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Randomchaos

Asexual Women

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Ace of Amethysts

I'm curious - how many of you lovely ace women have had hormonal acne problems in your life? I started getting pretty bad chin acne (which is usually caused by hormones) when I was 19 or so, and it continued for over a decade. I went on birth control at 25 for mostly period reasons, and that sometimes helps this problem, but my chin acne raged on for a solid seven years after that. I wonder if the hormonal nature of this would've been affected at all by having sex.

I`ve had on-and-off clusters of pimples on my forehead for the past five years.

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fuzzipueo

I'm curious - how many of you lovely ace women have had hormonal acne problems in your life? I started getting pretty bad chin acne (which is usually caused by hormones) when I was 19 or so, and it continued for over a decade. I went on birth control at 25 for mostly period reasons, and that sometimes helps this problem, but my chin acne raged on for a solid seven years after that. I wonder if the hormonal nature of this would've been affected at all by having sex.

I believe it's as much genetic as hormonal. My skin ranges from being pretty dry to fairly oily, and I get zits all the time. My forehead and cheeks seem to be the most popular areas, though I do get them on my chin, along my jaw, and a variety of other places. I don't wear makeup or use cleansers, just a wash cloth and hot water seem to work best, though I've been told Witch Hazel works too.

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UncommonNonsense

I'm curious - how many of you lovely ace women have had hormonal acne problems in your life? I started getting pretty bad chin acne (which is usually caused by hormones) when I was 19 or so, and it continued for over a decade. I went on birth control at 25 for mostly period reasons, and that sometimes helps this problem, but my chin acne raged on for a solid seven years after that. I wonder if the hormonal nature of this would've been affected at all by having sex.

I'm going through menopause now, and I've gotten acne for the first time in my life. I didn't get many zits as a teen, but now, I've got them. I get them on the back of my head though, which is pretty strange. They mayn't be visible, but they sure do hurt! The hot weather has certainly not helped!

I've found a few things that help. Washing my hair daily with Cetaphil, a liquid soap for acne and oily skin, not using hair conditioner in that area, using isopropyl alcohol to dry out individual zits, or by using Clean & Clear Blackhead Clearing Cleanser on individual zits.

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DangerFive

I'm curious - how many of you lovely ace women have had hormonal acne problems in your life? I started getting pretty bad chin acne (which is usually caused by hormones) when I was 19 or so, and it continued for over a decade. I went on birth control at 25 for mostly period reasons, and that sometimes helps this problem, but my chin acne raged on for a solid seven years after that. I wonder if the hormonal nature of this would've been affected at all by having sex.

Ugh! Hormonal acne (chin, jaw line, hair line) is my nemesis. I've had it since I was a teenager. It cleared up for the 5 or so years that I was on the pill, but I had a blood clot and had to stop taking BC; now the acne is back like crazy! I feel so ugly most of the time, and nothing I do seems to clear it up.

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Tirnanog

Y'know what also sucks as an ace woman is that for the longest time (and even now), women- even engaged or married women- who talked about sex openly were seen as sort of vile or just whores. But the backlash for that was that in order to be strong and independent, a woman has to have a free sex life- which if she's a sexual who wants one, that's fine, but if you're an ace, (some) guys will call you a frigid ice queen and (some) gals may call you a repressed prude who's just playing into the macho system.

I don't hate the idea of women being free to choose their sexual partners- that seems great to me- I just feel like we should be allowed to choose "no thanks, don't really want sex at all" without being maligned for it.

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Hermit Advocate

I hate being an asexual women who doesn't want kids but still has to go through the inconvenience of having a period every damn month.

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Ace of Amethysts

I just hate the generalities that people say to me, even if they don't know me that well. These are mainly, but not limited to, people constantly saying that I'll "meet the right person someday" or "don't worry, you'll want kids soon enough." Very few people seem to fully accept that a person can be happy being single for potentially the rest of their lives. They usually assume that my singleness means that I am looking for someone to date and it annoys me. Excluding my aromantic factor, the majority of people I meet in my life will be sexual in one form or another, which makes dating options very slim even if I was interested. As for kids, blegh.

I also hate how women's bodies are basically treated like sex objects in media. The majority of women's ads are "Do ___ so men can find you sexy". Even though I'm not out I still hate that everywhere I look things inevitable relate back to sex. I walk in to a store and look at the clothes and the women's shorts barely have enough material to cover the crotch area. How would that be comfortable?

