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This is an incredibly odd coincidence, @Midland Tyke, as this is part of a jigsaw puzzle in my office right now. It's of bottle caps to old soda brands.

20171018_165242.jpg

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4 hours ago, Snaocula said:

Since I know what you actually typed I'm not misreading that anymore. Just avoid typing things like, I don't know, fizz-juice.

Fizz Juice?

 

Oops, I did it....

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It's not really in the realm of asexuality and/or womanhood, but it's still fun. :D

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butterflydreams
15 hours ago, Snaocula said:

It's not really in the realm of asexuality and/or womanhood, but it's still fun. :D

Speak for yourself :lol:  This isn’t all that different from the conversations I end up in with my girlfriends. 

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Eventually it turns into an absurd joke about... things far too strange to explain.

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2 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

Speak for yourself :lol:  This isn’t all that different from the conversations I end up in with my girlfriends. 

So true. :D I think I'm less reserved to talk about gross stuff because I'm not hiding anything, and I don't need to preserve any delicate femininity to be seen as a proper lady. It might be different if I were romantic, but I'm happy where I'm at. :D

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butterflydreams
13 minutes ago, Snaocula said:

So true. :D I think I'm less reserved to talk about gross stuff because I'm not hiding anything, and I don't need to preserve any delicate femininity to be seen as a proper lady. It might be different if I were romantic, but I'm happy where I'm at. :D

Heh, personally, I’m still always the “prude” in most groups. I’m just not super comfortable with myself I think. I’m getting better though.

 

I wasn’t really raised with any notions of delicate femininity though. I can’t share it on the open forum, but my sister has done...things. I guess sometimes I feel like, “ok, someone in the family has to have some amount of feminine grace.” It’s my style anyway though, so it comes pretty naturally.

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23 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

 

I wasn’t really raised with any notions of delicate femininity though. I can’t share it on the open forum, but my sister has done...things. I guess sometimes I feel like, “ok, someone in the family has to have some amount of feminine grace.” It’s my style anyway though, so it comes pretty naturally.

My sister is much more lady like than me. She used to threaten to send me to finishing school because I wasn't proper enough. :P

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butterflydreams
9 minutes ago, Snaocula said:

My sister is much more lady like than me. She used to threaten to send me to finishing school because I wasn't proper enough. :P

And finish off all those lovely edges that make us love you?! No!!! :lol: 

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27 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

And finish off all those lovely edges that make us love you?! No!!! :lol: 

IKR??? I'm all about being my authentic self. :D

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2 hours ago, Snaocula said:

My sister is much more lady like than me. She used to threaten to send me to finishing school because I wasn't proper enough. :P

You'd finish the school.

 

What a wonderfully ambiguous sentence to write.

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9 minutes ago, Snaocula said:

They'd kick me out for smuggling in sun cream and fizzy juice.

If I understand your mis-reading of my earlier post correctly, the above products (as you mis-read them) have little interest for you.

 

I can see you as a St Trinian's girl, actually...

 

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30 minutes ago, Midland Tyke said:

You'd finish the school.

 

What a wonderfully ambiguous sentence to write.

This reminds me of a reviewer asked to review a book by an earnest budding author. He received the following

 

"Thank you for sending me your novel. I will waste no time in reading it."

 

Beautiful.

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On 10/17/2017 at 3:51 PM, Strawberry ice cream said:

The best thing on asexuality is that when my period is delayed I have no fear of being pregnant. I mentioned it in some other thread that I had really big repulsion of pregnancy and childbirth and delayed period was a night mare.

I concur. Sometimes I wish it would disappear for months like it did during my teenage years. Now it has decided to be regular and it is quite annoying.

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I take BC but still take a week of sugar pills, so I get periods each month. One advantage of this is at least I get to know what weeks are off limits for fun activities. <_<

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Just now, borkfork said:

Like waterskiing and horseback riding? @Snaocula

Yes, those are totally frequent activities in my lifestyle.

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butterflydreams

Maybe it sounds weird, and I hope it doesn't, but I wish I had the organs to give me a period. I know it's annoying, and I know nobody likes it. I probably wouldn't either, to be truthful. But it would make me feel whole in a really important way. And presumably, if I wanted to, I could try to have a baby. *sigh* Life is what it is I guess.

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1 hour ago, Hadley167 said:

Maybe it sounds weird, and I hope it doesn't, but I wish I had the organs to give me a period. I know it's annoying, and I know nobody likes it. I probably wouldn't either, to be truthful. But it would make me feel whole in a really important way. And presumably, if I wanted to, I could try to have a baby. *sigh* Life is what it is I guess.

It doesn't sound weird. Some cis females would think it's an odd wish, but there's a lot we get to take for granted. For some people, if they've had problems related to these body parts, a regular cycle is a sign of health and stability and I'm sure they appreciate regularity for those reasons. There can be very different perspectives in how we feel in our bodies, so we're going to wish for different things. I'd imagine some trans women have heard from cis women "You're so lucky you don't get a period!" while not considering what else that means. <_< I think in general we need to really curb the "You're so lucky" comments as they rarely actually make someone feel better (or at least that's the case for me).

