redwolf Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Hello! Apparently I signed up here a while ago, but never got around to posting anything. I've been exploring my sexuality quite a bit this last year or two. I've already figured out I'm pretty solidly asexual. I dont get enjoyment out of sex, I dont see the point in it besides procreation, and honestly it seems tedious. I'm not interested. If it makes my partner happy, cool. Lets go for it. But thats the end of that. The part that I've really been debating is in regards to aromanticism. I've gotten to a point that I think I am aromantic, but I'm still not completely sure. I dont get invested in romantic relationships, I dont crave them, I dont want them. In all the relationships I've been in I never really got... invested? in them and when they were broken off, if I did feel anything I'd say it was relief. I felt like I could be my own person again. I wasnt "bogged down" by some attachment or anything. The only reason I've had any relationships in the first place is because I was curious, the other party asked and I figured, what the hell? Lets give it a shot, see what this whole dating thing is all about. I'll look at a person and think "damn they're cute" but my next thoughts arent holy crap I wanna bang them, its more along the lines of wanting to know what kind of person they are. Are they nice? Rude? What are they interested in? Whats their life like? I just want to get to know them, thats it. So what do you guys think? Any insight to help me along? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
monky-1998 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 hey! I am not like a romantic person but also not an aromantic. If you want to know a person before getting so far, it is good, i agree. I think you are like a "free soul", you´re independent and as I am, you rather be alone. I don´t know if you are a "cold hearted" or "just better on your" own person. so, my advice, maybe you are waiting for the right person even if that means to be alone for a while. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 So you don't experience romantic attraction? Aro seems accurate then. But if you do, then what you said doesn't make someone aro, just the absence in romantic attraction and/or desire for such a relationship is. Being indifferent is different from that. But it does sound like you experience aesthetic attraction and platonic attraction (aka squishes aka friend crushes). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
One Winged Angel Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 What you have written suggests a leaning towards Aromanticism, looking at it from my perspective as an Aromanitc myself. Of course, only you can say for sure. I personally , as an Aro-Ace, find romanticism to be generally unpleasant and actually rather repellent. It simply does not work for me, and that's all there is to it. It is not being cold or unemotional, but rather not experiencing whatever it is that romantic people feel to be drawn towards it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
redwolf Posted July 7, 2016 Author Share Posted July 7, 2016 Thank you so much for all your input and advice in this topic. Its been very helpful. I'm not a "cold-hearted" person by any means, but I am very independent in most regards. I think if I were to get a partner (gender doesnt matter for me, never has) then it would have to be one with no sexual expectations, or at least no pressure for them because it would be very few and far between if ever. I think my ideal relationship would be similar to being best friends I suppose. Just being able to relax, be ourselves and not have any requirements to go out or do anything special. Someone I can talk to about anything, have meaningful conversation with, you know, that sorta thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 Seems like you want a queerplatonic relationship, which is common for aromantics. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gigi14 Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 It really does sound like you're aromantic, based on what you wrote, but it's up to you to decide for sure! There's not a checklist in order to say you're aromantic, just like there isn't with asexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
redwolf Posted July 7, 2016 Author Share Posted July 7, 2016 Yea, I've talked about it a lot with a couple of my trusted friends, as well of lots of research online. Getting outside opinions was my last step. Honestly, finding out that aromanticism exists was a relief cause I realized I wasn't alone in how I feel. Knowing others understand is just amazing. Yea, I've talked about it a lot with a couple of my trusted friends, as well of lots of research online. Getting outside opinions was my last step. Honestly, finding out that aromanticism exists was a relief cause I realized I wasn't alone in how I feel. Knowing others understand is just amazing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 It really does sound like you're aromantic, based on what you wrote, but it's up to you to decide for sure! There's not a checklist in order to say you're aromantic, just like there isn't with asexuality. Actually there is; it's called their definitions; no attraction nor desire of a sexual/romantic nature (put in the most basic way). Anything else is just personal differences. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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