What am I? Pretty aromantic, attraction, but not to sex.

[a_curious]

Hi!

I recently discovered this ace thing and am currently reading the book about it. I'm trying to figure out if/in what way I'm asexual. Maybe someone can help out, any comments are welcome.

Here's the thing.

I'm male, and I'd say I'm very attracted to females. I've been accused of having low standards. I can get aroused just from hot looking strangers, or after intimate or emotionally getting to know women. I get aroused being close to them, and like kissing and cuddling them. But eventually, things seem to lead to actual sex, and I quickly lose my arousal. The actual act of sex just doesn't seem that great to me. I get more arousal from kissing or just talking or light touching. Sex just distracts me from that and while I can force myself to do it if I concentrate on it, it's not a lot of fun. I can and do masturbate to women, sometimes just as a fantasy, sometimes while I'm in bed with them. Kind of instead of sex. When I fantasize about women, I usually don't imagine having sex with them, I just think of them.

I'm also pretty aromantic. I've never had a steady girlfriend (I'm in my 30s), and I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. Relationships seem mostly terrible to me. I'm not ruling out I'll ever have one, but most of my friends put up with so much crap I'd never even think about it. I have great friends and don't feel alone or lonely.

Any ideas? I'd say aromantic is pretty certain, though I don't rule it out in principle. But I'm confused if what I'm experiencing is sexual attraction, or not. I feel like I'm sexually attracted to women, just not to sex with them, even though I do get aroused doing other "sexual type" things with them.

[AVEN #1 fan]

You sound like a lithsexual or akio(ne)sexual or aposexual or however you wanna call it.

Well, you have sexual attraction you just don't desire to actually have sex, it's pretty much aposexual.

Also you sound heterosexual or gyne/gyno-sexual if you like women.

Hetero-aposexual or Apo-gynesexual is my guess.