Most actual denim jeans are pretty uncomfortable to wear around the crotch area for me, although I`m not sure why. Speaking of, I`ve actually seen jeans that draw attention to the crotch. Just... why?

Hm, what if mom is paying so much attention to my looks because I came out to her as asexual? Or maybe appearance is simply important to her and since I'm her child she takes it personally.

More and more of my friends are starting a family nowadays, which is totally fine with me. I'm honestly happy for them. Since I don't want to hurt any parent's feelings, I try not to say that I find pregnancy disgusting and children... well, they're OK. But that's about it.

Recently I was in a group of non-(about to be)-parents, so I dared to say out loud how I view pregnancy. One agreed a little, the other completely disagreed and one jokingly threatened to tell my future children how I never wanted to have them. *grumpy face* I wished it was easier to talk about living a non-traditional life.

I also find pregnancy and childbirth to be pretty gross, but I`d like to make clear (especially if silverlinings ever reads this) that I can care about children, it just depends really.

I feel left behind and left out sometimes. Everything seems to be about sex and love, everyone seems to think you're "incomplete" if you don't at least desire a relationship. Sometimes I get so angry because I don't want to feel like there's something wrong with me. ALL of my friends have been in love at least once and I'm here unable to develop strong feelings for anyone.

So do I, sometimes. :/

I hate being an asexual woman who doesn't want kids but still has to go through the inconvenience of having a period every damn month.

I agree so much. That is all.

Edited by Ace of Amethysts

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Aloki24601

I hate this too. I think unfortunately for me it has put a bad taste in my mouth for men in general, which is not fair. I think part of the reason I have no desire for sex, is that the sexulisation of women by men has made me hate the idea of sex. I can't grasp that sex is more than just idolizing of a body. I of course know this is not the case, for a lot of men, that sex is about love and intimacy, but I really have hangups about how a lot of men treat women. I unfortunately, have just come into contact with a lot of contact with men, that just don't respect women enough, putting a bad taste in my mouth. But this is not men's fault in general, it really is about me disarming some beliefs I have about men.

I can relate strongly to this. I feel like culture has taught me that sex is something the woman gives to the man, and it is for the man. I think this is in part because I cannot picture myself enjoying it and do not have the desire. Someone actually said to me, a couple years ago, "You realize that the woman really enjoys sex too, right?" And I said, yeah, of course, but that was really one of the first times I really thought about a woman wanting sex and enjoying it, getting pleasure from it.

Sometimes it's hard for me to view men as more than sex hungry machines when they turn around to stare at my butt or say something like, yeah, you look gooood. I get frustrated that they sometimes seem to be more interested in potentially making out or sleeping with me than what I'm saying. It's hard for me to understand that, but I know it isn't all men. I used to think most people's sexual desire was similar to mine, but they act on it more, and I realize now that they are very much so feeling things that I'm not, so I try to factor that in. There is still a notion of entitlement that bothers me though. No one is entitled to my body except for me, but I don't always feel like that is a mutual belief.

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Snao Cone

There is definitely a history of sex being promoted as a service women owe men. This is in the process of changing, but the deep roots that belief has are going to take a very long time to disappear from the ongoing narrative. The approach of some women to changing that is to own their sexuality and assert their own desires. That can't be a universal solution, especially for those of us who don't have such desires. Sexual diversity is a very important part of fighting this incredibly sexist notion of woman as service providers instead of people in our own right.

Like, an asexual woman not wanting sex has literally nothing to do with the man trying to have sex with her, but he can still pout as if she's insulted him. That's not a healthy attitude for anyone.

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butterflydreams

~meta~

Am I allowed to be here?

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Snao Cone

~meta~

Am I allowed to be here?

One thousand percent Yes.

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butterflydreams

~meta~

Am I allowed to be here?

One thousand percent Yes.

Hehe, cool. I'm trying to learn to get over my fear of being in women's spaces. I've noticed in real life (in the places that matter anyway) I tend to be pretty accepted as a woman. Mostly through people's subconscious actions. And I've noticed it really helps me to have that feedback. It makes me feel like a real person instead of some outcast stuck in purgatory.

But I've seen so much stuff indicating that many women see trans women as kind of "invaders". As though I'm going to come in, dig up some dirt and then report it back to the men's camp. That really hurts because it's so untrue. I was never really accepted as "one of the boys." Not maliciously, but people could just tell. I could tell.

