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Similarities and differences between allosexuals and autochorissexuals


AlexisS

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It may be a redundant topic... But I'm writing it anyways ^_^

* For some of you who may not know the term autochorissexual, I'll copy-paste a summary from a wiki.
"The term autochorissexual was coined by Anthony Bogaert and is derived from ‘autochoris’ which translates to 'identity-less sexuality’. It is a subset of asexuality which is defined as: a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein."
* 'Similarities and differences' I'll state here may not apply to or be exclusive to all allos and autochorissexuals. Afterall, it's just my take on the subject, and I for sure don't represent all autochoris individuals. But personally, these are the most recognizable characteristics I find interesting. Because these two sexualities(or identities or types) seem quite similar from a distance, but at the same time they're so different.
Also, since I'm not quite familiar with allo's thought process and their physical reactions, all of their characteristics described here are my assumptions. Please correct me if any of these sounds unlikely or wrong.
* The term 'autochorissexuality' has nothing to do with the intensity of one's sexual desire(Just like the definition of asexuality). But to help see the differences between allos and autochoris more clearly, I will assume that both allos and autochorissexuals mentioned here have high libido and they masturbate.
* For pronouns, I'll use singular 'they' for allos, and 'I' for autochoris.(I'm very clumsy with English pronouns, please bear with me :unsure:)
Okay.. So here we go.
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-Similar characteristics that could be found from both allosexuals and autochorissexuals-
1. One may want sexual releases from time to time, and may like the sexual pleasure coming from the release.
2. One may get aroused by porns, erotica, smut, etc.
3. One may have sexual fantasies.
4. One may find someone in real life attractive.
Similarity no.1) One may want sexual releases from time to time, and may like the sexual pleasure coming from the release.
Differences
-allo: They may masturbate to get a release, but they may also like to have it done via sexual activities involving others. The latter may be more appealing than the former for some of them.
-autochoris: I may masturbate to get a release. I'd rather NOT have it done and/or shared with someone else even if the opportunity comes. 'Um no, I can take care of it myself. Thanks, but no thanks. :mellow:'
Similarity no.2) One may get aroused by porns, erotica, smut, etc.
Differences
-allo: They may get aroused by the thought of having things in erotica or porns done to themself. They may see themself in the settings or they may identify with/relate to one of the actors/actresses/characters involved in the erotica.
-auto: Hard to pinpoint which part of it arouses me. I may get aroused by sex as a thing. Or I might find the settings arousing. But I never specifically see myself in the setting nor do I see myself as one of the actresses/actors involved.
I cannot understand the motive behind their actions or relate to the pleasures they seem to get from it, but I still find it(erotica) arousing nonetheless.
Similarity no.3) One may have sexual fantasies.
Differences
-allo: May involve themself in the fantasy. Sometimes 1st person POV, sometimes not. May involve real life people.
-auto: Rarely involves real life people. My fantasy mostly consists of fictional characters or celebs, and the interaction between them.
I NEVER imagine myself in the fantasy. As in, it's not in 1st person POV, but rather in 3rd person omniscient. It's not "me watching them", but more like "they exist".
When I say "they exist", I mean "I don't exist" in the fantasy. I don't recognize my identity at all while fantasizing, unless prompted by outside influences(Thus the definition of autochoris = 'identity-less'). And those external influences that induce me to recognize myself usually ruins my fantasy. One of the reasons why I rather avoid reader-insert fanworks.
Here's another analogy of how I feel- there's a hypothetical fourth wall(or maybe an invisible tv or computer screen even within my fantasy - if that makes sense) between me and them. They and I will never going to be interactive(Due to me not existing in the fantasy) and there's no connection whatsoever between me and them.
They are by themselves, I am by myself(who is in a different space).
It better stays that way.
Or my fantasy will go 'puff' and my arousal will die, eventually. (A thought of ME in the fantasy is a huge turn-off indeed. :()
※ For some of you who might have a question along the line of "Isn't that just the same as voyeurism?", maybe I could quote one of the comments I saw on here AVEN which I seconded so hard :
"Hmm, I guess my only issue with the term voyeur for myself, is that my own personal understanding of the term is that it denotes someone who enjoys the very act of watching people, either openly or in secret. So, in that sense the voyeur is still a part of the fantasy. For me, though, it's as if I do not exist at all in the fantasy I've constructed; it's pure enjoyment of the participants in the fantasy and the power dynamics between them. If I throw myself into the mix at all, it generally ruins it for me."
Similarity no.4) One may find someone in real life attractive.
Differences
- allo: They may feel the desire to be sexually involved with the person(if they feel sexual attractions towards them). They may be able to imagine having sex with them.
- auto: Technically I COULD imagine having sexual activities with the person if I TRY. (Thus, it's not spontaneous)
But the thought of it is not appealing nor does it arouse me at all. I may feel indifferent or even get disgusted by the thought.
So, these are the 4 most recognizable characteristics I found about allosexuals and autochorissexuals.
Umm I'm not sure if quoting someone else's comment on my post is problematic or not. I couldn't find the original post. So please let me know if that's an issue here, so I would delete the quote or attribute it to the original poster. :o
This post has no real purpose, but to basically jot down my idea on how I view sexual themes as an autochorissexual(which ended up super long, as usual :wacko:)
Having things dissected has helped my self-discovery process, because I used to think that I didn't belong anywhere (as neither asexual nor allosexual) which was such an agonizing thought. Finding out about autochorissexuality was a big relief because its definition and characteristics rang very true to me. (And I somehow didn't feel right to use only 'gray-a' to describe my feelings.)
Thanks for reading the long post. I'll be happy to read your opinions on this. :cake:
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  • 4 weeks later...
Brbtherescookies

