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asexual crush


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I have a very hot friend who I said some things to that I thought made sense but he said it made him uncomfortable.

I thought about what I said and I can see why he would think I want sex with him.

I've known him for over 8 years and I do think I have an asexual crush on him but he lives far away anyways.

The only guy I ever told I am asexual doesn't speak to me anymore.

I'm considering telling my friend that I have an asexual crush but I'm afraid he won't believe me and not talk to me anymore.

I am 48 and it really is too late to make a friend like him.

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So you feel something like this?

Romantic attraction - an emotion; so it doesn't translate well into words, but it can be inadequately put as soft/warm/fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation (at least in comparison to one's normality with others). Some people have a physical reaction to the feeling and others don’t (i.e. butterflies in their stomach, heart rate increase, blushing, etc. [though those are also symptoms of platonic nervousness]). Others may react mentally with a dreamy mindset, anxious euphoria, infatuation, romantic fantasies, etc.

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So you feel something like this?

Romantic attraction - an emotion; so it doesn't translate well into words, but it can be inadequately put as soft/warm/fuzzy feelings with some degree of fixation (at least in comparison to one's normality with others). Some people have a physical reaction to the feeling and others don’t (i.e. butterflies in their stomach, heart rate increase, blushing, etc. [though those are also symptoms of platonic nervousness]). Others may react mentally with a dreamy mindset, anxious euphoria, infatuation, romantic fantasies, etc.

Ya, but it took over 8 years.

I think infatuation is a good word.

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Queen of Wonderland

I have a question; what do you mean, you're too old to make a friend like this? I've never really heard of age being a restriction for friendship, unless he's younger than you...

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I have a very hot friend who I said some things to that I thought made sense but he said it made him uncomfortable.

I thought about what I said and I can see why he would think I want sex with him.

I've known him for over 8 years and I do think I have an asexual crush on him but he lives far away anyways.

The only guy I ever told I am asexual doesn't speak to me anymore.

I'm considering telling my friend that I have an asexual crush but I'm afraid he won't believe me and not talk to me anymore.

I am 48 and it really is too late to make a friend like him.

Please, don't worry too much thinking of his reaction, my dear. Maybe he likes you too, but he's a little shy and has been waiting for a sign from you. Be brave and tell him, girl. You can do it. C'mon. Have confidence in yourself.

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nanogretchen4

What did you tell him that made him uncomfortable? Do you actually want to have sex with him, or is it a misunderstanding? If you are actually sexually attracted to him after eight years, I guess you're even more demisexual than I am. I've suddenly noticed I'm attracted to someone I've known for four years, but that's my record so far.

I can't think of any reason why your friend would have a problem with your being asexual if he isn't interested in you romantically anyway, so I guess that's good news/bad news. Honestly, if he told you that whatever you said to him makes him uncomfortable, your best bet for keeping the friendship is to take a step back and deescalate. I would tell him you

are asexual if that is the truth. I would not mention the crush at this time.

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What did you say? :huh: You can always reword whatever he misunderstood. People don't tend to just up and leave their pals after 8 years of friendship.

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I have a question; what do you mean, you're too old to make a friend like this? I've never really heard of age being a restriction for friendship, unless he's younger than you...

He is 18 years younger.

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I have a very hot friend who I said some things to that I thought made sense but he said it made him uncomfortable.

I thought about what I said and I can see why he would think I want sex with him.

I've known him for over 8 years and I do think I have an asexual crush on him but he lives far away anyways.

The only guy I ever told I am asexual doesn't speak to me anymore.

I'm considering telling my friend that I have an asexual crush but I'm afraid he won't believe me and not talk to me anymore.

I am 48 and it really is too late to make a friend like him.

Please, don't worry too much thinking of his reaction, my dear. Maybe he likes you too, but he's a little shy and has been waiting for a sign from you. Be brave and tell him, girl. You can do it. C'mon. Have confidence in yourself.

I'm a guy and there is 0 chance of any sort of a relationship.

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What did you tell him that made him uncomfortable? Do you actually want to have sex with him, or is it a misunderstanding? If you are actually sexually attracted to him after eight years, I guess you're even more demisexual than I am. I've suddenly noticed I'm attracted to someone I've known for four years, but that's my record so far.

I can't think of any reason why your friend would have a problem with your being asexual if he isn't interested in you romantically anyway, so I guess that's good news/bad news. Honestly, if he told you that whatever you said to him makes him uncomfortable, your best bet for keeping the friendship is to take a step back and deescalate. I would tell him you

are asexual if that is the truth. I would not mention the crush at this time.

One thing I said was I want to watch him sleep.

I didn't think it was creepy.

I said something else which I think he interpreted as me wanting to have sex with him but I didn't mean it that way.

There is something else which is definitely sexual that I won't say to him or anyone.

He is bisexual but he will only be in a romantic relationship with women.

I guess I have developed a crush/infatuation with him.

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He is bisexual but he will only be in a romantic relationship with women.

That's called Heteroromantic Bisexual; a type of cross-orientation, which is being talked about more in the LGBT but not under either of those words (sadly alot insisting they're still gay or straight and confusing a bunch of seuxals on what orientations are).

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  • 2 weeks later...

I told him that I would be willing to do physical stuff and he said that makes him uncomfortable (I heard the thought revolts him).

Now I don't think he believes I'm asexual.

Maybe he just doesn't think about stuff.

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Some sexual people don't want their partner compromising; they want sex that's mutually yearned for. So he's not compatible with asexuals at all; ones that can sexually compromise and ones that can't. So really there's only one option; not entering a relationship with him. Unless both of you are ok with an open relationship or polyamory (two different things).

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Some sexual people don't want their partner compromising; they want sex that's mutually yearned for. So he's not compatible with asexuals at all; ones that can sexually compromise and ones that can't. So really there's only one optionnot entering a relationship with him. Unless both of you are ok with an open relationship or polyamory (two different things).

Now that he thinks I want to touch him, he doesn't want me to.

Before he was ok with that.

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