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People rarely think before talking. Some struggle to conceive and don't want to be reminded of it. Some might not ever be able to have a child. Every invasive question has the potential to make someone feel terrible. 

 

I once heard one woman tell another that her infertility was g-d punishing her. WTF is wrong with people. 

 

I've said I wish I could donate my uterus to someone who would use it.  :mellow:

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butterflydreams
4 hours ago, Snaocula said:

I'd imagine some trans women have heard from cis women "You're so lucky you don't get a period!" while not considering what else that means.

I've never heard this, but I know people say it. IMO, it's a total lack of empathy and understanding. Though, to be fair, I'm sure there are some trans women who are like, "hell yes I'm lucky!"

 

3 hours ago, Snaocula said:

I think in general we need to really curb the "You're so lucky" comments as they rarely actually make someone feel better (or at least that's the case for me).

omg, yes I agree with this so much. It really doesn't feel like those comments ever make someone feel better. 

 

2 hours ago, borkfork said:

People rarely think before talking. Some struggle to conceive and don't want to be reminded of it. Some might not ever be able to have a child. Every invasive question has the potential to make someone feel terrible. 

I try hard not to say things like this, or assume that anyone can have a child, or wants to. Having children especially is a really touchy subject and people never seem to understand that. I have friends who's kids are their whole world. I have other friends who are like, "fuck I'm never having kids, thank god my husband feels the same way." And then there's me in that mix too. Not sure if I can have kids of my own...certainly can't carry them myself. But people tend to think about things from their own perspective. So if someone has or wants to have kids and can, they might talk about it flippantly without thinking about how someone who can't might feel. Conversations about kids and having them are excruciating for me, if I'm honest, but I don't ever speak up about it because I feel alone.

 

2 hours ago, borkfork said:

I once heard one woman tell another that her infertility was g-d punishing her. WTF is wrong with people. 

Holy shit that is so fucked up I can't even...

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It irritates me that some people believe that asking someone personal questions is a good way to make someone feel welcome or appreciated. I would much rather people not ask at all if I have a partner or children or whatever, and just learn about that more organically as I choose to talk about those things. Otherwise it's like this:

 

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No."

 

And then something like:

"...girlfriend? I mean, whatever floats your boat."

"...no..."

 

Or:

"Why not? You're young and good looking."

 

Or:

"I think I know just the person for you! I should introduce you to him, you'd love him, he's [some bullshit about what somehow makes this person hot shit]"

 

 

I just don't want to have those conversations. People ask them assuming they're universal, so it's an opening into a "yes, and..." type situation where the person they're asking will have something to talk about further. But when it's a simple "nope" there's nowhere to go. It gets awkward or people get flustered.

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I hate that those questions used to be more just conversational, and it didn't matter the answer (or at least, that's how I interpreted them,) but now when the answer is "nope" people feel the need to reassure me or comfort me or something, like by saying no I am automatically saying "no, unfortunately not. I haven't found a great guy yet and I'm super bummed about it." I find this utterly bizarre, and the indignant part of me wants to say, no I don't, thank goodness, and I don't care to be anyone's girlfriend thank you, and I sure as hell am not interested in being anyone's wife." While the private and introverted part of me wants to just leave them and their questions hanging. 

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Even being partnered, I didn't think it was anyone's business.

 

"Are you married?"

"Nope."

"Boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Oooh. What's his name?"

"No."

"I thought you had a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"So what's his name?"

"No."

"..."

 

The years that I was single I really enjoyed being reminded about one of the many things making me depressed. I was fine with it, until they were done with me.

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Elftober Country
3 hours ago, Snaocula said:

It irritates me that some people believe that asking someone personal questions is a good way to make someone feel welcome or appreciated. I would much rather people not ask at all if I have a partner or children or whatever, and just learn about that more organically as I choose to talk about those things. Otherwise it's like this:

 

"Are you married?"

"No."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No."

 

And then something like:

"...girlfriend? I mean, whatever floats your boat."

"...no..."

 

Or:

"Why not? You're young and good looking."

 

Or:

"I think I know just the person for you! I should introduce you to him, you'd love him, he's [some bullshit about what somehow makes this person hot shit]"

 

 

I just don't want to have those conversations. People ask them assuming they're universal, so it's an opening into a "yes, and..." type situation where the person they're asking will have something to talk about further. But when it's a simple "nope" there's nowhere to go. It gets awkward or people get flustered.

I've been suffering this type of conversation a lot just recently, mainly in the workplace. It infuriates me and makes me feel very uncomfortable. Why am I suddenly expected to justify being single? There is one guy that repeatedly raises it with me, I'm now actively avoiding him.  

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