Asexual vs fetishist

[Medowsweet]

What is it considered when your libido is not connected in any way to sex? But you DO sometimes get "feelings of arousal" which you enjoy- they always make you want to experience that feeling more without wanting to have sex. They also !ake you feel emotionally close to the person.

Example: vampire trying not to bite. As long as you are reading or watching this in a movie or book you feel that sorta very pleasent "pulse" or "buzz".

You want to keep watching it. You want the scenario to come up again. You want to be emotionally close to this (fake) person, so you talk to them in your head or through other people if you can, or watch the show or whatever.

If this character has sex on screen or in the movie this has no effect on you.

Is this "fetishism"?

If you can only "get off" to your fetish, and it is unrelated to sex is this asexual or somthing else? Some sort of fetishist thing?

[Ricki]

No not a fetishist, I believe.

It may be a paraphilia. Check this list for something that relates maybe? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

[Queen of Wonderland]

I don't think that's extreme enough to warrant calling it an actual fetish, although I'm not sure how this is asexuality vs fetishism?

[Ricki]

I don't think that's extreme enough to warrant calling it an actual fetish, although I'm not sure how this is asexuality vs fetishism?

I'm putting it as (a)sexual vs fetishism. They idea that there is arousal in a 'kink' but not in the act of sex itself.

[JAKQ7111]

What is it considered when your libido is not connected in any way to sex? But you DO sometimes get "feelings of arousal" which you enjoy- they always make you want to experience that feeling more without wanting to have sex. They also !ake you feel emotionally close to the person.

Example: vampire trying not to bite. As long as you are reading or watching this in a movie or book you feel that sorta very pleasent "pulse" or "buzz".

You want to keep watching it. You want the scenario to come up again. You want to be emotionally close to this (fake) person, so you talk to them in your head or through other people if you can, or watch the show or whatever.

If this character has sex on screen or in the movie this has no effect on you.

Is this "fetishism"?

If you can only "get off" to your fetish, and it is unrelated to sex is this asexual or somthing else? Some sort of fetishist thing?

That sounds similar to my asexual fetish. I experience arousal in specific situations, and I get an intense desire to be emotionally and physically close to the (fake) person, though never in a sexual way. In fact, this fetish was one of my biggest obstacles to coming out as asexual, but my fetish has never been sexual in nature.

[One Winged Angel]

This is a rather complex topic and to be honest and many people feel very differently about this subject.

Many Asexuals can and do have fetishes or paraphilias as well as being Asexual. They have no desire to make physical sex a part of their lives, but may still enjoy the mental imagery or even the practice of a fetish. This does not by itself make the fetishist desire sexual intercourse, and many of these fetishists report textbook Asexual feelings outside of the fetish.

Of course, there are some who would claim that fetishism is in itself a form of sexual activity. In times past, fetishes along with other things were demonized and shunned even by those who held them. They were said to get in the way of "normal, healthy relationships" and it was feared that the fetish may become preferable to intercourse itself. Nowadays there is less emphasis on procreation and more on gratification. Fetishists are now encouraged to practice their 'kink', and it is celebrated and profited by. In this regard, some people would consider a fetishist to be practicing a highly individualised version of sexual expression. It is their 'version' of sex, even if it does not included intercourse. By this hypothesis, the fetishist could be said to be "attracted" to the fetish object or action.

The question of fetishism is the question of how we come to develop such things. I have read many articles and studies on the formation of fetishes, but none of them have managed to convince me. If you find yourself with a true fetish, chances are you have no idea how it came about or why you are aroused by it. All you know is that a certain object or action, sometimes something very strange, causes a strong arousal when it is invoked.

There are many who identify as an 'Asexual Fetishist'. They have a fetish and are aroused by it, may even practice it. However, they do not desire the act of sexual intercourse and feel no so called 'sexual attraction', and do not wish to make sex a part of their lives.

[Medowsweet]

I was wondering if having a (few scenario based) paraphilia made me 'sexual'

Or if the fact that my turn ons have nothing to do with sex or sex appeal and do not lead to a desire for sex then I am 'Asexual'?

I also wondered if that feeling I get when I see my ideal scenarios played out (I want to be emotionally close to and spend time with that person) is what sexual people feel when a member of their preffered sex is "cute"?

And instead of wanting to have sex I sort of want to "trigger their thing".

[Medowsweet]

Also: what is it called if you "have to have one of your turn on senarios to feel get off?"

[Ricki]

Paraphilia's are NOT sexual orientation, it's more of a kink (sort of like lesser-fetishes, to actual fetishes). For example in BDSM then a lot of the time there is no sex involved. Or you can be hetro, but aroused by the opposite sex if they wear/do something you like. It's kinda hard to explain I guess, but it's not the person that is interesting it's the object or activity...

It's actually super common that Asexuals have kinks/fetishes, from what I've seen and it's a big pointer that probably stops other people thinking they are asexual (cause how can you be asexual if you find things arousing?) *sigh*.

I can't really answer what goes through anyone elses brain, no 2 asexuals work the same, neither do 2 allosexuals. But I guess it could be a similar feeling.

And to your last question, that would be a kink/fetish. But just a really specific one xD