Analogies for sex

[alien_ariel]

So I've been on this site for about a day now, and I've seen all sorts of interesting ways people describe sex (in terms of their asexuality); like a rollercoaster: not everyone likes it, for example. My favorite so far has to be about it being like monopoly, where you don't feel any particular way about it and you'd do it to bond with someone, but you wouldn't be sad if you never played monopoly again in your life.

I'm planning to come out as a romantic asexual to my boyfriend, so I was looking for other ways to express to him, a sexual person, what sex is like for someone like me. I know cake is the go-to answer, but I want a list I can draw from if he's having a hard time understanding.

Humorous answers would be great, too! If at all possible, I'd like to keep the mood light to make him feel more comfortable.

[Kuebiko]

Reading a book maybe?

Idk, it just popped into my head. You know, some people read one genre, some people read both, some people find all of them exciting, and some people have decided, screw it, I'm sticking with comics.

It's like a preference for genres. Like, as a comic book reader, maybe I find the horror genre a bit off putting, but if you give me enough incentive, I might read it, even enjoy it, but I'll never actually look for a horror story myself.

[tali.lynn]

The best analogy will depend on your level of repulsion/positivity. I'm mildly repulsed so for me it's like reading an embarrassing/bad piece of prose. It's uncomfortable, awkward, boring, and I'd really just rather not! For someone who compromises (not that you have to compromise if you don't want to) it might be like when a friend loves a show that you don't enjoy, but you watch it just because of how happy it makes them.

[kani]

Well since I haven't tried it I'm just guessing, but sex for me would be like sanding a table with sandpaper so I could lacquer it, but it takes ages and yet I never get to actually lacquer it and so I get nothing out of it. And so if I try to explain to someone that I don't get a fine table out of all the sanding I've done, people think I'm either doing it wrong or I don't have the right equipment or maybe I should just try another table, because there must be one for all of us, right? And, I am physically fully capable of sanding a table with my hands using a sandpaper, so it's not that I wouldn't be able to do it, I just don't see what's the point.

It doesn't really work if you think about all the pressure there is towards asexuals and that, but you know, it's good for explaining some things.

[Medowsweet]

I would liken it to a mildly entertaining television show that your SO is really into and you just want to spend quality time together.

Let's use sports as an example.

So, let's say my boyfriend was super into baseball, had money riding on the games, and would hoot and cheer and knock over the table when his team made a play/missed a ball- whatever.

Now, I am not into watching sports on tv. But if it was important to him I could make it fun. I could provide chips and soda or beer or things we both like. I could choose to clap and cheer for his team- sometimes the purely physical act of pretending to be excited can lead to an actual feeling of fun.

I could incorporate things I would like that would make us feel closer, like laying my head in his lap and having him stroke my hair while we sit on the couch.

We could make jokes about half time commercials which I actually do enjoy (tho I think that is football).

We could feed eachother pop corn.

We could have intimate/fun/entertsining conversation during commercials.

I could try to feel what he was feeling and try to empathise or "catch" his enthusiasm.

Yes, sports will never entertain me on their own, but I can make doing his thing fun for both of us if he is willing to meet me part way. Especially if he will then do my thing with me and equally try to enjoy it.

All relationships (and ALL sex, even sexual on sexual sex) should have a good balance of give and take and take the preferences of both members into account anyway.

[chubby turtle]

Bacon. Most people like bacon (heterasexuals.). Some people like sausage or Canadian bacon better. (Homosexuals.). Some people don't eat bacon because it's unhealthy or they have problems towards it (celibate people.). Some people just don't like bacon, or could take it or leave it (asexuals.)

[Guest]

"For asexuals, sex is like… a donut. When we see a donut, we do not have the urge to eat the donut. This does not necessarily mean we hate the donut, or think the donut is disgusting— many of us even like donuts. But we never have any urge to walk over there and eat it. Demisexuals will have the urge to eat the donut only if it their absolute favorite kind of donut in the whole world, and greysexuals sometimes will have the urge to get the donut, and sometimes not. Celibates are on diets." -backroundradio.tumblr.com

[RoseGoesToYale]

Most of my analogies revolve around food (since there are so many different food preferences out there). I do have one hockey/sports analogy, though: Most players like to score goals. Some are snipers and like to score lots of goals. Then there are a few players that only want the assists and either prefer the assists over goals or are indifferent to scoring. Finally, there are players that don't need goals or assists, so they play goalie. Kinda goes for both sex/romanticism.

Another one I use more to describe attraction is magnetism: Some metals are attracted to magnets. Some metals are attracted to each other. Some metals have a different magnetic field, and are only attracted to metals/magnets when they get very close. Some metals are not magnetic, and are not attracted to either magnetic metals or magnets, but are still capable of being in proximity to them.