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Question about sexual fantasies


ashpenaz

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I do have sexual fantasies, and I do masturbate--but my fantasies are almost always about other people having sex. I'm never in the fantasy. In fact, when I do try to fantasize about myself having sex, it's a big turn-off. I can understand other people having sex, but not me. Is this sort of fantasy typical of asexuals?

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Ok- I know I'm not technically "older asexual" (since this is in that forum), but for my whole life, that's basically been the case- or a fantasy where person #2 is blurred out.

Once the sex idea is directed at me- Nope, Nope, Nope.

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Yes, most asexuals are like this.

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AVEN #1 fan

Well, to me you sound autochorissexual/aegosexual.

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^ Which is just being a normal asexual. Alot of asexuals who end up hearing about that term find no point in identifying as it. How you masturbate doesn't change your orientation. It's not a weird thing to be in the sexual community either; it's very normal there too.

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SorryNotSorry

My fantasies are best described as romantic, because they never involve sex.

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Queen of Wonderland

Yeah, that's pretty typical for an ace spec person.

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I experience myself as detached from my sexual feelings. Even at puberty, I felt they were imposed on me from without, like I was being invaded. For sexual people, their sexuality seems a natural part of themselves that springs up from within. My sexual feelings are more like a gift I don't want, like a complicated bread machine I just don't know what to do with.

I can feel other people's sexual energy. I can tell when a couple has sexual tension, and it's fun to watch from a distance. So, I guess I fantasize about what I think other people are feeling.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

I tend to be oblivious to others sexual energy unless it's made explicit...for example, two colleagues were 'at it like rabbits' in my workplace and I hadn't a clue till the gossip reached me (last, of course).

I tend to treat sex and masturbation as functional behaviours, like sneezing and coughing.

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Guest Jetsun Milarepa

By the way, it took an episode dealing with the angry spouse of one of these adulterers before I got all the gossip on the affair! haha! <_<

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  • 4 weeks later...
HesitantAlien

My fantasies have always been "romantic", hanging out, going for coffee, talking, moonlight walks.Maybe a kiss. Those are extremely rare though, as I rarely feel romantic towards someone. It has to be something really special for me to get those feelings.

Same here, I try other fantasies of a sexual nature and they just feel weird. Not that I haven't tried sexual fantasies, because friends said that's what I was supposed to do I suppose, and part of me felt that was normal, but they never felt right.

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  • 2 weeks later...
AceInDaBlackHole

I have NO sexual fantasies of anyone. My mind goes to a big blackout screen every time the topic of sex or sexual fantasies comes up and I've been like this for as long as anyone ever discussed sex anywhere in my life.

I'm creative in many ways including being an artist so not even pictures outside of myself trigger any fantasies. I had always thought it was an artist thing to see a black screen in my mind but, nope! It's part of it.

I don't think there's necessarily a "typical" when it comes to this, either. It's how you experience your fantasies or lack of them and what that means to you. For example, in my pre-teen years, I "fell in love" with our teen idol of the time. Later in life, when I even understood what sexuality is, I realized I was attracted to the person's talent, their clothes and what their overall look meant to my life direction, such as if they wore adventurous attire that seemed sane to me or THEIR fantasies were more like an episode of Fear Factor; I never even thought of them sexually, in retrospect. That kind of "detail" may or may not be something any one else has experienced but it doesn't make it wrong for me. Sort of like you get the label of a-sexual if you relate to it but then there's all these other issues behind it that make the individual but don't change your sexuality. Does that make sense?

HTH & nice to meet you.

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