Plus, people don't consider how much it hurts to know that I wasn't raised as a girl. I didn't get all those experiences. I got stuck into all kinds of boys' spaces when I didn't want to be. I lost friends because it becomes taboo after a certain age for girls and boys to be just friends.

Anyway, thanks for letting me be here.

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Snao Cone

When describing experiences and the unspoken expectations we're subjected to to legitimize our voices and our existence, that applies to cis AND trans women. When the conversation is about early girlhood or parts of the body that may differ between cis and trans women, the latter might not have as much to say about the subject but that does not make their overall right to be included any lesser. The experiences of trans people are incredibly valuable to the overall discussion on gendered experiences. It seems to me that those who do not think that trans women should be a part of women's spaces don't so much care about inclusion and equality as they do about themselves and ensuring their own stories are heard by other people, with no intentions of returning that favour.

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butterflydreams

When the conversation is about early girlhood or parts of the body that may differ between cis and trans women, the latter might not have as much to say about the subject but that does not make their overall right to be included any lesser.

Yeah, it kinda hurts because it's a reminder of what is different, and what is missing. I read a very interesting thread on r/askwomen a little while back sort of related to this. The OP was a trans woman and she was asking something similar to what I did, and there was an overwhelming (and heartening) uniformity in the responses. Basically that while the OP might not have had those specific girlhood experiences, she had her own path to womanhood, and a path is a path is a path. It was a very interesting read.

I think it's a mistake to think a trans woman was a man and then became a woman, and everything before that doesn't "count". I find that to be very inaccurate. I've always been who I am now, in all the ways that matter anyway. I was actually ok when I was very little. People don't really gender kids that young too strongly, at least, they didn't for me. But I got beat up by a girl in the first grade. In second grade one of my friends got really upset with me because I had violated some "girl code" with her. These other kids weren't seeing me as a girl. This really hit me at about age 6, and I still remember crying by myself in the lunch room at school. I don't think I've ever felt so profoundly alone as I did that day. (And I've never shared this story with anyone -_-)

And so the boy role-playing began. I can't tell people how much it hurt to have to play that role for so, so, so long.

It seems to me that those who do not think that trans women should be a part of women's spaces don't so much care about inclusion and equality as they do about themselves and ensuring their own stories are heard by other people, with no intentions of returning that favour.

This is a really good point. I'd never thought of this before.

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Ace of Amethysts

And Snow says she has bad opinions...

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Randomchaos

~meta~

Am I allowed to be here?

One thousand percent Yes.

Hehe, cool. I'm trying to learn to get over my fear of being in women's spaces. I've noticed in real life (in the places that matter anyway) I tend to be pretty accepted as a woman. Mostly through people's subconscious actions. And I've noticed it really helps me to have that feedback. It makes me feel like a real person instead of some outcast stuck in purgatory.

But I've seen so much stuff indicating that many women see trans women as kind of "invaders". As though I'm going to come in, dig up some dirt and then report it back to the men's camp. That really hurts because it's so untrue. I was never really accepted as "one of the boys." Not maliciously, but people could just tell. I could tell.

Plus, people don't consider how much it hurts to know that I wasn't raised as a girl. I didn't get all those experiences. I got stuck into all kinds of boys' spaces when I didn't want to be. I lost friends because it becomes taboo after a certain age for girls and boys to be just friends.

Anyway, thanks for letting me be here.

I never knew that and I hate it.... If anyone were to consider you an invader just let me at 'em ^_~ I can't stand people like that. You identify as a woman and so you are a woman. Trans or no. Ah Jeez I'm emotionally unstable right now anyway and this pushed me over I started crying.... Jeez I hate stress and I don't like people who treat others differently just because they don't understand them... Sorry :( :cake:

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Randomchaos

~meta~

Am I allowed to be here?

One thousand percent Yes.

Hehe, cool. I'm trying to learn to get over my fear of being in women's spaces. I've noticed in real life (in the places that matter anyway) I tend to be pretty accepted as a woman. Mostly through people's subconscious actions. And I've noticed it really helps me to have that feedback. It makes me feel like a real person instead of some outcast stuck in purgatory.

But I've seen so much stuff indicating that many women see trans women as kind of "invaders". As though I'm going to come in, dig up some dirt and then report it back to the men's camp. That really hurts because it's so untrue. I was never really accepted as "one of the boys." Not maliciously, but people could just tell. I could tell.

