Hello :)

[Cirrostratus ~]

Hi everyone,

So I’m ace and still kind of taking it all in (I MAY have spent the majority of last week up all night lurking … ). In retrospect I should have realized it earlier, but it wasn’t something I really thought about. While everyone else was getting boyfriends and girlfriends, I was going, ‘yeah, that’d be nice someday, maybe.’

I did eventually have one and it was weird. I enjoyed spending time with him, but I remember thinking ‘Again? We made out last week. Can’t we just cuddle?’ We definitely had different views on/feelings about sex and it caused a lot of strife. Reading about the experiences here has helped me see where he was coming from and become more aware of my own feelings. I’m starting to understand his “I need to have sex to feel closer to you,” at least in a conceptual sense. He was generally a good sport about it, but I did feel pressured and tried to compromise.

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/135333-models-for-autochorissexuality/ feels very relevant to me.

I’m 23 and biologically female (mentally? Well, who knows, not I)

[Ace of Amethysts]

Hi, Cirrostratus and welcome to AVEN! May I tempt you with a selection of cakes?

[WinterWanderer]

Hi and welcome!

I was also guilty of browsing through the forums for quite a while when I first found AVEN. :p It was a lot to take in!

I hope you find more answers as you get more acquainted with the site :)

[Hermit Advocate]

I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to make out all the time. It seems that's all my ex wanted to do. As for compromising, while it is a good thing to do to try to make your relationship work, don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Welcome to AVEN.

[timewarp]

Welcome to AVEN :)

Always happy to see ice clouds around. :P Here's some cake for you:

[deltaX]

Hello, and welcome to AVEN!! :cake:

My story is actually very similar to mine- if you swapped out a few details you totally could have been describing me. I think you'll find that you're not alone in how you feel, and that you'll be able to to find a lot of like-minded people here. I'm glad that you decided to join the forums, and hope that you enjoy being a part of the asexual community! :)

[ben8884]

Welcome to AVEN! I visited the forums before signing up too.

[Cirrostratus ~]

Ace of Amethysts,

I was tempted! I partook in the merriment of cake batter froyo tonight. :)

Hi, Cirrostratus and welcome to AVEN! May I tempt you with a selection of cakes?

timewarp,

This is really intricate. It also reminds me of my grandma's ceramic Christmas tree (which is white with red birds and always lays on top of one of those lace doilies).

Welcome to AVEN :)

Always happy to see ice clouds around. :P Here's some cake for you:

Let's do the timewarp again, yeah?

I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to make out all the time. It seems that's all my ex wanted to do. As for compromising, while it is a good thing to do to try to make your relationship work, don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

That relationship is no more (at least not in that sense), but I still think this is good advice. It was said partly as a reminder to myself? First relationships are always a learning experience. There were a few times we started something, only to abort, and even once when I flat out said no. I do wish I was more assertive though.

Thanks for the welcome and cake!

Also, cake for everyone ! :cake: