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Am I really asexual?


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For some time, I have really doubted my sexuality. I'm hetero to some extent, but not completely? Like I get aroused and all, but it would never really result in sex or activities related to it. The idea of sex also disgusts me. I never really picture myself in a sexual situation. Is this asexuality or is it something else?

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I strongly suggested checking out some of the pinned threads in this forum, they may help you out and answer any question or new questions you may have in more detail. Though, we'll still be more than happy to answer them if you couldn't find the question/answer you're looking for.

Some asexuals get aroused and some do not. Correlation does not equal causation. There could be completely different reasons why some may or may not feel arousal. What you described seems to me to be sex-aversion or sex-repulsion (not the same as sex negative, by the way). To be more specific, it basically means dislike or strong disgust about sex for oneself.

I could relate though, I could never really picture myself in a sexual situation either. It just seems so out of place, like I just don't belong and just not in my character.

Is it asexuality? Maybe. It could also be something else. Though, not to rule anything out, but just to only keep things in consideration.

I suggest checking out those pinned threads here and perhaps read other people's experiences and if you happen to relate (don't worry too much if you don't though, everyone can experience the same things differently). You could ask yourself the questions: have you ever been sexually attracted to anyone, did you feel any desire to have sex with someone?

If you have anymore questions, please feel free to ask.

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touching-not-so-much

That echoes the experiences and feelings of a lot of people here, including myself. We're not entirely numb stones, it's just an internal and/or solo road, not making the beast with two backs and bumping uglies. There can be physical and sexual reactions and processes and events that go in in a person, perfectly natural, but in most cases, it isn't sexual attraction to people and it isn't for partnered sex. Cuddling, sometimes even foreplay, but sex itself is either repulsive, boring or more trouble than it's worth. Only you can decide if you think this fits you, and it's okay to try the idea and orientation on and see if it fits - nobody's grading our papers. =) :cake:

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If someone doesn't desire sex it's asexuality. Nothing else is required.

If someone feels romantically about the opposite gender then that's heteroromantic. If it's just thinking they're good looking, their personality is cool, or just wanting to know them, than that's not romantic and that person may be aromantic.

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In general, I would second SkyWorld's advice to look at some of the pinned threads in this forum. There is a lot of information about asexuality out there, but those threads do a pretty good job of summing up most of it and answering common questions. We're always happy to answer any additional questions you might have, but you're the only one who can know before if you're asexual, so ultimately doing some research on your own might be the most helpful right now.

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction and/or a lack of intrinsic desire for partnered sex, so if you think one or both of those conditions fit you, then you'd fit the definition of asexuality. Because arsousal and libido can be a psyhcial reaction rather than just a response to sexual attraction, some people can be asexual, yet still get aroused, so that doesn't disqualifiy you.

If you do feel sexual attraction, but just choose not to have sex because you are disgusted by the idea of having sex, you might be sexual but sex-repulsed or sex-averse. (Of course, you can also be asexual and sex repulsed if you don't experience sexual attraction and are also disguised by the thought of having sex, but often sex-repulsion and asexuality are confused, so it's important to consider that it's possible might be sexual and sex-repulsed.)

Hopefully that bit of information is enough to get you started, but if you're still confused, feel free to ask for clarification! Figuring these things out can be tough, but I wish you the best of luck! :cake:

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