Plus, people don't consider how much it hurts to know that I wasn't raised as a girl. I didn't get all those experiences. I got stuck into all kinds of boys' spaces when I didn't want to be. I lost friends because it becomes taboo after a certain age for girls and boys to be just friends.

Anyway, thanks for letting me be here.

Is there a way I can fix the title to make it seem more inclusive? If so please let me know :)

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magnificat

I just hate watching movies/tv shows or reading books and inevitably the token female character will fall in love/have sex

Maybe this is more of a feminism issue than ace, but I just feel like it's so oversexualizing and as an ace/demi-romantic I find it gross

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butterflydreams

I never knew that and I hate it.... If anyone were to consider you an invader just let me at 'em ^_~ I can't stand people like that. You identify as a woman and so you are a woman. Trans or no. Ah Jeez I'm emotionally unstable right now anyway and this pushed me over I started crying.... Jeez I hate stress and I don't like people who treat others differently just because they don't understand them... Sorry :( :cake:

Oh no, please don't cry :(

It's not something that's super pervasive, but in the places I have seen it, it's really entrenched. It's hard to tell where it's going to be in advance though. Sometimes I see meetup groups online, like "Women's Kickball Group" and I really hesitate to join, because I just don't know. And I don't feel like I pass well enough to hide.

On the bright side, I'm here, and posting here has made me feel a bit more welcome...like it's not really a big deal at all. So that helps :)

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Ace of Amethysts

*hugs for all ace women who need them* :)

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magnificat

I get annoyed when people like my parents for instance, occasionally suggest to others that I'll get married or have kids one day. Because I always pop right in and tell the person that I'm not and that the only thing they're going to get is grandkittens, if that. And yet the person always acts like I'm joking. Why do they all think I'm joking and going to change my mind eventually?

I used to never think I'd get a boyfriend either, so I suppose in one way that may be a reason why, but still. That and no one in my family knows I'm ace because I don't know how they'd react about it. And they don't 'get' anything in the LGBT+ spectrum. Though I don't think they even know ace is a thing, which makes it a little worse.

I experience the same problem. Everytime the topic of marriage and grandchildren come up and I say that all I want is a dog, and my parents assume that I'll change my mind, or it's just on account of extreme introversion as opposed to just a desire not to have sex or kiss anyone.

Has anyone here had to explain what asexuality is to people when they come out? I'm afraid to do it, and I'd love to hear others' stories/experiences

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magnificat

I never knew that and I hate it.... If anyone were to consider you an invader just let me at 'em ^_~ I can't stand people like that. You identify as a woman and so you are a woman. Trans or no. Ah Jeez I'm emotionally unstable right now anyway and this pushed me over I started crying.... Jeez I hate stress and I don't like people who treat others differently just because they don't understand them... Sorry :( :cake:

Oh no, please don't cry :(

It's not something that's super pervasive, but in the places I have seen it, it's really entrenched. It's hard to tell where it's going to be in advance though. Sometimes I see meetup groups online, like "Women's Kickball Group" and I really hesitate to join, because I just don't know. And I don't feel like I pass well enough to hide.

On the bright side, I'm here, and posting here has made me feel a bit more welcome...like it's not really a big deal at all. So that helps :)

It makes me very sad that you have to go through that. As someone who is cis, I can't even imagine the daily struggle. Stay strong and know that you're accepted here :)

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Randomchaos

I get annoyed when people like my parents for instance, occasionally suggest to others that I'll get married or have kids one day. Because I always pop right in and tell the person that I'm not and that the only thing they're going to get is grandkittens, if that. And yet the person always acts like I'm joking. Why do they all think I'm joking and going to change my mind eventually?

I used to never think I'd get a boyfriend either, so I suppose in one way that may be a reason why, but still. That and no one in my family knows I'm ace because I don't know how they'd react about it. And they don't 'get' anything in the LGBT+ spectrum. Though I don't think they even know ace is a thing, which makes it a little worse.

I experience the same problem. Everytime the topic of marriage and grandchildren come up and I say that all I want is a dog, and my parents assume that I'll change my mind, or it's just on account of extreme introversion as opposed to just a desire not to have sex or kiss anyone.

