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Hi, new here, need help


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Hi? I'm new here, and I mean I've never posted to a chat page and after reading some of the stuff here for the last hour or two can't believe how amazingly helpful places like this must be for the human condition (for want of a better term). Is this the right place to get relationship advice with transsexual women and telling my family and friends that I've recently embraced the fact that I am physically attracted to ts/tg women and no longer want to have this hidden in a dark corner of my life and soul? In my mind happiness is the key to life and I know I can not be while I'm hiding such a fundamental piece of myself from family and friends. Deep down I know who I'm attracted to is no big deal and not really anyone's business but I feel I must, in some way, stop hiding it and from it. Since I began accepting more genuinly this part of myself about 3 months ago I've been lucky enough to become romantically involved with a trans lady for the first time. This has been an amazing experience and I'm really hoping our relationship will develop into something significant and long lasting ie forever. Any response, advice, sharing of similar experience or if could point me, even vaguely, in the right direction would be most welcome. In particular breaking this to family and friends and navigating the idiosyncrasies and dynamics of being involved with a person who identifies as transexual. I understand this may not be the right place so please excuse me for taking up your time if not. This has been wonderful just putting these thoughts and pieces of my soul into words and the world. Hope you are all happy and healthy.

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Hello and welcome to AVEN! I do not have any personal experience in that area, but I'm sure you'll find the advice you're looking for here.

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First of all, hello, and welcome to AVEN!! :cake: :cake:

I would say that you really only have to tell the rest of your family about who you're attracted to if you personally want to. Society today seems to promote the idea that we must come out to people if we are anything but cisgedner and hetero, but if you think your family will be unsupportive, you don't have tell them anything other than you're dating a transwoman right now. You might even be able to just tell your family that you're dating a woman, if you think they won't approve of the fact that she's trans.

I you do decide to tell your family though, I wish you the best of luck! Really, you can't help who you are attracted to, so hopefully your family will be supportive no matter who that is for you. If you're unsure, you can always try to bring up transgender people or dating trans people in causal conversation to see what your family thinks of them them before fully coming out.

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Hi deltaX, thanks heaps for the reply and the welcome. It so incredibly uplifting to have people to talk to about this, who care and sympathise!! ATM family and friends think I'm dating a women. It's just eventually I would like to bring K to family dinners etc, so I'm going to have to come out about this sooner or later as I want her to be a part of my life,the most important part. I think a successful relationship is one of, if not the greatest personal achievement one can have in this stumble thru the dark we call life's journey...and also one of the most difficult. I like your idea about bring up trans dating in casual convo, I'm going to try that soon...Pretty sure mum will read straight thru me but I'm getting to point where I don't mind how I get to point B. Thanks again, very much appreciate your concern, time and thoughts. Will keep u posted of any progress.

ps I'm an instant and whole hearted fan of this site/forum

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Being attracted to trans women is still being attracted to women. Unless you mean you're only attracted to non-transitioned trans women. As for telling your relatives, do they have to know/does your partner want them to know? Or do you mean she looks masculine so when you bring her home the cat's out of the bag anyways? Also, do they even understand trans? That'd really be the first step. And if they never come to then I'd say it's not safe to come out to them as dating a trans person.

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