturbate and a majority use some form of erotica to do so. And yes, they have the same orientation as non-libidoists kuz they both DON'T DESIRE SEX, it's that simple. Yes, having a term for gay men who don't desire anal would be good, but no one but tumblr would create a sexual orientation out of it. Those communities have nicknames for such things (e.g. Stone from the lesbian community). And we already have a term for it; Libido/Libidoist asexual. I identify as Gray-romantic because it serves a purpose of informing a partner of needed information, but NO ONE needs to know how you fap.

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