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Why am I more confident calling myself asexual?


Devil Kisses

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Devil Kisses

I know I'm definitely not completely asexual. I've definitely felt sexual attraction a few times. I'm not even sure if I'm grey asexual. I've dealt with a lot of social isolation and depression. Gay or queer are probably more accurate labels for me. I just don't feel confident calling myself gay. When people doubt I'm gay I panic. When people doubt I'm asexual I just don't care. I know queer is the best fit for me, but I feel awkward using that label.

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Well with 145 posts here I'd say you've made a connection and relationship with the asexual community. ^_^ I dunno if you've taken the time to relate to the gay community in other spaces but if you haven't made that connection you might be more proud of yourself being around asexuals because they're very important to you (not to say others aren't of course). I feel very proud of the little community we have here but I also relate and notice a little bit of the bisexual community from reddit. If you spend more time around a certain group of people they will become your family and no matter how much you have in common that is what will be most important to you.

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I think it's fine for people to call themselves whatever they want to if it makes them comfortable, even if it's not the most "accurate" label. I'm only romantically and not sexually attracted to men but I still tell people that I'm straight because I feel like that's all they need to know. I'd only discuss my asexuality with the people I'm dating. I also feel uncomfortable with calling myself trans* or transgender despite trying to use that label for a long time so I just refer to myself as non-binary, even though that's still technically transgender. Basically, use whatever word you want, I don't see how it can harm anyone.

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I describe myself as "basically asexual" because that essentially fits. In reality there is more to my sexuality than that but most if it fits under the umbrella of asexuality so I stick with basically asexual.

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Patronus_Cat

Be comfortable with whatever makes you comfortable. If choosing the label asexual makes you feel comfortable, and if you do not really identify with the sexual community (no matter where on the asexual spectrum you are), feel free to use the label as long as it makes sense to you. I find using the label "asexual" to be liberating. I do identify as an asexual after doing a lot of research on internet and introspection. Sometimes you need time to figure out who you are. Until then, choosing or not choosing a label is perfectly fine :)

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Devil Kisses

Be comfortable with whatever makes you comfortable. If choosing the label asexual makes you feel comfortable, and if you do not really identify with the sexual community (no matter where on the asexual spectrum you are), feel free to use the label as long as it makes sense to you. I find using the label "asexual" to be liberating. I do identify as an asexual after doing a lot of research on internet and introspection. Sometimes you need time to figure out who you are. Until then, choosing or not choosing a label is perfectly fine :)

I think the asexual community has helped me out. They're way more comfortable with the grey area. I can identify as grey asexual and most people understand and accept that. Unfortunately I can't identify as grey-gay without people trying to categorize me as bisexual. Right now asexual seems like the only safe label for me. If I identify as gay people tend to think I'm secretly bi. If I identify as bi people think I'm a straight girl who finds girls pretty. One thing I think sets me apart from the asexual community is wanting sex. I think people here tend to be more asexual than me.

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scarletlatitude

You control your own label maker. If you like the label asexual, then use it. If you don't, then change it.

Asexual has definitely helped me because I feel like I'm normal now. I'm in a small percentage of the total human population, but I am normal. There are people like me.

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