kshinae Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 Hey everyone! Hopefully the title doesn't come off offensive, but please allow me to explain. You know how straight people may once and a while have fantasies about someone of the same gender? Or homosexual people may have fantasies about someone of a different gender? It doesn't make you any less "gay", it's just that not everyone is 100% their sexuality. I believe sexuality is very fluid and labels aren't 100% and that's okay, it isn't something that needs to be very specific. So I was wondering if the same goes for asexual people. From what I hear, it sounds like asexuality isn't very fluid and is very firm in having a lack of sexual attraction. If you do occasionally have moments where you are attracted to someone, then is it with a different gender or what? Please don't take this as offensive because I'm truly curious. I myself am aromantic but not at all asexual, so I don't know what its like. All answers are appreciated. Thank you! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ianjthorn Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 It differs from person to person. Most people who find themselves sexually attracted to people, but very rarely, calls themselves gray-asexual. Or possibly ace-flux if they feel like it's an on and off thing. The ones who label themselves asexual often feel none or very close to no sexual attraction. Where we differ most is probably how often we feel arousal, and if we like sex or not. Some aces feel it often, others less. Some enjoy it, some not. Same goes with sex. Even though we usually don't feel very into it, there are still aces who like to have sex. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 The first thing that came to my mind was "Whoops! My mind just went to the gutter!" Usually whenever I hear sex jokes or sex puns (ALL puns are great). Not sure about anybody else, but me personally, that hasn't really happened. I mean, sure I sometimes wonder what sex is like, but I don't often fantasize about sex itself or anyone in a sexual way. Similar to how some people may prefer one sex over the other, or perhaps even sometimes equally, it can be the same in an asexual sense, better known as grey-asexual or grey-sexual. For example, if a person would have a sexual preference of one sex and rarely the other, a grey-a person could lack that sexual attraction and rarely have it. Now, that's just an example, many people experience grey-a differently. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Queen of Wonderland Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 The closest I get to this is wondering what sex is like, or having really unwanted dreams about this topic (blech, no thanks brain). I can't speak for others, but I know that there are parts of the asexuality spectrum that involve attraction, and maybe those people have it? And by the way, anyone who gets offended by this is crazy, because you're very polite :P Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Morning Glory Posted July 25, 2016 Share Posted July 25, 2016 I feel that asexuality is fluid in its own way. I'm sure there are some who think they are asexual at one point but later discover that they are actually Demi-asexual (meaning they don't feel sexual attraction until a bond has been made). Also, it's good to keep in mind how diverse the ace spectrum is... Vs. Heterosexual, homosexual, etc. Now, I personally think the level of diversity within every orientation is more or less the same; the difference is, we have terms for it, and that might make us appear less fluid because of it. And as many have said: everyone is different. For myself, I often am thinking about scenarios, some of which are sexual, but as soon as I start to seriously picture myself in that sexual scenario I find myself unbelievably uncomfortable. I think these "fantasies" that people have (regardless of their orientation) are self conscious ways to discover ourselves (or perhaps they are just day dreams in the more literal sense). There are also times when my friends will tease me, because I can make sexual jokes and comments. They'll laugh and say "and you're the asexual of the group!" And it's true. Sometimes I can be quicker then some of my friends when catching sexual innuendoes, but there are other times when it will take me a minute to understand, or it'll completely go over my head or I just don't get it. There's also the fact that I'm a huge yaoi (boy x boy love) fangirl, my head can go in the gutter, and there are odd moments when something might arouse me... But never has anyone's appearance or presence sparked any sort of sexual attraction in me... I still only have a foggy idea of what that must feel like. I can still feel attracted to others but never in a sexual way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Stealthy Potato Posted August 8, 2016 Share Posted August 8, 2016 I've had a few, but my brain was engaged intensely before any physical reaction happened. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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