Asexual Women Musings

[LVG]

My Instagram is mostly dogs, wildlife, nature, and Snow Cone. 

[Snao Cone]

13 minutes ago, LVG said:

My Instagram is mostly dogs, wildlife, nature, and Snow Cone. 

[confusedbat]

On 2017-08-15 at 3:37 PM, Snao Çoñé said:

It sounds like he wouldn't accept a simple "not interested" either. 

Yeah, he definitely wasn't on the "no means no" agenda, it really bothered me. But thankfully he's gone and I'm glad I don't have to deal with him now.

[butterflydreams]

On 8/16/2017 at 10:37 PM, Emmi said:

I feel very different than most people on this forum. I may not like the idea of having sex, but I do want to get married and have kids one day. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess some people that know me IRL would say that I feel pressure from family and religion, but I don't. These are things I honestly desire. Really hope that this is what my future has in store for me. : )

Hey, you're not alone at all. I know that can seem like the dominant narrative for people here, but there are others who want to get married and have kids. *raises hand* You're not alone at all! Go for what you want and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't feel the way you do.

[TulipPiece]

honestly, I'm pretty pissed I can't have a litter of kittens. some people are like, "ew, weird dude, so unnatural." and I'm like, "right, but having a completely bald animal hang from your teet is more natural?" f this. I'm going to heaven and producing as many damn kittens as I want. and. I may even lick them

[katherine-of-earth]

This has probably been said, but:

 

So, I live in the American (estadounidense) South. It's very "family orientated". I have literally never wanted kids and the only reason I would want to get married would be so I wouldn't be lonely when I'm old. I have been telling literally everyone in my family this since I was old enough to understand that I didn't have to have kids. But still, to this day (I'm 22 now) my family still thinks I'm going to change my mind, because heaven forbid that I don't want to have a litter of screaming dependents. Just the knowing smirks of people when I say "I'm too busy with my career", like "oh, these modern women think they want a career when really all they want is babies".  Ugh. 

[Charlie Weasley]

I myself am nervous about having to explain that I just want kids on my own

[Charlie Weasley]

On ‎24‎.‎08‎.‎2017 at 9:42 AM, TulipPiece said:

honestly, I'm pretty pissed I can't have a litter of kittens. some people are like, "ew, weird dude, so unnatural." and I'm like, "right, but having a completely bald animal hang from your teet is more natural?" f this. I'm going to heaven and producing as many damn kittens as I want. and. I may even lick them

? I don't understand this. are you seriously planning to have sex with kittens?

[SaturnOOO]

Welcome, @katherine-of-earth! 

Yeah, I think it's amazing that some people actually do grow to want children and end up being amazing parents. I get the "that will change" with knowing smile a lot, and all I can say is "maybe." Like, yeah, who knows what will happen in the future. But I'm 33, don't want marriage and kids, and have never wanted marriage and kids, so my best hypothesis is that no, it won't change. I don't like the idea of having my own decisions overridden by some biological imperative that everyone seems to glorify. 

What I don't get is that some people I've told I don't want children actually seem hurt by it. Truly, I don't see it as the wrong choice for people who love and whose lives are enriched by their children. It's just not the right choice for me... why do people seem to take it so personally, I wonder? 

[LVG]

I've often wondered that myself. Do they feel sorry for people who don't want children because they think their lives will never be complete?  

[butterflydreams]

25 minutes ago, LVG said:

I've often wondered that myself. Do they feel sorry for people who don't want children because they think their lives will never be complete?  

I think that has a lot to do with it. I know I was really surprised at how much my tune changed on kids. I realized it was something that was always important to me, but I lost sight of it because of the dysphoria. I respect that others may not feel the same though. We all lead different lives, you know? We all have our own values and priorities  

[Snao Cone]

There's all sorts of other things to point at to tell me my life is incomplete. Focusing on the childless aspect is picking low hanging fruit.

[LVG]

I'm just glad my friends and family have resigned to the fact that children are not happening for me. 

[Elftober Country]

4 hours ago, LVG said:

I'm just glad my friends and family have resigned to the fact that children are not happening for me. 

Thankfully my Mum hasn't raised this with me in a while. I think she has finally got the hint (or realised I can barely take care of myself, let alone a kid). I think she's still holding out hope for my brother and his wife. 

