kshinae Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Hey everyone! Hopefully the title doesn't come off offensive, but please allow me to explain. You know how straight people may once and a while have fantasies about someone of the same gender? Or homosexual people may have fantasies about someone of a different gender? It doesn't make you any less "gay", it's just that not everyone is 100% their sexuality. I believe sexuality is very fluid and labels aren't 100% and that's okay, it isn't something that needs to be very specific. So I was wondering if the same goes for asexual people. From what I hear, it sounds like asexuality isn't very fluid and is very firm in having a lack of sexual attraction. If you do occasionally have moments where you are attracted to someone, then is it with a different gender or what? Please don't take this as offensive because I'm truly curious. I myself am aromantic but not at all asexual, so I don't know what its like. All answers are appreciated. Thank you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WinterWanderer Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 I myself have never had those moments, but I've heard some aces on this site say before that they're curious to have sex with a male or female, just to see what it's like. Or to see if it "turns on" their attraction. I guess it's kind of like that? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R_1 Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Oh yes, pornography and aces with libido can tell you all about it in details. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Patronus_Cat Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 They could be called greysexuals. They are on the asexual spectrum and can occasionally experience sexual attraction or desire. But the attraction/desire they experience is so low that they probably cannot place themselves among allosexuals. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kshinae Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 So as an asexual you absolutely never experience sexual attraction? Not even like I said before how straight people may think of the same sex sometimes? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sally Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 No, I have never wanted to have sex with another person. Even the person with whom I was in love and whom I have been partnered with for decades. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 I've recently had sex with my boyfriend and while I'd describe the experience as interesting and different, I find it to be neither good nor bad, just is. I like how it has brought us closer together rather than the physical feeling itself Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kshinae Posted July 25, 2016 Author Share Posted July 25, 2016 Interesting! Thanks for not taking my questions offensively, I'm just trying to educate myself more on asexuality and aromanticism :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 For me, I might think about sex as a curiosity, but I've never actually been sexually attracted to someone specifcally. And usually my brief moments of being curious end quickly, because I'm pretty repulsed by the idea of me having sex. There is a large amount of variation in the asexual community, and my experiences don't speak for all asexuals. For the most part though, since gray-asexual is an option, I'd guess that most people who experience sexual attraction sometimes would chose to identify as gray-a instead of "fully" ace. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tyger Songbird Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 There are times I get curious to lose my virginity and to find out what sex is like, but those tend to disappear in a flash. I honestly would be better staying sex-free the rest of my life, but I guess there is a sense where I perhaps do want to discover what sex is really like since I can be considered inexperienced. So yeah, I do have some "moments", I guess. I hope that isn't a dealbreaker for being asexual. I don't desire it to be. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ramiel Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 I've never experienced sexual attraction, but I don't consider asexual to be such a rigid term... Rather, I think the definition can be quite flexible depending on the person, since experiencing attraction isn't something people can decide for anyone but themselves (and labels aren't always a perfect fit). Some people might say that only certain people who meet certain requirements (never experiencing sexual attraction) can call themselves asexual. While other people (and is the code of honour on this site, at least) think anyone who calls themselves asexual can.... There's also this whole grey-a, demisexual thing that makes sexuality a spectrum, just like sexual orientation is a spectrum. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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