Has anyone here had to explain what asexuality is to people when they come out? I'm afraid to do it, and I'd love to hear others' stories/experiences

I have but it was only to three people. The first just kind of said that I would eventually find someone whom I would like and want to be intimate with. She said that she had felt the same way (This is the girl I had to explain what asexuality is to.) and that I would change my mind. The second came out to me as pan-romantic and she understands but I still had to semi-explain what it was. And the third I feel like doesn't really get it even though I explained it, I think it's because she is very sexual, but it's not as if she is mean about it she just doesn't really understand it. Actually there was a fourth but it was my psychologist and they don't count lol. But she seemed pretty chill about it.

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butterflydreams

The first just kind of said that I would eventually find someone whom I would like and want to be intimate with.

That was pretty much what my mom said to me. I don't even know why I told her. I think because I wanted her to know I was doing ok, and had figured out something about myself that had bothered me for a while. I think she only tolerated it. I don't think she believed me, because when I came out as trans, she immediately pulled out all the really big guns on me.

*aside*

This thread (well, mostly the cool peeps in it) has showed up for me at a really critical time. My struggles with being myself and asserting who I am have been really coming to a head. *hugs* and :cake: for everyone <3

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Aloki24601

Wow Hadley... People feel like you are invading? If anything I'd feel like you have expert insider advice....not as having been a man, but in role-playing and being around boys/men you would have different insight than I do as a cis woman. You have a really unique and therefore precious perspective. Your road has also been lonely at times so I hope that aven can help change that for you. I for one am really excited for you to be a part of such conversations!!

As for women "owing" men sex. I have often felt it is presented as an act that women do for men and if the women are lucky the man will be nice and "pleasure" her too.... But even a strong cuddle session would not be welcome by someone who just insulted me, I don't get it. :( I wish there were more depictions of women being independent and rejecting the disrespectful guy, and more men being solid human beings and that being attractive to women. :-/

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Sally

Anyway, thanks for letting me be here.

No "letting" involved; you have a right to be here.

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Ace of Amethysts

One hundred percent agreed. :)

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butterflydreams

Wow Hadley... People feel like you are invading? If anything I'd feel like you have expert insider advice....not as having been a man, but in role-playing and being around boys/men you would have different insight than I do as a cis woman. You have a really unique and therefore precious perspective. Your road has also been lonely at times so I hope that aven can help change that for you. I for one am really excited for you to be a part of such conversations!!

Hehe, ooo, pressure's on! ;)

I think my hesitations come from growing up in a pretty TERFy area. They're the kinds of people who would say I was invading, and that was something I learned was "a thing" pretty early on in my life. (It was the late 90s, I dunno I feel like that kind of attitude isn't as prevalent anymore, as this thread demonstrates.)

One of the biggest things that affected me was losing my earliest friends as I grew up. It's ok for little girls and boys to be friends, but it becomes uncool surprisingly early on. I don't know if it's something kids themselves feel, or imitating grownups, or what. I remember going to a friend's birthday party when I was 5 or 6. My mom thought it was weird (why was her "son" invited to this birthday party with all these girls?) but she didn't really have a problem with it. Unfortunately, I didn't understand at that age that the other girls saw me differently. I got locked in a closet (by myself) by a few girls at that party :( That kind of thing happened a lot when I was little. Eventually no girls wanted to be with me anymore, and I started trying to make friends with boys. I got into a few not good situations, especially with older neighborhood boys. But it was really hard to be friends with other boys and I tended to latch on to one at a time. I was never part of a group of boys. It made me a very easy target for bullying.

I guess no one can control what little kids do, but hey, maybe if you have kids one day, and they make friends with a slightly off little "boy", just keep things in mind :)

So, sadly, I don't really have much insight about men. I could never really get myself into their groups, even though I tried. I will say though, that living in the men's wing of the dorm when I was in college my freshman year was one of the worst experiences of my life.

As for women "owing" men sex. I have often felt it is presented as an act that women do for men and if the women are lucky the man will be nice and "pleasure" her too.... But even a strong cuddle session would not be welcome by someone who just insulted me, I don't get it. :( I wish there were more depictions of women being independent and rejecting the disrespectful guy, and more men being solid human beings and that being attractive to women. :-/

I've tended to keep really high quality guys in my inner circle in life. Couldn't really afford to do any less. And I've found that I don't tend to have the same negative impression about guys broadly that some of my friends do. That's not to say that I haven't known shitty guys (see my aforementioned freshman year in college...or even just all of college...so gross :() but I always try to come back to the guys I know who are awesome. My brother. My oldest friend (been friends almost 15 years now). My best friend's fiancé. All really good guys, and I love them all so much. I'd defend any of them with everything I've got. They help me focus on the good.