[butterflydreams]

On 9/2/2017 at 10:48 PM, Snao Çoñé said:

There's all sorts of other things to point at to tell me my life is incomplete. Focusing on the childless aspect is picking low hanging fruit.

Hehehe, truth. Mind if I borrow this?

 

Really though, it sucks when it's something you want and you couldn't feel farther away from it. I would say this means I need to figure out how to live a unique and different life, tuned to my own circumstances, but I'm really not sure what that means. I always feel joy for friends when they get married, or have children of their own, but after a while, it becomes a little bittersweet, you know?

[Snao Cone]

4 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

Hehehe, truth. Mind if I borrow this?

Go right ahead!

[Machine_Artificia]

On 9/2/2017 at 10:02 PM, LVG said:

I'm just glad my friends and family have resigned to the fact that children are not happening for me. 

Amen.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

My only child daughter says she's not having kids, her boyfriend is from a large family and so far he seems happy with being an uncle, but I wonder, 5 years down the road..I, by the way don't care if she has any kids at all as long as she's happy. PS: What's Instagram?

[Guest]

Just randomly throwing this out there because it's been a really important discovery for me:

https://pcosdiva.com/2016/05/hormone-link-thyroid-and-iodine-pcos/

 

A legit site to back it up:

http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-35-iodine.aspx?activeingredientid=35

[Randomchaos]

I've gotten to the point where people say they are going to get me a boyfriend and I just make a joke of it  I don't care anymore xD tbh anyone who met me wouldn't believe I was ase even if I told them I was  

[querencia]

On 13/07/2016 at 7:00 AM, Quoth The Raven said:

I get annoyed when people like my parents for instance, occasionally suggest to others that I'll get married or have kids one day. Because I always pop right in and tell the person that I'm not and that the only thing they're going to get is grandkittens, if that. And yet the person always acts like I'm joking. Why do they all think I'm joking and going to change my mind eventually?

I used to never think I'd get a boyfriend either, so I suppose in one way that may be a reason why, but still. That and no one in my family knows I'm ace because I don't know how they'd react about it. And they don't 'get' anything in the LGBT+ spectrum. Though I don't think they even know ace is a thing, which makes it a little worse.

I don't even feel like I need to comment because you have quite literally said (almost word for word) the reactions I receive and how I feel about it.  I absolutely love being asexual though. It's one of the most laid-back of all the sexualities, I say!

[iridian]

i always have to hear my mom bubbling about me taking husband and having kids like alllll the time. And it just get worse with time passing -.- all the while ignoring my asexuality since it's a "phase", of course

So for par condicio i just keep ignoring her lol

[Bubbles21]

I have days where I feel helpless that I'm "different" and don't coincide with society's standards. It's so sexualized and I feel I'm too different and less than. Anyone feel the same? I'm having trouble combating these feelings and thoughts and feel like I'm alone

[alibali]

It's not feeling it means we just can't see the importance even while everyone else is. It's like being an alien.

[Snao Cone]

In my 30s my woeful feelings of inadequacy center around my career instead of relationships.

[Skycaptain]

@Snao Çoñé. if it's any consolation, I'm a decade ahead of you and still don't really understand how someone who went to uni has ended up a cab driver, other than the fact that I can't sell myself

[Cimmerian]

6 minutes ago, Skycaptain said:

other than the fact that I can't sell myself

Same. I've always been of the mind that my work and work ethic can speak for itself... who knew internalizing a tendency not to brag about yourself would turn out to be a bad thing in life after it was drilled into us as kids not to brag.

[Tyke]

I'm of the opinion that the last three posters would, more likely that not, be less happy in their jobs (although probably better paid, I grant you) if they had managed to sell themselves better and climb the greasy pole.

[butterflydreams]

41 minutes ago, Snao Çoñé said:

In my 30s my woeful feelings of inadequacy center around my career instead of relationships.

If I cared about my career as a status symbol, I'd be bothered. Mostly I measure my success based on my own things. Am I succeeding at my hobbies? Have I made something worthwhile? Having relationships is a part of that, I have to admit.

[Snao Cone]

1 hour ago, Midland Tyke said:

I'm of the opinion that the last three posters would, more likely that not, be less happy in their jobs (although probably better paid, I grant you) if they had managed to sell themselves better and climb the greasy pole.

Ultimately I'm more concerned about applying myself than anything status related. It's seeking fulfillment, ideally. I'm very glad I've acknowledged and fully accepted that I won't get that through relationships, at least.