I am definitely auto- (the word is sooo long though, very problematic).

I have never, ever, not once, gained any kind of satisfaction from imagining myself in a sexual situation, and even trying it out was tiresome, because I don't usually think of sex that way.

I've struggled for some time with my identity because I know I'm not fully sexual, but because I masturbate I thought I must not be asexual either (or, more recently, just a really bad asexual).

Being autochorissexual for me is a similar experience to AlexisS' in that I have no problem with imagining sexual acts (sometimes very kinky sexual acts) that involve fictional characters, but as soon as I put myself in the mix, it's a huge turnoff.

Glad to finally have a word to describe what I am- words matter!

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  • 3 weeks later...

It took me a while toying around with the ace spectrum to find the auto term and its meaning and it definitely fits me. How I like to think of it as for me is that whatever I'm writing or watching or imagining is that I'm a ghost watching in someone else's dream. I personally find the idea of me being part of any sexual act disgusting and it makes me feel so disgusted with myself or just grossed out in general.

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It took me a while toying around with the ace spectrum to find the auto term and its meaning and it definitely fits me. How I like to think of it as for me is that whatever I'm writing or watching or imagining is that I'm a ghost watching in someone else's dream. I personally find the idea of me being part of any sexual act disgusting and it makes me feel so disgusted with myself or just grossed out in general.

Auto- is how I'm able to imagine my fictional characters actually having sex, and being turned on by it.

Once I'm in the equation, I'm freaking out over how scary it is to me.

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It took me a while toying around with the ace spectrum to find the auto term and its meaning and it definitely fits me. How I like to think of it as for me is that whatever I'm writing or watching or imagining is that I'm a ghost watching in someone else's dream. I personally find the idea of me being part of any sexual act disgusting and it makes me feel so disgusted with myself or just grossed out in general.

Auto- is how I'm able to imagine my fictional characters actually having sex, and being turned on by it.

Once I'm in the equation, I'm freaking out over how scary it is to me.

^^^^^ That entirely, though its rare for my characters to 'turn me on' because in some way shape or form they're like me almost.

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Auto- is how I'm able to imagine my fictional characters actually having sex, and being turned on by it.

Once I'm in the equation, I'm freaking out over how scary it is to me.

^^^^^ That entirely, though its rare for my characters to 'turn me on' because in some way shape or form they're like me almost.

For me, I guess it's just like watching a movie and feeling turned on by the thought of them having fun together? That's the best way I could think of to explain my experience.

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