An insight I can ad about the women "owing" men sex thing is there is a pretty nasty flip side to that coin. I was never in a relationship (or anything even approaching one) as a guy. But I can say that the amount of pressure that you "had to do it" when the time came. You "had to have sex" because "it's awesome". And the nastiest part, guys aren't allowed to say 'no' at any time. At least, I was never told that, and it scared the crap out of me.

TMI for sex discussion

I was so scared for years that I was going to have to let a woman perform oral sex on me. Or worse, that I'd be with a woman and she'd do it and wouldn't stop if I asked. What if no one cared? They'd probably say, "ahh, who cares, you lucky bastard." Everyone I knew talked about it like it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. I wanted to tell someone I could trust that if they ever found out someone did that to me to call the police immediately. But who would be willing to do that? I dunno what it was, partly not wanting to be touched down there at all, and especially in that way. Regardless, it was very scary. I don't if that's all the dysphoria talking or what, but it's a huge part of how sex was framed in my mind. Not good at all.

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karnzter

I consider myself as a 'complex gray-romantic gray-ace' because I identify myself as an aromantic-/demiromantic-/apothiromantic-/quoiromantic-/akoiromantic-flux and asexual-/demisexual-/apothisexual-/quoisexual-/akoisexual-flux. I know it may be way too much, but I've been having mixed feelings on both romance and sex for most of my life.

Then there's the social status/pressure/life meta of having to 'get married on or before 30' and being in a relationship. I went through a rough time for most of my life as a bullying and catfishing victim and had my heart broken by the actual guy whose identity was used without his knowledge. The trust issues that stemmed from those experiences may have started my fluctuating loss and rare slight gain of attraction for both romance and sex.

[CONTENT AND TRIGGER WARNING FOR BULLYING AND FALSE RUMORS]

The bullying even went as far as being rumored to 'have had sex and having a sex tape' by a high school bully even though it was obvious that I don't even have one because I've never been in a relationship, neither even have close friends. And if I did have one, I would've been expelled from school.That triggered a spark for my repulsion to sex because it can be used as a weapon/tool of destruction to anyone, whether 'the deed' was done or not or it doesn't even exist at all.

The tough part of being gray-romantic and -ace (or as I call it based on my identity, a flux) is the mixed feelings and the whirlwind of questions I ask myself about my future in the relationship department. My paternal uncle has already asked me about my plans for marriage twice and I keep on giving him the same answer, which is

'There's lots of problems and priorities both at home and at work. It can wait until I have all of them resolved and worked out'.

If only I can easily and openly tell him that I mostly don't have any attraction to the guys I see and having the fear of being hurt and lied at like the last time.

I have a hard time trusting people ever since the catfishing incident, going as far as judging them before I get comfortable and gain their trust. I've also been reclusive and prefer to be in isolation most of the time and I have a growing repulsion and cynicism with society because of how things are these days where sex, romance (whether scripted or 'reality'), politics, fame, fortune, power, popularity, peer and social pressure, bullying and media of any form, vices and cults of personality have mostly dominated.

Even physical appearance is giving me issues since I don't look like those models or celebrities seen on advertisements, on TV or on the media. I don't consider myself beautiful and I have low to zero self-confidence and I'm very picky with clothes due to my weight and how people see you wearing them.

And then there's the coming out part. I came out to 5 people initially as a demiromantic demisexual, and so far, it's been mixed.

  • One was happy and accepted me.
  • One was okay but still brought up the whole 'you can still find love' part, which I'm pretty divided if it was an okay or not okay reaction.
  • I came out to both of my parents and my dad had no reaction but my mother replied that I just haven't found the right guy yet.
  • The last one didn't go so well because it went as far as ending up becoming an argument and I broke down in tears. They also brought up the whole 'you just haven't found the right guy' word and reasoned a lot with me, even though I already told them that I've barely had both romantic and sexual attraction to anyone.

I'm so sorry for being a downer again. I thought maybe it'll help me vent out some things that I can't even discuss with family or friends or therapists due to the sensitivity of the discussion.

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MiniVegan

One of them suggested that I find a guy in the club and give him a blowjob just to 'ease into the idea'. We no longer speak.

No kidding. I'm constantly astounded by the things sexual people consider to be no big deal.

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